Anyhoo...

Call me a cynic...

2011-08-25T21:20:00.005-05:00

This bumper sticker annoys the ever-loving-heck out of me.

These are a few of the random thoughts that leap to mind when I see some guy driving around advertising the fact that his better half keeps sensitive parts of his lower half in her purse...

-Hmm mmm, sure you do.
-I wonder if the wife put the sticker in his Christmas stocking.

-I'm positive there's a statistic regarding how many serial killers/stalkers/perverts have been found to have that very same bumper sticker.

-Who are you trying to convince? Me? Your wife? Yourself?

-That sticker lowers the resale value of your pick-up truck by about 50%.

-I wonder if I can convince Mark to slap one on the back of his BMW?

-I wonder what Mark would do if I surprised him by slapping one of those onto the back of his BMW?

Blogging...Take 3

2011-08-24T07:51:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago I decided to begin blogging again.

So I created a new blog. Somehow it seemed like the "right" way to start fresh. Clean slate and all that. In reality the new blog idea was driven by my perfectionism. I needed to have a blog that didn't have a whole year missing... so starting a new one would make the 14 month gap less obvious. Makes complete sense, no?

Have I ever mentioned that I have issues?

After being asked by husband "Now why did you start a whole new blog again?" no less than umpteen million times...and being chastised by a friend with a few less issues than me (thanks Stace) that I was "being silly" and "that doesn't even make sense. Just pick up where you left off already"...I decided to do just that.

Besides...this blog feels right and the other felt uncomfortable and contrived. I may have mentioned that I have issues.

Now, I can't figure out how to copy and paste the two posts on the other blog to this blog...so if you want to read about the garden and the chickens follow these two links:

The garden...

The chickens...

From now on, you can find me here.

Thankful...

2010-07-15T16:18:00.003-05:00

In general, I consider myself a thankful person. A grateful person. An appreciative person.

Honestly? I know that I am blessed beyond measure or reason. To the point that I am almost embarrassed by the heaping mound of goodness that has been bestowed upon me.

Because I know that I do not deserve one single drop of it. (Those of you that know me, know this is true).

I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately. And, of course, thinking about it has led me to random blogs, news articles and such, that reiterate the fact that even at my most thankful state of mind, I am not thankful enough.

Thanksgiving should be an intentional part of our life. Something that is celebrated each and every day, not just in November with a heaping plate of turkey and carbs followed up with a nod in the general direction of our blessings.

Here are a few things that I am especially thankful for right now...

-5 healthy children

-my husband

-my husband's job

-the right and ability to homeschool my children so that they are educated in a way that lines
up with our value system

-time at Mark's family farm in Tazewell...the peach that I picked off of a tree in the orchard, the
sweet nectar that ran down my hand and dried into a sticky map of my forearm before I
could make it back to the farm house to rinse it off

-watching my kids do the same thing

-the fact that none of us were stung by the bumble bees that were sharing the orchard with us

-peaceful nights gazing up at the stars while on vacation

-Jesus. Oh, how thankful I am for his grace and his mercy. Seriously, the greatest thing that
ever happened to me was hearing that He loved me, he forgave me and forgives me still. I
remember the first time I walked into an apostolic church, received the Holy Ghost and was
baptized in the name of Jesus just like it was last night. I am so thankful for that experience.

-peace

-air conditioning

-a full fridge...and the ability to refill it when it is empty (like right now)

-hope

Life is so very good.

Loooooooooong time, no blog...

2010-06-12T22:16:00.002-05:00

Things that have happened since my last post (in no particular order):

~Cammie-Lou-Who turned 7. I cannot believe my baby is 7. Sad. Scary. Exciting. Sad. Scary.

~Marks Grandma passed away. We went to Morristown for the funeral. I learned how to say the word "You'uns" in a sentence, got fried in a circa 1992 tanning bed, drank an unsweet tea handed to me by a woman with three teeth, read a book and ate at Golden Corral...twice. And I fell in love.

~I am now the mother of a 2nd grader, a 3rd grader, a 4th grader, an 8th grader (*sniff, sniff, tear) and...........an 11th grader (dear Jesus in heaven, how did this happen?!?!?!?!)

~My sister and her lovely husband informed me that I will be an aunt in February. YAY! YAY! YAY!

~I fell in love with a baby named Miles. I want to gobble him up. But his mommy would disapprove. So I will settle with kissing his fat little cheeks raw.

~We took a spur of the moment trip with the kids to Hot-lanta. We toured the Coca~Cola museum...super cool. Forrest made friends with the Polar bear. I fell in love with Ikea.

~Craigslist became my friend. I sold Chloe's Gator, a big screen floor model TV and the Pottery Barn Play kitchen. I am addicted. I am also looking around my house for things to sell. My children are scared that they are next.

~I have made 7 trips to the Goodwill to drop off tons and tons and tons and tons of CRAP!!!

~I have witnessed a miracle. My mother-in-law recovered some of her lost kidney function...which means that she can forgo dialysis for a few more months. THANK YOU JESUS!

~We made some monumental-life changing decisions...that I will disclose later :)

~We are contemplating another monumental-life changing decision...that may or may not be disclosed later.

~I ate sushi with a girlfriend and it was yummy.

~Mark's role at work changed and he is loving it.

~I missed someone terribly.

~My papaw died...and I am still not ready to write about it.

~Someone told me that I was a good friend and I felt like I had won the lottery.

~Two of my girls got glasses.

~My boy is officially 6 inches taller than me.

~I read several books, cleaned out closets, cleaned out drawers, cleaned out the garage, and felt better!

~Hit a rough patch and kept going.

~I was blessed beyond measure.

An open letter to Austrian Airlines ...

2010-03-10T10:38:00.005-06:00

Re: flight from Washington-Dulles into Vienna, Austria

First, let me start by saying that while I realize that it is not your fault that United sold the tickets that we purchased from them to you...thereby leaving both you and us (my husband and I) stranded in a relationship neither party had signed up for. These things happen, I understand.
Sometimes, they even turn out really, really well. For instance, United betrayed us last year too. They dumped us onto Lufthansa without a second thought. That turned out just lovely actually! Excellent service, a few more inches of leg room, relatively new plane...yes, we were satisfied with our newly arranged relationship. We had hoped that the same would be true with you.

To be fair, I will start with the positive. I don't want to come across as unduly negative. The meals were better than average for airline cuisine.

Now, with the pleasantries out of the way, I would like to discuss my complaints.

When we boarded our flight from Washington-Dulles to Vienna, we made our way to our window seat and stowed our carry-ons. When we raised the arm rest and it gave an excruciating squeal of complaint, my husband and I gave each other a look and a shoulder shrug and figured we would just keep it in one position for the rest of the flight so as not to scare other travelers into thinking that a wing was falling off of the plane.

Once situated, I tried to turn on the monitor so that I could watch the amusing video that accompanies safety instructions on international flights. My monitor would not turn on. I nudged my husband who then tried to turn on his monitor.

My husband's monitor would not turn on either.

Determined too keep a positive attitude, I plucked a magazine from my carry-on and reached above me to turn on the overhead seat light.

It did not turn on.

Neither would the light above my husband.

An expensive 8hr flight with no on-board movies and no light to read by... my positive attitude had fizzled and something much closer to high-annoyance began simmering . It didn't help when the flight attendant pretended not to speak English.

When the flight attendant passed by the third time, he must have just returned from a quick refresher course because his command of the English language was quite impressive. After some negotiating, he offered to move us to seats that had both lights and monitors...but no window. In the spirit of compromise, we accepted the move.

After collecting our belongings and suffering through the stares as our armrest let out a SKIRRRRRICH of complaint, we were shown to our new seats.

After re-stowing our carry-ons, I caught my first glimpse of my new seat mate. Who just so happened to look exactly like Andre the Giant. Only I don't recall Andre ever having white-blonde hi-lights streaked throughout his mullet or fingernails longer than an eagles talons. Perhaps you don't know who Andre the Giant is, in which case I have taken the liberty to include a photo.

Yes, just like that only with the hi-lights and talons.

AND, a 3 pound economy sized bag of sunflower seeds. Which he gnawed on for the ENTIRE 8 HOUR flight.

Please, picture this...my 5'2 frame sandwiched between my 6'4 husband and 7'2 Andre and his talons and his sunflower seeds. For 8 hours.

Have you ever had the pleasure of having ringside seats to an all out Talon vs. Sunflower seed match? It is quite an event. The crunch of the plastic as the hand rummages for it's next victim. The scrunch as the seed is ejected from the shell. The sound of talon against tooth as said shell is wrenched from the jaws of the giant. The slurping sound as the salt is sucked from the length of the 2 inch yellowed talon. The sigh of satisfaction as the pitted seed is deposited into a cup. A cup that happens to be clear thereby allowing spectators to watch in horror as shell after saliva after shell after saliva is amassed. For 8 hours.

Yes, the crunching, scrunching, slurping, sighing experience could all be heard through the earphones that were firmly lodged into my lobes. Yes. Really.

I am happy to report that I survived relatively unscarred. If only your plane had been in proper working order this could have been the beginning of a lovely new relationship. In fact, we had been prepared to give you a second chance since our return flight was booked through you as well. Instead, after the perils of the return flight (which I will address at a later date), we have vowed to never fly on an Austrian Air flight again. Ever.

Sincerely,

A customer who now has recurring nightmares about talons and sunflower seeds.

Wherein Forrest proves once agan that he is a natural blonde...

2010-01-29T12:37:00.004-06:00

In an effort to cut down on chronic speeding problems and the not so chronic crime rate, the Hendersonville Police Department parks empty patrol cars along the bypass and at random gas stations.

Last week Forrest, Cammie and I went to Thornton's (our friendly neighborhood gas station / mini-mart) to rent a movie from the Red Box. There just so happened to be a patrol car parked near the Red Box. Taped to the driver's side window was the following picture:

I found it amusing as did Forrest. I said "that is hilarious, a picture of Barney Fife". Forrest grabbed my iphone and hopped out of the car to snap a picture of the picture. When he climbed back in, he said "that is so funny, but that's not Barney Fife, it's Don Knotts".

Yes Forrest, it is.

Today I..

2010-01-19T17:07:00.003-06:00

*had the strangest thought upon waking. I was praying for Mark to have a safe trip and a safe return...when it occurred to me that if he ever died we would be without health insurance. Of course I woke him right up and asked him what I should do in that event. "Buy a personal plan" he answered. "But who will help me pick one out" I whined. "Google" he replied.

*stayed home while Mark drove the girls to school...a special treat that only happens when he is leaving to go out of town.

*had brunch with Mark at Cracker Barrel. I half listened as two older women across the aisle from us complained bitterly about another woman and then I prayed that God would help me to be more compassionate and merciful.

*drove Mark to the airport and kissed him goodbye. Poland is a loooooooong ways away. I definitely get a little whiney when he has to leave the country for a week. Then, I thanked the Lord for Mark's job and the opportunities and the lifestyle that it affords us. And, I also thanked God for a husband that works hard. Being thankful changes my perspective. It's hard to whine while giving thanks.

*went to Rivergate Mall. I removed my handgun from the console of the car and placed it in my purse. Rivergate Mall weirds me out.

*bought a cleanse from GNC. While checking out, the guy in line behind me noticed the box in my hand. He helpfully told me that it was a great cleanse. In fact, he had just come off of the same cleanse himself. I told him that I had never tried this particular cleanse and I hoped that I would notice a change in my energy level and sugar cravings. He assured me that I would. He also shared "that there will be a distinct difference in your stool. You'll be amazed". Greeaaaaaaat! Good to know! I adore talking about stool with strange men in vitamin stores. Have I mentioned that Rivergate Mall is a weirdo magnet?

*might have stopped in Journey...which may or may not have resulted in three pairs of shoes. (If it did result in three pair of shoes, they would have all been on sale and two pair would have been marked down to 9.99....).

*finally went grocery shopping. Without coupons. Which meant Super-Walmart. Yuck.

*had an encouraging conversation with my bestie...if only she were moving back to Nashvegas...

*let Forrest drive the BMW home from school. It was only a tiny bit scary...and not one single bad word escaped my lips when he hit the brakes too hard, turned too wide or almost swiped the Yukon while parking in the driveway.

*broke a nail trying to grab Winston's collar as he lunged past me and out the door...followed by Marley. Good times.

*hope that I sleep well tonight.

Random...

2010-01-16T13:38:00.002-06:00

-The online class that I registered for is going really well. I have created more layouts in the last three weeks than I completed in all of last year combined. There was one little snafu with some online photo ordering that put me behind a week (which was quite frustrating as I was determined to NOT fall behind). One of the scrapbook blogs that I read recommended an HP-B8550 for large format home printing. I found it online for 50% off and my ever indulgent husband told me to order it. This printer makes me a happy girl.

-Speaking of my little husband...he leaves for Poland on Tuesday. I don't love that his job is requiring so much travel lately...but I do love that he has a job, so I will not complain. Okay, I may complain, but only a little.

-Parenting a teenager is difficult.

-Growth Groups begin on Wednesday and I am super excited! I love Growth Groups, I love what they do for people and for our church. I love that I have a pastor who was willing to take the risk and invest in relationships in the church.

-Sunshine and warm weather cannot get here fast enough. Spring is my fave.

-Someone needs to go to the gym, yes she does.

-Forrest will be 16 in 6 weeks. Eeek!

Hmmm.....that's all I've got.

Dear Al Gore,

2010-01-05T11:08:00.002-06:00

I know that you have a home located less than 20 minutes away from my home. This means there is a distinct possibility that you have already caught the local news. On the off chance that you are aboard your private jet en route to some remote destination on a reforestation project in an effort to offset your massive carbon footprint, I thought I would help you out by posting the following link:

http://www.wsmv.com/news/22117066/detail.html

Now, I realize that near record lows may be an inconvenient truth for you, but look on the bright side...you can relocate some of those poor polar bears to Belle Meade Boulevard if necessary!

Sincerely,

A fellow Tennessean that happens to be freezing!

"Let go..."

2010-01-04T20:23:00.003-06:00

Last year I chose "better" as my word of the year. How did it go you ask? Hmmm... let's see...I'd say it went about as well as my word of the previous year which was "discipline" (please, hold your laughter).

For the last few weeks I have been mulling over my word of 2010. Today I had an epiphany of sorts. I was on the phone with a friend, describing a step that I have taken in an effort to let go of some of my perfectionist tendencies. When I said the words "let go", I swear the sun shone a bit brighter.

Here are somethings I'm working on letting go:
-toxic relationships
-past hurts
-past failures
-worrying about what other people think
-perfectionism that paralyzes
-clutter
-bad habits
-negative thoughts
-worry and anxiety over people and situations that I can't change
-fear of failure
-pounds (of course you knew that would be on the list)
-worry about falling off of all of the wagons I'd like to stay on

For the first time in a really long time I feel hopeful and excited about the days ahead.

Once upon a time there was a girl

2009-12-12T14:50:00.004-06:00

who had a blog. The girl fancied herself something of an amateur writer. While her intentions were to spin out snarky posts in a timely fashion, she recognized her limitations and was instead, mostly content to let her stories spill forth in little hiccups throughout the months.

There came a time that a hiccup turned into something more along the lines of a coma. Almost 5 months passed with nary a word written. In those long quiet days, the girl turned thoughts and ideas over in her mind. "Perhaps I will write about this" she thought. And, "this would make an excellent blog post". Yet, she never brought herself to type the first letter.

Until, at last she said to herself "enough is enough, just write something already".

And so she did.

*Somewhere in that 5 month slumber she managed to waken long enough to have a family photograph taken by one immensely talented camera person*

A Ghost Story...

2009-07-28T16:09:00.002-05:00

Mark and I stayed at an historic Bed & Breakfast in Rugby, TN whilst on vacation. We chose Rugby as our base because (1) we had passed through the town a few weeks before and discovered an AMAZING swimming hole, (2) I have a thing for historic homes, (3) the notion of no Internet access, cell-phone signals, televisions, or anything else remotely hi-tech sounded appealing, and (4) after 3 hours of searching for lodging in Big South Fork National Park yielded me exactly -nothing-, I decided it would be easier than wasting another minute of my life.

I had heard of Rugby before our little adventure with the kids a few weeks back. When we arrived at the visitor center, Forrest kept mentioning zombies. I chalked this up to (a) him being a male and therefore interested in all things creepy and (b) that he can be annoying like that. Although, in his defense, the area surrounding the building was a bit surreal. We had to walk through a small wooded lot to get to the entrance, there was a nary a soul to be seen and the little village looked frozen in time.

As I searched and searched for a place for us to rest our heads, Forrest sat across the room from me reading a book. Every now and then (usually as I muttered a less-than-lady-like word) he would offer up a word of encouragement..."have you tried searching hotel-big-south-fork"? To which I would reply "No Forrest, that combination never entered my mind, thank you for reminding why we pay the big bucks for your education". This at the two-hour thirty-five-minute mark of my search.

As I shut my computer down a few minutes later he asked if I had found anything. I replied that yes, I had booked the B&B in Rugby and that it would have to do because I was OVER searching. He says"You should call aunt Lottie (name has been changed to protect her identity) and ask her about that place".

I froze.

"Why"? I asked. But truth be told, I didn't need to ask him "why". Whatever little wisp of fog had been covering the memory of how I had become acquainted with Rugby in the first place began lifting the moment Forrest mentioned my aunt Lottie.

"To see if there are any ghosts" was his reply.

My aunt Lottie, well...how should I put this...well, she is in tune with the supernatural...and no, I don't mean the Jesus supernatural. I mean the traveling around the country, staying at haunted inns, getting in touch with the other side supernatural.

A few years ago she had mentioned that she and her husband loved visiting historic Rugby...the food at the Cafe, the restored Victorian cottages, the charming perfectly preserved library and the haunted lodging. I somehow retained all details except for that last little bit.

My voice may or may not have gone up an octave and I may or may not have shrieked at my favourite son "WHY DIDN'T YOU REMIND ME OF THAT BEFORE"???

"I did" he says...with an uplifted eyebrow and the beginning of a little smirk on his lips.

"No. You didn't". I snap back. (At which point I may or may not have taken a moment to think "how did that kid get so stinkin' cute, his smirk is adorable"). Ummm...where was I???

"Yes. I did. Remember, I kept telling you that there were Zombies in the woods. What did you think I was talking about? You think I just like to talk about zombies? I'm 15 mom, not 10".

He had a point.

It was entirely too late to cancel our reservation. I had booked the room on a last minute deal and canceling was out of the question. So, I called aunt Lottie to find out exactly what I had signed us up for. (Not that I actually believe in ghosts or anything).

After a 15 minute conversation in which I was versed in all of the best spots to see "spirits", the bet way to view "orbs" in the cemetery, which ghost was which and why it haunted that particular spot...I chalked it all up to nonsensicalness and promptly forgot about the whole ordeal.

Fast forward two weeks. We are checked into our suite in the B&B. The B&B is gorgeous and I want to build a house exactly like it.

Because I still have insomnia issues I took a ginormous swig of Nyquil before climbing into the antique double bed. Because I have dry eyes and the air conditioning was irritating my condition further, I removed my contacts. Because there was no night stand on my side of the bed, I passed my glasses to Mark who set them on the table on his side. Because I am courteous, I did not wake Mark and ask him to hand me my glasses when I awoke in the night and needed to use the facilities. Because my husband does not get out in the sun very often, he does not have a tan...in fact, he is quite white. Because my son and aunt filled my head with tales of Casper the ghost the following happened.

When I returned to the room in my drugged-blind-bat state, I saw a big white blob hovering on the other side of the bed! I jumped three feet into the air and cried "Jesus". Which caused the white blob to jump three feet in response! The blob then spoke "Good grief Destry! What is wrong with you???"

Lucky for Casper..er, Mark my gun was on the mantle far across the room. By the way, can you actually shoot a ghost?

Summer...

2009-07-16T12:16:00.004-05:00

This summer is absolutely FLYING by. I think the feeling is intensified by the fact that our school system switches to an year round schedule this year (which I am happy about).

It seems like each year we spend the month of June catching up on things...reading, sleeping, playing outside, swimming, eating Popsicles by the dozens, staying up to watch umpteen million Disney movies and endless Deadliest Catch reruns.

At some point, usually as we begin thinking about our 4th of July plans, it hits me..."wow summer break is half way over". Which spurs me into travel agent action. Finding day trips to fill our weekends with, searching out places that are educational as well as entertaining, booking a hotel room for our annual trek to Holiday World, finding a snatch of time that Mark and I can get away together, etc. And in all of that, knowing that I can begin dealing with "Back To School" preparations on August 1st. Except this year, those preparations must be done before August 1st.

Last year Forrest began school the first Monday in August. Preparing for that wasn't difficult or time consuming. Uniforms were bought in one place, one check was written to cover text books and the first monthly meal plan. Two reams of paper, one package of pens and another of pencils and off he went. This year, Chloe and Cammie begin school on August 3rd...and the list of school supplies for a 1st and 2nd grader is significantly longer than the list of a 1oth grader.

Beginning today, I am on a sprint to August 10th. Because on the 10th, our life will fall back into the comfortable school year rhythm. Routines will be reestablished and I'll be able to take a deep breath and know that I have a few months respite until the holiday season begins.

Until then, this is what the next three weeks hold:

-Thursday July 16...Leave for Holiday World

-Friday and Saturday...Holiday World

-Saturday night upon return...do all laundry related to trip because on

-Sunday...Forrest leaves for Georgia for his visit with Grandmother Carol in Savannah.

-Monday and Tuesday...get the house in order, grocery shop, plan for sitter

-Wednesday July 22...register Forrest for school, buy text books leave at 10 for Big South Fork National Park

-Wednesday afternoon through Saturday...relax with my husband who desperately needs a break

-Sunday...meet Carol in Atlanta to retrieve Forrest

-Monday-Thursday...school supply shopping for girls, uniform shopping for Forrest, catch up laundry, pack and CELEBRATE MY SOPHIE'S 9TH BIRTHDAY!!!

-Friday July 21st...Mark and Forrest leave with some of the guys from church to sleep on an aircraft carrier somewhere in Alabama...and I leave with all 4 of the girls to visit my best friend that moved back to Indiana (I am still in denial about that and am in no way ready to deal with the torrent of emotions that I am desperately fending off)

-Sunday...return from Indiana in time for evening services at church

-Monday...Chloe and Cammie start school

-Tuesday...catch up laundry and take Hannah shopping for cute outfits for Youth Congress

-Wednesday August 5th...CELEBRATE MS. HANNAH'S 12TH BIRTHDAY...and go to Youth Congress

-Thursday-Saturday...Youth Congress

-Monday August 10th...the day routines return to the Suffridge household

Oh, and Hannah and Sophie have been promised a bedroom makeover for their birthdays...which means painting is in my future...August 5th is my deadline, or so I am told.

Please, don't misunderstand. I am in no way complaining about how hectic the next three weeks will be. When I read back over the list, yes, I feel a little overwhelmed with the inevitable "to do" lists that go along with each bullet point... But I am also overwhelmed with thankfulness and gratitude.

My life is unbelievably full and rich. I am blessed beyond measure. There are difficulties in my life to be sure. But those problems and issues are tiny when compared to the heaping mountains that are my blessings.

I think about how blessed I am often...and I assure you, those musings are not done in a prideful fashion, but in an incredulous manner. Honestly, I question God about it on a regular basis. For the life of me, I cannot comprehend why he is so generous towards me. I am certain that I am not worthy of his favor.

When I think about the life that I lived before...the person that I was and the path that I was on... and I compare that to the life I live now, the person I am becoming and the path that is before me...there are no words.

From the tiniest aspect of my existence, the minutiae of my day to day, the mounds of laundry and the innumerable tasks involved in keeping a family of seven running...to the major aspects such as praying with someone in the altar, or watching as the 4th of our 5 children was baptized in the glorious name of Jesus, to testifying in the women's prison, I am blessed and oh so thankful.

Everbody is else is doing it...

2009-06-24T21:24:00.003-05:00

so I should too.

Right? Right.

Outside my window… it is hot and humid, dark and quiet.

I am thinking… that I should most definitely exercise tomorrow (and every day after that for ever and ever, amen).

I am thankful for…health insurance and the ability to buy medicine.

From the kitchen… I hear the sound of one of my kids rustling grapes out of the fridge.

I am wearing… shorts and a tank top.

I am creating… a backlog of "picture a day" photos.

I am going… to start journaling again...(because you know, I need another wagon to fall off of).

I am reading… absolutely nothing of interest. (so sad).

I am hoping… that I don't come down with the shingles.

I am hearing… my poor little husband toss and turn and moan in his sleep.

Around the house… things look pretty good...just don't open a drawer or closet door.

One of my favorite things… is air-conditioning and route 44 strawberry-limeades in the summer.

Has it really been a month...

2009-06-22T18:21:00.005-05:00

since I have posted? Wow. Not good. Actually, it has been a month and two days...if you want to be specific.

What on Earth have I been doing for the past month and two days? Not much.

I really have nothing to say. That's why I haven't posted. Really.

Okay, there have been a few times that I thought about posting...and then decided that I should keep my negative commentary to myself. You know, if you don't have anything nice to say...and all that .

Blogger's block. That's it.

Let me streamline this rambling...

RIGHT NOW:

*I am listening to Forrest and Cameron shoot one another with airsoft guns. It sounds something like this...

-click-

Forrest: owwww!

Cameron: dude, did that hurt?

Forrest: Nah, man. Here let me shoot you. OOOOO...I know turn around, let me see if I can hit the back of your ear.

-click-

Cameron: OWWWWW! Dude, you missed. You hit me in the neck. My turn...cover your face with the oven mitt and I'll try to hit the thumb part.

I should probably stop them before someone gets their eyeball shot out...but the commentary is entertaining.

*I am debating on showering. To shower or not to shower, that is the question.

*My house is really, really dusty. Something is up with the filtration system. I am thinking about writing love notes to my little husband in the dust. I can't decide if that is sweet or weird.

*I need a new book to read. I am open to suggestions.

*I wish I were in Chicago, on the beach, in Alaska, napping in a hammock, driving through Amish country...on vacation anywhere but here.

And, that is all I've got. Exciting, huh?

edited to add...the Cameron mentioned above is Forrest's friend Cameron, not his sister Cameron.

AND...in regards to showering...I don't stink or anything...a part of me would enjoy a long hot shower and another part of me thinks it would require entirely too much effort.

Some things I know...

2009-05-20T16:44:00.003-05:00

* that I am so not good at updating the photo blog. My sister, who deep down really believes in me, suggested that I just delete it. I thought maybe I would...for about a second and then I remembered something else that I know...

* I am stubborn and prone to moments of bratty-ness...which sends thoughts like "It's my photo blog...they're my memories...and so what if I'm 2 months behind...I'm really good at making lists and I will, eventually catch it up." All of that said in an indignant tone, hands on hips, quite sassy actually.

* Growth Groups (small groups, in-home bible studies, etc) begin tonight. My living room carpet is super funky, all of my patio furniture is in the back yard because the deck is being stained tomorrow, the window sill repairs are not complete...people will notice. I care. It makes me CRAZY that my home will be less than *perfect* when 25 people arrive on my doorstep this evening.

* There is nothing I can do about it.

* I am excited about Growth Groups despite of my home-neurosis.

* Today is the last day of school. I might go crazy, then again Ms. Abby will be lending a helping hand on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Yay Abby!

* I am more than a little freaked out that my son will be a sophomore next year. Three years left. My heart. is. broken.

Hey there...

2009-05-13T10:20:00.002-05:00

I apologize for being MIA...again. It seems like I am always apologizing for that...hmmm...maybe I should update the blogs more often...or maybe just stop apologizing for not doing it. Actually, I am a chronic-apologizer. People are constantly telling me to "stop apologizing", "stop saying you're sorry", "don't worry, why are you apologizing". Hmmm...maybe I have Apologetic OCD. Is there a correct term for over-apologizing? AND, lest you wonder if my apologies can be sincere when given so frequently, I assure you, they are.

Now that I got that out of the way...

I will again say that "I have a list and have been taking pictures and will update the photo blog soon". I know, it's been said before. I promise, it will be said again.

What have I been doing (other than avoiding blogging)? Welll...

1. I got the spring-cleaning bug and cleaned out the laundry room from top-to-bottom. Exciting right? Okay, maybe not...but it looks wonderful.

2. I also cleaned my office...including filing stacks and stacks of papers. (Yes, I am full of excitement like that).

3. I have been converted into a chronic-couponer. Don't believe me? Just wait until you see my fully-organized-three-ring-binder-of-coupony-goodness. Renee responsible for my latest fixation. I can't decide if I want to squeeze her in a bear-hug of thanks...or bonk her over the head with my 10-pound-fully-organized-three-ring-binder-of-coupony-goodness. Seriously though, I am breaking out into splotches on a regular basis as I scoop up boxes of Fiber One bars for the low, low price of sixty-four-cents-per-box...and amassing a collection of deodorant and BBQ sauce. If the world ends and we can no longer shop at Wal-Mart, my family will smell good and I am banking on the fact that we can survive a mighty long time on Fiber One bars and BBQ sauce.

In summation (did I ever mention that I had planned on being a lawyer at one time...this was back in high school...just before I decided that I preferred certain extra-curricular activities over...oh, say learning...moving on)...where was I, oh yes, in summation, I have been a productive person for the last few weeks...and I must say, it has been satisfying. Not satisfying enough to give up afternoon naps altogether...but satisfying enough to skip them for at least a few weeks.

Happy Spring Cleaning! (I am trying to convince myself to clean out the pantry...then again, today might be a good day to reinstate napping).

Ahhh...

2009-04-28T21:49:00.001-05:00

I finally began catching up the photo blog. Look for more tomorrow. Now, excuse me while I do the happy dance...

Excuses...

2009-04-24T17:30:00.004-05:00

Have I ever mentioned that I. Heart. Guh-raffes? Because, I do. Really. Heart. Guh-raffes. Anyhoo...in case you are asking yourself why a random photo of Sophie appeared at the top of the last blog post...and in case you are currently wondering if this post will be about

Guh-raffe love...let me help you out. My little husband and my favorite sister and others who shall remain nameless *cough* Amy *cough* have mentioned (complained, whined, nagged about) the lack of pictures appearing on the blog. In an effort to please the readership...I am working on posting more pictures...even if said pictures have absolutely no relevance to the topic at hand.

*I chaperoned two field trips this week.

*Chaperoning threw off my schedule and I haven't quite caught up.

*The digital display went out on my camera and I am in denial about it.

*My allergies are going nuts.

*I honestly haven't a two hour stretch of downtime this week. Okay, I did have a two hour stretch and I spent it napping...see the first two.

*Procrastinating is HARDWIRED into my DNA.

*I lost the cord to my scanner...I placed it somewhere safe and convenient so that I would remember...and promptly forgot.

The good news...I pinky promise that I will update at least 10 days on the photo blog...and I will do a post of "Way Back" pictures...

Tomorrow.

A few things that...

2009-04-23T17:13:00.004-05:00

are making me happy:

*the sound of Forrest playing "Wish You Were Here" on his acoustic guitar

*sunshine streaming in through the family room windows

*knowing that I am FINISHED with Chloe and Cammie's clothing fiasco

*reflecting on the fantastic bible study at church last night

*A t-shirt that Forrest designed that says -I Mosh For Jesus- seriously, it cracks me up

I am looking forward to:

*a Saturday with NOTHING on the calendar

*cleaning our Hannah and Sophie's closet...seriously

*planting flowers around the pond

*weight loss/fitness contest at the gym beginning on May 1st

*a day at the spa with my oldest friend (Carrie) to celebrate her 31st birthday

I am not looking forward to:

*making myself update the photo blog...I will be happy when I am finished...but I am sooo behind

*painting the powder room

*cleaning out the laundry room

*replacing the family room carpet

are stressing me out:

*the digital display on my camera has gone out (shucks, guess I'll need a new camera...hahaha)

*my puppy that likes to dig up the plants around the pond

*my other puppy that likes to chill in the pond

*updating the photo blog

are on the agenda (feeling inspired):

*scrapbooking

*printing off TONS of pictures

*writing poetry (Did you know that I wrote tons of poetry when I was teenager?)

*redoing Hannah and Sophie's room

Lists...

2009-04-16T16:37:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I:

1.brought all of the hand-me-down totes out of the attic...I think there were 5 plus a large bag.

2. brought half of the hang-up hand me downs from the attic... (I have a 12ft rod hanging in the attic *crammed* with hanging clothes in various sizes...6ft worth made it down)...I also found some charming photographs of myself...coming soon.

3. sorted all of the fall/winter clothes into different "categories" (I am all about the categories).

4. caught up Quicken.

5. went to church early to make visitor follow-up calls...it felt very satisfying and I loved it.

6. locked my son out of his room...yes, he is grounded from his room...Yay teenagers!

Today I:

1. signed up to chaperon two field trips next week...Zoo on Tuesday with Chloe and Discovery Center on Thursday with Cammie. (I am not known for my patience with squealing children...so I will be driving my truck, not riding on the buses...and taking lots of deep breaths).

2. burned 278 calories in 40 minutes with my trainer.

3. was treated to a 20 minute hydro-massage because I am the "client of the month".

4. came home and folded 3 loads of laundry because I would really like to be more domestic. Really.

5. decided to take a two hour nap because I felt like jello from the massage, tired from the work out and proud of the three loads of laundry I folded. (I lead a charmed life, I know).

This evening I:

1. am going to spend time (lots of time) making my reluctant younger daughters try-on lots and lots of clothes.

2. will menu plan. Seriously.

3. will be making a grocery list. Honestly.

4. will pay the bills. Wooohooo! Not.

5. will feel accomplished in spite of my two hour nap.

update: 9:30pm
I spent three more hours on the closet fiasco, then paid the bills. Grocery list and meal planning will take place in the morning. I feel accomplished.

Things I am currently procrastinating...

2009-04-15T09:24:00.002-05:00

1. uploading, sorting, editing pictures

2. updating the photo blog (see #1)

3. meal planning (hahahahaahaha), grocery list making

4. grocery shopping (see #3)

5. going through the kids closets, dresser drawers, hand me down totes

6. putting away the laundry (see #5)

7. cleaning out my closet

8. making 3 phone calls

9. catching up quicken, paying the bills

10. thinking about the things I am procrastinating- DONE

Just listing them all out is enough to have me scurrying back under the covers for a day of rest.

A few things...

2009-04-09T17:51:00.004-05:00

1. There will be no "Way Back" post this week. I have been busy...and I need to get a tote full of incriminating photos out of the attic...I promise to make up for it...I'm thinking a picture of me with black dreadlocks would be worth the wait...then again, maybe not.

2. Spring Break-Take Two...has been rather uneventful. Although, the following conversation took place...

Scene: Looking for yard sales with Chloe, Cammie and Sophie (we had an hour to kill while Mark was finishing up a men's work day at church)...

Cammie: When I grow up, and I'm a mom, I'm gonna take my little girl to yard sales so she can spend her two dollars.

Chloe: Me too.

Sophie: Me too.

Cammie: If I'm gonna be a momma, that means I have to have a baby, right?

Me: Yes. (Clueless to the conversation that is about to open up).

Cammie: And that means (this is where realization dawns on me....here we go, another V-word phobic talk)...that it will have to come out my.....????

Me: We've talked about this already. (Internally praying that we stumble upon a yard sale...pronto).

Cammie: I know, but I don't think a baby will be able to come out of either one of those places.

Sophie: What places?

Chloe: Your tutti.

Cammie: Or your booty.

Sophie: WHAT?!?!?!?!?! A baby comes out of your tummy.

Cammie: So which is it...the tooty, the booty or the tummy?

Me: Definitely not the booty.

Sophie: I think they CUT it out of your tummy.

Cammie: I am definitely not gonna be a momma.

Chloe: Me either.

Sophie: Me either.

Does anyone know of any good detailed books? I need to educate these poor children.

3. I realize that I am way behind on the photo blog...what else is new? I have taken the pictures, I have a list...update coming soon.

4. The pic of the week and the photo blog will be up next week...tomorrow morning we leave for the farm for our family's Easter gathering. Woohoo for piling 7 people and 2 ginormous dogs into the truck for a 90 minute drive, woohoo for target practice, woohoo for egg hunts and bonfires, cousins and crickets, 4-wheelers and creeks.

5. Pedicures rock. Seriously.

On parenting...

2009-04-03T09:42:00.002-05:00

Most days, I pray that God's grace is enough to cover my inadequate parenting...especially in the teenager parenting arena.

Occasionally, one of the kids or the teenager do or say something that gives me a glimmer of hope that they will indeed turn out well.

Conversely, there are times that the kids...especially the teenager...does something or some things that cause me to scratch my head (more like pull my hair out of my head) and think to myself...surely I am not doing this bad of a job am I???

On those days I pray that God's grace will (A) help me to not beat the living day lights out of the teenager, and (B) help me make it through to the next glimmer of hope.

Seriously, whoever said that being a parent is "the most rewarding job one can have" was either a liar or suffering from delusions.

Time Travel Thursday?

2009-04-02T17:50:00.004-05:00

Umm...it doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? Way back Wednesday definitely sounds better...but today is Thursday...and I allllmost typed "Way Back Wednesday...on Thursday" but I knew that I would be setting myself up for many more posts titled "Way Back Wednesday...on some other day".

I decided to open my oldest digital file to find a photo for today. This picture was taken with my very first digital camera...(until this point I had been a photography "purist"...a picture just wasn't a picture unless it was captured on film). There are very few digital pictures until 2005...I held out as long as I possibly could.

This one was taken on November 3, 2001...the day we brought Chloe home from the hospital.

I loved this gown and hat.

I loved this car seat (it had giraffes (pronounced: guh-raffes) printed on it).

I loved her little squishy face. (I still do).

Way Back Wednesday...on Saturday.

2009-03-28T19:58:00.006-05:00

How many of you guessed that I would miss Way Back "Wednesday"? Never mind, don't answer that.

I feel bad about disappointing everyone that clicked over here on Wednesday expecting a blast from my past. (Okay, so there were probably five people that clicked over...but don't tell me that, my fragile self-esteem can't handle the knowledge that only five people read my blog).

Anyhoo... I thought I would try to make it up to you five by posting some priceless pics of...myself.

Let me preface this picture posting by telling you that the following were taken at age 17. At 17, I had several body piercings, my hair changed color on a monthly basis, and I was opposed to any type of UV light touching my skin (and therefore my complexion was a whiter shade of pale). To say that I was not the "Glamour Shots" type of gal would be a huge understatement... but my mother-in-law (at the time) prodded me into going.

And now...without further ado...I present: Glamour Shots!!!

Okay, if I am being objective, I would have to say that this first picture isn't too bad. The mushroom puff hair-do does leave something to be desired, but in general it's not terrible.

Moving on... shot number two...

Oooohhhh...look at the red finger nails. Why did they tell me to hold up four fingers? Does this strike anyone else as odd? Nevermind that this picture also accentuates the fact that I was in dire need of having my roots "done".

Photo numero three...or what I refer to as "Peacock Pose"...

Seriously, what is up with the feather boa? Why am I holding it above my head? I look like a turquoise and white peacock in dire need of having it's roots done.

Now, for the fourth and final pose.

Perhaps their intentention was to make me look like some sort of biker babe...hmmm...not so much.

I remember posing for this picture. Not only did I have to don an itchy emarald green bustier...but I was required to bend in contortions of an unnatural nature in order to get my head to look straight on my asymmetricaly bent shoulders. Perhaps I had to hold my shoulders in that position in order to offset the weight of the ginormous chandelier earrings?

My friend Murphy

2009-03-23T12:12:00.003-05:00

Background:
Until this year, I had two school schedules to navigate...Forrest's Sumner County schedule and Hannah and Sophie's private-school-loosely-based-on-Metro's schedule. Sumner county and Metro rarely have spring break at the same time. In fact it has only happened 3 times in the past 8 years. 2003, 2005 and 2008.

Technically, we are supposed to have Hannah and Sophie every other spring break...but if their spring break and Forrest's spring break fall at different times, we let their other mom have them. If it works out that everyone is on break at the same time, we take a mini-trip with the kids. In 2003 we went to St. Louis, in 2005 we went to Florida and last year we went back to St. Louis.

This year we moved to three schedules, Hannah and Sophie on their Metro-ish schedule, Chloe and Cammie on the Sumner county schedule and Forrest on JPII's-we-make-our-own-schedule-that-has-absolutely-nothing-to-do-with-either-one-of-the-other's schedule.

A few months ago I wrote the words "spring break" on my calendar...from March 16th through March 21st. I talk to "D" (other mom) and we decided to split spring break this year.

Timeline:
March 9 (Monday): Mark and I return from Vienna.
We find out that Cammie didn't feel well and had missed school.

March 10 (Tuesday): Cammie and Chloe both say they feel bad (we think that they may just
want to stay home because they missed us).
By lunch time they both have fevers.

March 11 (Wednesday): Both girls still have fevers.

March 12 (Thursday): Both girls still have fevers but they are considerably lower.
I check my calendar and see SPRING BREAK written in big letters.
I call Mark and ask if he would like me to check on last minute deals for a cabin in
Gatlinburg. He says yes.
I find a great deal on a great cabin and book it for Sunday through Tuesday.
Two hours later I am on the phone with Rachel and I tell her about the great deal
I found and how we are leaving right after church on Sunday.

Rachel: "You do know that it's not spring break, right"? she asks slowly.
Me: (thinking that she is talking about the current week we are in since my kids have
missed so much of it)..."Oh, I know, that's next week".

*crickets chirping*

Rachel: (more slowly than last time) "Nooooo. Tomorrow is teacher's in-service. They have
school on Monday, spring break is around Easter".

Me: silence... followed by "Oops".

Did I mention that there is a no-refund policy on last-minute cabin rentals?

I tell Mark and we decide that since the girls have only missed a few days this week and two days in November that we will go ahead with our plans to go to Gatlinburg...what's the harm in missing two more days?

March 13 (Friday): Teacher's In-Service, No School
Both girls are fever free.

March 14 (Saturday): Everyone feels fine.

March 15 (Sunday): Everyone feels fine.
Drive to Gatlinburg after morning service.

March 16 (Monday): Everyone feels fine. Have a great day hanging out together.

March 17 (Tuesday): My friend Murphy comes to visit. You know Murphy right? As in
Murphy's Law.

Chloe wakes up and promptly pukes.
On the drive home Cammie comes down with a high fever.

March 18 (Wednesday): Both girls have fevers.

March 19 (Thursday): Both girls have fevers.
Go to doctor, both have some sort of viral "thing".

March 20 (Friday): Chloe wakes up better but can't go to school until she has been fever free
for 24 hours...it has been less than 12.

Cammie still has a fever.

March 21 (Saturday): Both are fine and fever free.

March 22 (Sunday): Chloe is fine...Cammie has a fever after lunch. She has developed a
sinus infection.

March 23 (Monday): Chloe is finally back in school.
Cammie is at home fighting off a sinus infection.

This is what my friend Murphy taught me:

Planning a trip when your kids have "only missed a few days"...could turn into one of them missing 8 days in a row and the other missing 9 and counting.

One blonde moment while filling out the calendar and I am well on my way to being turned into the police for a truancy violation.

New things...

2009-03-20T20:24:00.007-05:00

1. Obviously the background on the blog has changed. I realize that it is a little on the feminine side, but I like it...except for those little round things that I assume are meant to resemble brads, those I could do without.

2. We went to Gatlinburg for a mini-spring break trip with the kids. Funny story...coming tomorrow. The "new" thing is this:

You may be wondering why I consider a pot of Taco Soup a "new thing"...then again you may not be, either way, I'll tell ya'. This picture of taco soup represents eight years of vacations and good intentions.

Just about every vacation we have ever gone on (especially the ones with kids) we (meaning "I") have made plans to cook meals in our room/cabin/campground. Plans that included a menu, the purchasing of provisions, and cutting down on the costs of our trip. Every single time we have fell victim to the "we're on vacation, why should we cook and clean up...what kind of vacation is that???" mentality.

Camping at Land Between the Lakes? Hot dogs on the grill, baked beans and s'mores? How about ditching the tent and heading to Miss. Patty's for pork chops instead??!!

St. George Island, Florida where there are only two restaurants? Spaghetti and garlic bread in the kitchen? Ooohhh...I think I remember seeing a seafood restaurant on the drive-in...it's only 45 minutes away, why not??!!

Holiday World? Cereal bars in the room for breakfast? We could eat a real breakfast at the Denny's next door instead!!

And that is a brief history of our cooking on vacations saga.

Until this time.

We planned on eating four meals in the cabin...and we did!!! We ate dinner (spaghetti, garlic bread, brownies) in the cabin on Sunday night after we arrived. Mark made pancakes and bacon for breakfast on Monday, we had grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch and then, taco soup for dinner that night.

*sniff* I am so proud of us *sniff, sniff*

3. I have been thinking about posting more often. Really, I have. And not only because my sister, Amy, and various others (you know who you are)...have been requesting that I (nagging me to)update more regularly.

In a previous post I covered the issues that hinder my posting process. Annnd I am fairly certain that we have established that I have OCD. The good thing about OCD is that it positively thrives on "themes". So, I thought if, maybe, I came up with a few (somewhat corny) themes for certain days of the week...perhaps it would help me to post more than once or twice a month.

Obviously I like the "random" lists, so I plan on doing one of those each week. That "theme" doesn't strike me as too corny.

So, are you ready for the corny one?

I'm thinking that "Way Back Wednesday" could be fun.

What is "Way Back Wednesday"?

Well, obviously it will take place on...you guessed it...Wednesday. Annnnd it will feature pictures.

What kind of pictures?

Pictures like this:

Me, age 3... getting a bear hug from Billy Bob. Surely you know who Billy Bob is. Showbiz Pizza's Rock-afire Rockstar, that's who. Until that silly mouse known as "Chuck E. Cheese" came along, it was all Billy, all the time.

And there will be pictures like this:

Me. Circa 1982. Clutching my E.T. doll that Santa had brought me. See those hard, plastic eyeballs on E.T.'s big, misshapen head? Well one of them melted and...It.Traumatized.Me.

Seriously. To this day, I can't think about E.T. without picturing his little melty eyeball.

Do you see that look of woe on my face? Deep down, I must have known that his demise was imminent. One day, I left him lying on the living room floor...and the floor heater turned on (you can find a pic of an old floor heater here). I found him with his little eyeball melted into a stringy, plastic mess of a puddle. Sad day.

And, sometimes there will be pictures like this:

Forrest. Age 2 and a half. Rockin' the ninja costume...except for the work boots. What was I thinking? Ninjas do not wear work boots. Poor kid. (Obviously my OCD had not kicked in at this stage in my life. Because now? There is NO way I would let my ninja out of the house wearing work boots. I would color those puppies black with a sharpie if necessary).

And that's all I've got for tonight. You may be wishing that I had stuck with bi-monthly posts before this is all over with.

Touching base...

2009-03-11T21:15:00.003-05:00

1. Vienna was fabulous! Pictures and details coming soon.

2. Cammie has added more to our ongoing birds-and-bees discussion...those details too, shall follow.

3. Forrest has a girlfriend and they are going to a youth service and fellowship this weekend. Together. In the same car. Lord, help me. BUT, it is our car and we are going too...a nice old-fashioned "family date". We like the "make sure a bible can fit between you when you sit together" way of thinking. Fortunately our truck has captain's seats...so there is a nice wide aisle between them.

4. I know I am way behind on the photo blog. I know. It is causing me much woe. Oh, no. Ummm...is that tacky poem helping to distract you from the fact that I am way behind on the photo blog? The good news is...I have taken the pictures, I have a list, I am going to update...tomorrow! Fo' real.

5. I have a great life, and I am so thankful for it. It's something I think about on a regular basis, but I don't say it often enough. Life, is truly good.

Somehow I missed a week...

2009-02-20T16:45:00.006-06:00

of Randomness posting...so in order to make up for it, today's list of Randomness will be longer than the previous Random lists...

1. I heart Facebook. In the beginning, I did not heart Facebook. It brought back some serious high school angst issues. Umm...wait, in high school I was to involved in recreational activities to actually care what anyone thought...let's make that junior high. Yes, it brought back junior high angst issues. So, in the first weeks of joining, I didn't send out any friend requests for fear of being rejected...it felt sort of like asking one of the girls with the perfectly tight-rolled jeans, two pair of co-ordinating scrunch socks stuffed into a pair of Eastlands with the curly-q laces and requisite 10 inch bouffant if you could sit in the vacant seat next to her at the popular girl table only to have her roll her eyes and say "what-evvver". I cringe just thinking about it.

Instead, I was content to let my little inbox fill with requests from people. People that had I been asked, I would have been sure couldn't care less about status updates that informed them that "Destry is..(insert silly activity/ thought/ emotion)....".

I love looking at pictures of people from high school and middle school and seeing how their lives have turned out. I'm also fairly certain that more than one person has been surprised to check out my profile and find that not only am I off drugs and loving Jesus, but that I am also a Republican. (Honestly, I'm not sure which of the three have caused the most head-scratching).

2. Cammie has figured out that there is more to this whole "how do babies get in your tummy" thing than we are telling her. Her last question was "how do babies get out of your booty"? "Jesus helps the doctor...and ummm...it's not the booty" was not a sufficient answer. "What do you mean it's not the booty" she asked. "Errmm, umm well, it's the tooty, not the booty" I answer. Followed by a quick "Are you thirsty, do you want some Coke"?

Cammie does not fall to diversionary tactics that easily. When I offered up Coke near bed time, she recognized that I was trying to get out of the conversation. She said "No, it's almost bedtime, I can't have Coke. How does Jesus help the doctor get the baby out of the TOOTY"?

I know that I need to sit down and draw diagrams and use appropriate terminology. For some reason I am not ready to use the big "V"-rhymes-with-angIna-word with the 5 year old. So, I did what any other "V" word phobic mother would do and said "Jesus helps the doctor study in college to know how to help the baby come out. I've never studied to be a doctor so I'm not sure how that works. Are you sure you don't want some Coke"?

To which she replied "Oh, so you don't know. Maybe the baby does come out the booty and not the tooty. I'll ask the doctor. Can I have a BIG glass of Coke"?

Needless to say, I am summoning my inner OB/GYN to talk with her the next time she asks. In the meantime, I gave her a big glass of Coke.

3. How many electrical outlet adapter thingies should I take to Austria? This question has been causing me some serious insomnia.

4. No, I am not going to the place "that has all the kangaroos" nor am I going to the place "where you have to get around by boat". The first would be AUSTRALIA and the second would be VENICE. We are going to Vienna, Austria. You know, that place that Mozart and Beethoven hung out.

5. February has been almost as boring as January. I am reminding myself that the kids will be out of school in three short months and I will be longing for some "down time"...and trying to make the most of it while I have it.

And there you have it... more randomness. Now, this list only had 5 things, but the first two were long. I hope that counts as a "longer" list of randomness.

Random is good...

2009-01-31T23:46:00.005-06:00

1. I like theses random posts. They are so liberating...no pressure to format amusing sentences into proper paragraphs. Yes, random is good. (It is especially good in that it allows me to post at least once a week...which allows me to avoid the "why don't you update your blog more often" question from my sister).

2. My husband is watching an incredibly dumb movie right now. I have spent the past hour and a half of my life perusing facebook while trying to avoid losing brain cells to his dumb movie.

3. Winston will celebrate his 1st birthday tomorrow. He weighs 160 pounds. I am so glad that none of my children weighed 160 pounds on their first birthday.

4. The sun was shining bright today...evidently sunshine motivates me...I completed 8 loads of laundry.

5. Forrest currently has all A's and B's...for the first time since the 3rd grade. Don't worry, I'm not holding my breath to see if this lasts until report card day. Instead, I am basking in the glory of being the parent of a studious child for the entire day and half that I am able. It makes me want to buy one of those "My child is on the Honor Roll" bumper stickers. Knowing that Monday would see me with a sharpie in hand adding "not" between "is" and "on" has prevented me from doing so.

6. One of my favorite things about owning a handgun is that I am now able to say things like "If you keep on naggin' me to cook dinner I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' butt". Unfortunately Mark is a better shot. Fortunately he hasn't used his gun to threaten me into cooking dinner.

7. I wonder how much weight I can lose before our trip in 5 weeks. I plan on going Richard Simmons crazy from now until then to find out.

8. Speaking of our trip...I have entirely too much to do between now and then.

9. Somehow I have managed to keep the 2009 photo blog up to date for the month of January...hold your applause.

10. I am going to bed now. I know better than to stay up this late on a Saturday night...I'm such a rebel.

10 Random Things...

2009-01-23T12:37:00.004-06:00

1. January is boring. I love January.

2. Our backyard finally dried out. It's supposed to rain tonight. Go figure.

3. I have lost two more pounds. Down 14 total.

4. I am on "G" in the Sue Grafton series. (See number 1 above).

5. Pedicures in the winter are better than pedicures in the summer. Who knew?

6. The 2009 photo blog is caught up.

7. The laundry is not.

8. My little husband has to go to Vienna, Austria for a conference. I get to tag along.

9. Forrest gets his driving permit in 5 weeks. I'm afraid to call the insurance company...

10. Sorry that this is a rather boring list. (See number 1 above).

Weather and weight loss...

2009-01-14T14:46:00.003-06:00

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I say things like "it's hard to get into Christmas mode when it's 65 degrees outside" and "I wish we would get 4 or 5 inches of snow". I am perfectly happy with cold weather and overcast skies...until New Year's Day.

In my land Spring should occur on January 1. While I know that Winter didn't even officially start until December 20th, it still feels like we should be ushering in sunshine and warmth along with the new year. What's the point in cold weather after the holidays are over? Don't you have that sense that once January arrives "Spring is just around the corner" rather than "Spring is months away". Seriously, when I wake up on January 14th and the temperature outside is 18 degrees, I am momentarily surprised and I feel just a little disgruntled that the warm weather I keep expecting has been kept from me for yet another day. March 20th seems so very far away. Sometimes I rebel by not wearing a coat...ha! Take that Winter! Never mind that I'm the one freezing to death.

Weight loss can be a bit like that for me too.

If I have eaten well for two weeks. And if I've done an hour of cardio plus strength training five days a week for those two weeks. And if I've drank so many bottles of Dasani water that I start to feel guilty about the amount of plastic I am shipping off to the landfill...it seems like on day 15 I should wake up skinny. Right? So when I step on the scale and see that I've only lost 12 pounds, I am momentarily surprised and I fell a whole lot more than a little disgruntled. My goal seems so far away and in the past, this has caused me to rebel...by say eating a Quarter Pounder and washing it down with a large sweet tea with no ice. Fortunately, I realized that I was sabotaging myself...not exacting revenge on my scale for reflecting a frustrating number and I decided to change my rebellious ways.

Hopefully March 20th will bring a much lower number on the scale along with the sunshine and warm weather.

Wherein Cammie asks another loaded question...

2009-01-08T13:39:00.006-06:00

On our way to church we pass a certain restaurant on Two Mile Pk (Two Mile Pk was actually changed to Rivergate Parkway a few years ago... I happen to think that it is wrong to rename a road that has a perfectly good name to begin with...and, if you have lived 28 years calling it one name, it is rather difficult to adapt to the new name...thus ensuring that when a newcomer says "it's on Rivergate Parkway" you fix them with a blank stare and search about your brain trying to get a mental image of "Rivergate Parkway" all the while wondering how said newcomer knows about a street that you don't and you have lived here all of you life...until recognition finally shakes something loose in your brain and your blank look is replaced by a knowing look and with a smile you say "oh, you mean Two Mile Pk")...anyhoo...we pass a certain eating/drinking establishment on our way to church.

This establishment is tucked under the 65N overpass and it's set back a bit from the road. The building is sided by tall lengths of grey paneling and honestly, it appears more than a little drab. In the last couple of years, it looks like the owners tried to spruce the place up by erecting day-glo orange palm trees out front and stringing large globe Christmas lights around the perimeter. On Saturday afternoons it is the home of biker rallies.

Let me begin this next part by saying that we eat out on a regular basis...and by regular I mean entirely too much. I would be embarrassed to tell you how many meals a week we eat out. (This is where I mention that I have cooked the last three nights in a row and have dinner simmering in the crockpot for tonight...working on that whole "better" wife, mother Destry thing). Our kids are accustomed to trying out new restaurants. They know where all of the good (decent would be a better word) places to eat in Rivergate/Goodlettsville are...and they know that if a new restaurant opens, we will inevitably check it out. With all of that I mind, I'm actually surprised that the following conversation hasn't occurred before now...

Scene: Mark, Forrest, Chloe, Cammie and I on the way to mid-week service last night. Mark and I are chatting about something that happened at his work, the kids are actually being quiet for a moment. We drive under the 65N overpass and Cammie pipes up...

Cammie: "Why don't we ever eat there"?

Me: (absently because I am in the middle of an actual "grown-up"conversation" for the first time in hours) "Where, baby"?

Cammie: "That place with the orange trees".

As I am swiveling to see where she is pointing, realization strikes me just before my eyes land on the sign with the little owl mascot.

Me: "Which place"? I ask, stalling as I cast about for an answer.

Chloe has a keen interest in trying out new restaurants and she joins in the conversation..."That place over there with the orange trees and the owl on the sign".

Forrest: snickering in the third row seat..."Yeah, why don't we ever eat there"?

I take this moment to jab Mark with my elbow...a gesture that asks the question why do I always have to answer the hard questions? He gives me a deer-in-the-headlights look and murmurs, an "Uhhh"...

Me: "Well, Cammie, we don't eat there because the waitresses don't wear enough clothes".

Forrest: "Way to be honest mom"...still snickering...

Chloe who is offended by public displays of flesh (you should hear her when she spots someone mowing the lawn sans shirt) says "Ewww, that's disgusting. In a restaurant"?

Cammie: "Oh, so that's why we don't go there".

I think the conversation is over. I am wrong. Two seconds later...

Cammie: "Have you and Daddy ever eaten there"?

Mark and I exchange a glance, Forrest's snickering is now an official laugh...

Me: "Yes, we have".

Cammie in a jubilant voice says: "I knew it"! Then after a pause, "You ate there before I was born, right"?

Me: "Yes, before you born".

Cammie: "When I was in your tummy"? Perhaps she is thinking this would count as her eating there as well, something that would inevitably be used to taunt her sister.

Me: "No, not while you were in my tummy".

Mark and I are giggling by this point. I reach over and turn the radio up a few notches louder in order to discourage further conversation about dining at H00ters. I don't think explaining that it's the only place that you can get Buffalo Shrimp would have helped the situation.

New Year...

2009-01-01T14:19:00.002-06:00

Last year my One Little Word was "discipline"... let's examine how that worked out...

-I wanted to be more disciplined with diet and exercise. I am happy to report that I lost a total of 152 pounds in 2008. The only problem...well, I also happened to gain 151 pounds in 2008. So, as I sit and type this I am down 1 pound from the same day last year.

-Another area that I wanted to be more disciplined in was bible reading and prayer. While I did read and pray more in 2008 than I did in 2007...it wasn't nearly enough for me to consider myself disciplined about it.

-My photo blog is also something that required discipline...and we all know how well that worked out. I am currently behind by a month and a half.

Discipline was obviously not the word for me. I'm not sure what my new word will be for 2009.
I do know that I have been going to the gym for the last month and I have lost 10 pounds and that I have more stamina than I did at this time last year.

Even though I haven't prayed as much as I should or invested as much time in the word of God as I should...I am thankful that His mercies are new EVERY DAY. Today can be the start of a renewed commitment.

While I haven't been consistent with posting the pictures on the photo blog, I have taken them and have a list so that I can catch it up...and I AM going to catch it up. My OCD says that I have already messed it up...but you know what... I don't really care. It's my photo blog and I want to be able to print the pictures and have a record of our 2008. AND furthermore...I am going to give it another try. Look for a link later today. The original photo blog will be updated within the hour with another installment of catch up photos.

I love January. It always seems full of hope and promise. A clean slate and another chance to be different...to be better. Maybe that will be my word...better. Not disciplined, not perfect, but better.

More random things...

2008-12-13T22:35:00.004-06:00

Good news: I am finished with my Christmas shopping.

Bad news: I have wrapped a total of ZERO presents.

Bad news: I ended up buying the kids 5 gifts each (as opposed to the 3 I had planned on).

Good news: Mark says that the Christmas PJs the kids open on Christmas Eve and books do not count towards their total... meaning I stuck to my 3 gift per kid resolution.

Good news: My December Daily album is coming along nicely and I am excited about the way it is turning out.

Bad news: The photo blog is still behind.

Good news: There are 18 days left in December and I am confident that I will have it caught up by December 31st.

Bad news: That means I am going to have to GET WITH IT already...sheesh.

Good news: I have been going to the gym on a regular basis.

Bad news: No Carbs = No Fun (but it also = weight loss...so it's not all bad news)

In the week ahead I plan on:

-wrapping ALL of the gifts
-catching up the photo blog
-going to the gym 5 times
-reading the kids at least 4 of their Christmas books
-reading the Christmas story through at least twice
-having lunch with a friend from middle school/high school that found me on facebook
-thinking about getting a massage
-taking a nap at least once

A few things...

2008-12-02T13:31:00.002-06:00

-I summoned the courage to start working out with my trainer again. I thought she loved me for coming back to my senses and getting back on the wagon again... I thought that until she made me do the bench lunges yesterday... I can barely walk up the stairs today...fortunately the girls are home for a *snow day* thus enabling me to say things like "Cammie...can you bring mommy the phone off of her nightstand"? and "Chloe, get the laundry out of my closet and toss it down the stairs to me".

-Did I mention that the girls are out for a *snow day*. There is nary a flake to be found...yet school was cancelled. What is that about?

-When we moved into this house, my little husband promised that he would hang icicle lights EVERY December. The first December he tried...truly, he did. I was so thankful that he didn't fall off the roof (we didn't have nearly enough life insurance) (just kidding), I tried really hard not to complain about the string of lights that were not attached to the highest peaked eave...instead they were tossed across the eave to the other side of the peak where he could actually reach. Really, I tried.

Evidently I didn't try hard enough because the past three December there have been no festive, twinkling lights attached to any eave...much less the highest peaked eave.

Ever indulgent man that he is, this year he suggested that we hang lit wreathes in each of the windows. I love that man. And I love the lit wreathes.

-I am going to update the photo blog (the first installment of catch up photos will be posted tonight). I know, I know...it is waaaaaayyyyyy behind...and I apologize that you have been forced to view the same picture of my ironing board since October 13th. If I had known that I was going to fall off the photo blog wagon, I would have fallen right after I posted a picture of my two adorable doggies...but I didn't plan on falling off...and so you have the ironing board picture instead. (Nathan, I promise I am going to catch it up completely this week...and stay up to date through the end of the year. I promise).

-It is December 2nd and except for my mom's present and Mark's gift, I am FINISHED with my Christmas shopping!

-Lastly, have I mentioned that Cammie is going to be an Olympic gymnast one day? Last night she received her first medal...not an Olympic medal, but a medal nonetheless. How many 5 year old kids can vault? I may be a bit partial...but seriously, she rocks!

I remembered something else...

2008-11-25T22:04:00.002-06:00

I think the first time this happened I was 14 or so.

Scene: Grandma's kitchen table...eating her tasty spaghetti...

Me: "Grandma, you make the best spaghetti"!

Grandma: (smiling sweetly) "You're just sayin' that 'cause it's true".

Hmmm...I guess she's also directly responsible for my humble spirit...

Most of the time, when given a compliment she would simply say "thank you"...but every once in a while, she would throw out that phrase and it would just crack me up.

I really, really love my Grandma.

My Grandma...

2008-11-21T18:52:00.004-06:00

Priscilla Rosalee Sinor

June 9, 1929 – November 14, 2008

May I tell you some things I know?

-she is the only person on the planet that has loved me completely and without conditions

-she is responsible for anything good within me

-she drank instant coffee, 3 cups every single day…with 2% milk and lots of sugar, she would pour some into her saucer to cool it off and then let me drink it…she is directly responsible for my Starbucks problem

-she was a bartender for over 20 years and she was the best (a fact that even though I don’t drink any more, I still think is cool)

-Grandma would buy my friend Carrie and I a whole watermelon, cut it in half and then let us eat the entire thing for breakfast…with a shaker of salt of course

-when she first came to Tennessee from Alaska at the age of 15 she had never seen a watermelon before, much less tasted one…upon her first introduction, she ate the entire slice…rind and all

-she was born in Valdez, Alaska…her mother was a full-blooded Aleutian Indian

-she taught me to use an eyebrow pencil to compensate for my lack of furrow

-rarely did she tell me “no” (I suppose she is directly responsible for spoiling me)

-however, she did slap me once, I was 7 and I took the Lord’s name in vain…I didn’t do it again

-she painted my room lavender when I was 6

-just about every single weekend from the time I was 2 until I was 14 was spent at my Grandma’s house (had I spent every weekend from 14 – 21 at her house, perhaps I would have avoided many a mistake)

-she wrote her grocery list on the back of junk mail envelopes…how I wish I had saved one of those lists…I can see her scrawled handwriting…milk, alka seltzer, hamburger...

-the first time she let me order a Big Mac instead of a happy meal (she always had an apple pie for herself)

-Faygo root beer in the fridge

-hours and hours at “rummage” sales and flea markets in search of long, dangly earrings for her to wear to work

-a pair of earrings that looked like a deck of cards and had individual cards hanging down

-the smell of Aqua-Net hairspray and White Diamonds perfume as she got ready for work

-Kmart…every Saturday…where I would get a coloring book, sketch pad, or book…but ALWAYS an Icee

-circus peanuts (that orange marshmallow-y candy)

-her spaghetti, stuffed bell peppers, banana pudding, toast and gravy, and of course apple cake

-shipments of fresh Halibut, smoked salmon and king crab that would follow her home from trips to Alaska…she let me have as much smoked salmon as I wanted…even though it was expensive

-the month that I spent with her, my papaw and my cousin Chad in Alaska…visiting family and seeing exactly where we come from

-our weekend routine: she would pick me up right after I got home from school, we would go to her house (I can still picture the route we took from one point to the next), she would cook dinner and I would help, she would watch the 5 o’clock news while resting on the couch, then she would take a bath (never a shower) and get ready for work, Papaw would come home, we would eat, she would go to work, Papaw would take me to rent a movie or to a a basketball game, we’d watch tv, around 3:30 am she would come home from work…sometimes with friend’s from work whose laughter would wake me up…and she would fix a big breakfast and let me stay up to eat too…then back to bed for both of us. on Saturday I would wake up and eat cereal…usually puffed oats or rice krispies…and watch cartoons (90 minutes of the smurfs, followed by Scooby doo) at 11 she would wake up, fix her coffee, read the paper…passing me the comics, we would then get dressed and head to kmart , flea markets and garage sales (my papaw would fill her tank up with gas before he left for work…she never learned how to pump gas)…after kmart the evening would go exactly like the evening before

-she always smiled

-my papaw would pat her rump and she would swat his hand away and say “Oh quit that”…but she would always grin... so I knew she liked the attention

-she told me that I was smart…and I believed her

-her kitchen was decorated with ducks for a very long time

-the duck phase gave way to the Campbell’s soup phase

-she would take me to Cedar Hill park (before it was a pervert magnet) and let me feed the ducks…if she didn’t have any stale bread she would take me to bi-rite and buy me a loaf to feed them

-she let me play in the creek behind her house for hours

-she smoked Winston cigarettes

-she would buy me candy cigarettes and “light” them for me with her lighter (this was before we knew how bad cigarettes were for your health…I think)

-due to said smoking she had a cough and when we would get separated in a store I would listen for her cough in order to find her again

-she really liked Lifetime movies on Sunday night

-she let my papaw name all of their male collies (and there were at least 4) Vandy…all female collies (and there were at least 2 of those) Lady

-Red Lobster was her favorite restaurant

-once when I was 10 she let me wash her car to earn spending money…I thought that it would be a good idea to squirt the hood with Windex and let it soak in…she didn’t yell at me when she realized that I had stripped the paint off of her car…she was nice like that

-she let me choose the radio station every single time we went out

-she let me use her good silverware and dishes to make countless mud pies…and then she would pretend to eat them

-she hosted family dinners every single month for everyone that had a birthday that month

-chocolate pie is definitely a dinner substitute

-she hugged me…a lot

-she teased me…a lot…(in that good way that let’s you know you’re loved)

-strays were always welcome (her affectionate term for anyone without family close by that spent the holidays with us)

-if it couldn’t be bought at bi-rite, we didn’t need to eat it

-I was her favorite…until I had Forrest and then he usurped me…I’ve never forgiven him for that
-every once in awhile she would take me to work with her…before we knew that bars were bad for children…and the band would let me request songs and she would let me dance on the dance floor and give me all of the Shirley Temples I could drink…then she would take a break and put me to bed in the linen room…she would tuck me with table cloths as my blankets and I knew that I was the luckiest little girl in the world

-she is and was my hero

-One thing I don’t know though…is how to live with out her.

Lest you doubt that I'm a natural blonde...

2008-11-10T19:02:00.004-06:00

I present the following as further evidence...

Today, as I am hurrying around the house, trying to straighten up and start laundry and squeeze in a Publix run before picking up Forrest...Rachel called to go over important Brownie business...and to clarify carpool plans for the afternoon.

As we talk I corral the horses...er...I mean dogs, grab my purse and bottle of water (on the wagon for the 472nd time), I kicked the laundry room door shut and hopped in my truck. We are still chatting as I press the button to close the garage door, back out of the drive and head up the street.

I am a block away from my house when the line goes fuzzy. "Hmm...must have dropped the call" I think to myself. I look down to see what the screen on my cell phone says...and find that I am not on the cell phone, I am on the cordless phone.

Nice.

Whew...

2008-11-06T10:13:00.002-06:00

Elections are over and what's done, is done. I'm just glad that other important things can occupy my thoughts (until the end of January at least). No more Obama-infomercials and I think it is safe to say that the word "maverick" will be out of circulation...those two things alone are cause for celebration.

Now I can think on things more pressing. Things like Christmas.

We have decided to scale gift giving way back this year. When I first started thinking about revising our 10-15 gifts per child tradition, I was in the midst of cleaning out the cubbies in the playroom. I had stumbled across two Christmas gifts still in their packaging. Two gifts that were stuffed into the darkest corner of the entertainment center and promptly forgotten. This was towards the end of March.

As I carried the toys to the laundry room and stacked them in with the other Goodwill donations, I had the fleeting thought "next Christmas will be different, obviously they don't need all of this stuff". I didn't think about it too long though, it was March after all.

Then came June. Cammie turned 5 in June. All that she could think of for her birthday present wish list was a new bike and Webkinz.

July followed with Sophie's 8th birthday. Again, a new bike and Webkinz were the only things on her list.

Hannah turned 11 in August. She hadn't outgrown her bike and so the only thing on her list were more Webkinz. After a few weeks of prodding, she said that "she guessed she could use a new purse".

In September, I began asking everyone what they wanted for Christmas. None of the girls could think of anything.

So, this year they will all be receiving 3 gifts each... two from Mark and I and one from Santa. I was expecting some protest from the kids just on principle. Instead they said "okay, we don't really need anything anyway". And, that seems to be holding true.

Forrest has two things on his list...a new skateboard deck and a PS3 game. Chloe and Sophie want an American Girl doll and Webkinz and Cammie would like a Gamboy and Webkinz. Hannah wants Webkinz and "maybe something else". They realize that they have enough and that amazes me.

Mark is still not convinced that I can hold to the 3 gift limit...but I just can't buy them toys just for the sake of spending money. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Election Day '08

2008-11-04T15:23:00.002-06:00

Random thoughts...voted last week...people in line kept to themselves, no chatting with strangers like in elections past...sad that we are a country so DIVIDED...wondering what ever happened to ONE nation UNDER GOD...hoping that the speculations about riots are just hype...thinking that it's crazy that as Americans we are even considering the possibility of riots...hoping that our taxes don't shoot through the freakin' roof too terribly soon...feeling excited and anxious...wondering what the history books will say about this election in 20 years...glad that it will be OVER soon and what will be will be...fighting the urge to stock pile food and antibiotics...reminding myself that God already knows what tomorrow (and every day after that) will bring...wondering how long the accusations of voter fraud and recounting of votes will go on...wishing I knew how to explain things like abortion and taxes and religious freedoms to my 5 and 7 year old because they keep asking me why I am voting for the guy I am voting for...reminding myself that there will be another election in four years and that the damage done until then won't be past rectifying...hoping that we will remain America the FREE...wondering what HOPE and CHANGE really mean to those that will hold power over us all...

Overheard...

2008-10-23T19:04:00.004-05:00

Conversation #1:

Scene: In the truck...on the way home from school.

Cammie: "See that tree over there".

Chloe: "Which one"?

Cammie: "That one with no leaves".

Chloe: "Yes".

Cammie: "If it has no leaves, that means it's BARE. BARE means no leaves on the branches. You can't call a tree with no leaves a naked butt because that would hurt it's feelings".

Conversation #2:

Scene: Chloe coughing as she reads aloud to me while I check my email. Cammie stands next to Chloe looking at the pictures in her book.

Chloe: cough-cough "I need some cough drops, I've been coughing alot".

Cammie: buuuuurrrrrrrrpppppp!!!! "I need some burp drops, I've been burping alot".

The tally...

2008-10-08T16:59:00.003-05:00

In order to make a decidedly dull "town hall" debate a little more bearable to watch, I hit the pause button (I heart Tivo) after the first five minutes,and sought out a pencil and a piece of paper.

I am happy to report that John McCain did not use the word "maverick" one single time. It would appear that his advisers got the memo to drop the over used title. Unfortunately, it was replaced by "reformer"...which was used five times. The bright side to that is that we now know that someone on his campaign staff owns a thesaurus.

Hopefully, that same someone will look up an alternative to "my friends". I lost count at 162.

As for Obama...well evidently some one told him that his lead in the polls widened by a percentage point every time he used the terms "Bush administration" and "the last 8 years"...and so, despite the fact that he is NOT running against the 8 year Bush administration, he managed to use those terms a minimum of 11 times.

I guess my main problem with this whole election is that I can't get behind either candidate 100%... Instead of voting for McCain, I find that I am voting against Obama. Honestly, I don't believe that either candidate will make this country a better place...

I would hereby like to make a motion

2008-10-03T16:59:00.002-05:00

to forbid the use of certain terms for the remainder of the Presidential Campaign Season.

Term One: "Bush Administration"
Senators Biden and Obama...please, refrain from using the words "Bush Administration". It appears that you have failed to notice that you are in fact running against Senator McCain and Governor Palin. Say it with me..."We are not running against George Bush, we are running against John McCain and Sarah Palin".

Term Two: "Maverick"
Senator McCain and Governor Palin...please, refrain from referring to yourselves as "Mavericks"...surely there is a synonym or two out there for you to grab onto. Find a thesaurus and a new buzz word. Seriously, the word has been used so much it has lost it's meaning.

Term Three: "Change"
All four of you... unless you can detail what your idea of "change" is, give the word a rest. Obviously "change is a'comin"...Bush isn't eligible for re-election. The presidency is going to "change hands"...tell us what "change" means to you, or quit stating the obvious.

And that is all I have to say about that.

Some random things...

2008-10-02T10:43:00.002-05:00

because I haven't posted in a few weeks and I know how irritating it is to click over to someones blog day after day and find the same post that you found the day before...

-I have cooked two nights in a row this week...tonight will be night three. I am really trying to cook more often...and I know I have said that before...and I can pretty much guarantee that I will say it again...but hey, three nights is better than no nights...right?

-My truck was super-funk-nasty-dirty. Mark and I are going to Catalyst in Atlanta next week and some friends from church are riding down with us. The amount of cleaning my truck is in need of is far beyond my abilities. When the nice little detail guy looked at it to give me an estimate, he "tsk-tsked" and said that it was a "two-dayer"...and that "no, I couldn't let friends ride in it"...he'd "clean it so that I wouldn't have to rent a car". Thanks.

He also said that he could repair the 8" gash in my front bumper. A gash that has been marring the beauty of my lovely truck since the 7th day I owned it...a gash that was inflicted by WashMasters in Rivergate...side note...NEVER take your vehicle to WashMasters. I had said those same words to my well-meaning husband...I said "NEVER go through WashMasters...they have a history of damaging cars and not fixing them"...and he forgot that I said "NEVER go through WashMasters"... and in that moment of forgetfulness, he decided to be nice and have have my truck washed for me...and my truck entered the wash perfect and unblemished and emerged scarred and worn.

The detail guy also said that he could fix the spot where I had had an altercation with a yellow pole in the Starbucks drive-thru. No one warned me about the yellow pole in the Starbucks drive-thru.

-Winston is getting HUGE. He is 8 months old today and he weighs a little under 100 pounds. Oh how I love this doggie. His sister will be joining us in 10 days...I can't wait.

-Speaking of things that I can't wait for...I can't wait to watch the debate tonight. This election is so important...I urge everyone to read up on the candidates (specifically, read about their voting history in the Senate) make an INFORMED decision, and most importantly VOTE!

-I love Fall. More than I love Fall, I love napping in the fall. Actually, I just love napping...but napping is better in the Fall.

While, I know that this has been a rather bland post...but it beats the same page again...right?

I think that...

2008-09-19T19:50:00.004-05:00

most parents want their children to dream big...set their goals high...aim to achieve more than they themselves achieved. Am I right?

Seriously, don't we want the best for our kids? A good education, followed by a rewarding career, a nice home and a happy family?

Bearing that in mind, you will understand why I found the following conversation perplexing...

On the way to church we pass Mason's Motel and Restaurant. The motel has been converted to pay-by-the-week apartments. For years, the sign has read:

Mason's
Motel and
Restaurant

As of last week, the "Motel and" part have been covered with a banner that simply says "Efficiency".

Forrest: "What do they mean by "efficiency"?

Me: " They no longer rent rooms by the night, they rent them by the week".

Forrest: "Like an apartment except you pay week-to-week instead of month-to-month"?

Me: "Yes, exactly".

Forrest: "Hmmm...I'll have to keep that in mind".

Me: "Keep what in mind"?

Forrest: "You know, as an option for when I graduate".

That's right son, dream big.

Today I am...

2008-09-12T11:45:00.006-05:00

celebrating the first anniversary of my 30th birthday. (Which sounds so much better than "today I am officially in my thirties").

Sarah and I have birthdays two and a half weeks apart. We've always said that we would celebrate our 30th birthdays together somewhere fabulous. Last year when we realized that we couldn't work out our schedules to actually make that happen, we began planning for our 1st anniversary trip.

And (yes, I know that it's not proper grammar to begin a sentence with the word "and") that is where we are now. Lazing about in our hotel room in New York City. Napping and reading.

In an hour or so, we'll begin getting ready for an early dinner and afterwards, we'll be seeing WICKED on Broadway. Have I said that my birthday is my favorite holiday?

My other birthday present is this...

We haven't named her yet. The breeder that we adopted Winston from called a few weeks ago to let us know that her dog Madison had just given birth to a litter of 8 pups. She knew how much we had enjoyed playing with the previous litter on our visits with Winston before we were able to bring him home...and since this would be the last litter for Madison, she thought we might like to come and visit the little pups.

All puppies are cute, but Saint Bernard puppies are exceptionally so. When I held this little cuddly pup and she fell asleep on me, I fell in love...and my ever indulgent husband bought her for me.

Six silly things about me...

2008-09-05T17:54:00.003-05:00

I was tagged by Brea...here goes:

1. I love true crime stories. I started reading true crime books when I was 10. At the time, it didn't seem weird. Today? Who let's their 10 year old read about The Black Dahlia or this guy? Seriously, I think I should have been supervised a wee bit closer. Now, I like to watch Cold Case Files and such while I fold laundry.

2. Sometimes, I narrate conversations and situations in my head. Example: Driving down the road the other day...

Forrest: "Why do you pick me up before you pick the girls up"?
Me: "Beacause Forrest, you get out of school 20 minutes earlier".
Forrest: "Can't you pick them up and then pick me up"?
Me: "Sure Forrest, I'd love to add an extra 40 minutes to my after school pick-ups".

After I said that last line...in my head I thought "she said sarcastically".

That's just one example, I actually do that on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes, it annoys me.

3. I just realized that I should have titled this "6 Bizarre Things About Me".

3. (I was joking about that last #3). This might be TMI...but I brush my teeth while I am in the shower. Yep. I keep toothpaste and my toothbrush in the shower and that is were I polish my pearly whites.

4. I seriously have a problem with the news. I read it voraciously. Fox News is my home page and I check it several times a day. I love talk radio. I love the news...just not local news. I do not read the local paper and I do not watch any local news stations. Global/World news...I need to know. Local news...I'd rather be blissfully ignorant.

5. My favorite holiday is.......My Birthday. As a matter of fact, my birthday is next Friday. Yay Birthdays!

6. My friend Carrie and I used to be all about some old school Hip Hop. There was a teen club in Rivergate called "T Michaels" where we would go to dance on weekends (who let's their 13 year old hang out at a dance club???). While the dancing and big hair were a fleeting phase, we continued to like the music. To this day, if we catch a Bel Biv Devoe, LL Cool J, De La Soul or Digital Underground song on the radio, we'll call each other and bust into song..."bitties in the BK lounge...".

AND there you have it. Six pieces of completely useless information about moi.

Okay, let me see...I should tag someone else...how about the lovely Amber Corey, my talented friend Renee Camacho and my amazingly gifted blogging friend Elizabeth. (I know that you guys have been tagged for various things before...feel free to opt out).

So we've established that...

2008-08-28T20:40:00.002-05:00

I am not an overly sentimental person...and that I am not so good on the whole update-my-blog-on-a-regular-basis-thing. I'll work on it, I promise. I don't promise that improvement will be made...because honestly, I have commitment issues and I don't want to set myself up for failure here.

Hmmm...hmmmm...hmmm... there are so many things that I would like to blog about...and then, I think..."no, that might offend so-and-so", or "what would so-and-so think if I wrote such-and-such". Seriously, the list of things/people that I find irritating is growing by the day...and while blogging about those things might make me feel better, it probably wouldn't make the situation better. Does that make sense?

Like when someone that you barely know makes up blatant lies about you in their little minds, then spews those little lies like they're the gospel truth to acquaintances and mutual friends, then has the nerve to act like their wittle feelings are hurt when you really have nothing to say to them and therefore avoid conversation...those kinds of people really tend to bring out the best in me.

Then, there's the friendly gentleman that was driving 60 in the fast lane of a 70mph stretch of bypass, that decided he would speed up and slow down, speed up and slow down for 4 miles to keep me from passing...only to flip me the naughty-finger when I was finally able to gun-it and pass him. Him, I loved...and because of that love, I am proud to say that I was able to refrain from reciprocating his crude sign language.

Now, that I have those little things off my chest, maybe I'll be able to move on to more chipper posts in the near future. Until then, please check out the 306 blog...I am allllllmost completely caught up...and there is nary a negative thought or comment to be found.

I'm not an overly sentimental person,

2008-08-13T10:10:00.003-05:00

I'm just not. I'm fine with taking a trip without the kids. Mark and I can go out of town for a week and it usually takes us until day 5 or 6 to say "wow, I miss the kids". It doesn't bother me if my kids want to sleep over at Granny's for the weekend, and I'm fine when it comes time to send them off on their first day of school.

Please, don't get me wrong, I really LOVE my kids...I just don't NEED to be around them 24/7. And, I promise, they don't NEED to be around me 24/7, just ask 'em.

I know people who are not like me in this respect...and I think it's great that they are different from me...really, it's what make the world go 'round.

All of that to say...I am feeling sad and sappy today. Cammie started kindergarten this morning. (Our school district is a bit weird...she goes for half a day today, one half day next week, and then full time the following week).

I am blaming my sappy-sadness on the fact that not only did my baby start kindergarten this year, but Hannah started middle school and Forrest started high school.

This melancholy feeling I have must have been brought on by triple milestones, right? I think I will allow myself to wallow in this sea of sappiness...because I'm sure it won't last long...and it sure is nice to be in a quiet house again.

I know I'm behind

2008-08-04T17:05:00.003-05:00

on the photo blog. Of course, you and I both new that it was bound to happen. I tried really hard to keep my delinquent posts to a week or less...alas I am officially off the wagon.

Actually, I have pictures for every day. Pictures that were taken on the assigned day...and then left to simmer on the memory card.

I could make excuses for my lack of punctual posts...and most of them are pretty good and definitely true...but, really do you want to hear my excuses? No. I didn't think so.

Oh, what the heck...I'll throw in a few just to make this post longer and maybe more interesting.

Well besides the obvious two: procrastinating and perfectionism there are these (in no particular order):

1. I went out of town with a friend and lacked Internet service.

2. I decided to consign and use Saint Vickie to tag everything...but I couldn't find anyone that I could pay to climb into the recesses of my attic and pull down the 4 over sized Rubbermaid containers and the rod with approximately 6' of hanging clothes upon it...so I had to do it...gasp... myself.

3. All of those clothes had to be dug through to make sure that I was able to part with them.

4. My sister called in an IOU and I spent a day helping her with her new scrap room. (Just because I had fun doing it doesn't mean that it can't count as an excuse).

5. Forrest had two major projects due today (yes, on the first day of school), and they both required mucho (there's my Spanish kicking in again) parental assistance. Seriously, his tumbleweed project cost me at least 40 hours and that is not an exaggeration. It also caused my OCD to kick in which caused me to spend countless more hours researching family ancestors.

And, that is more than enough excuses...because the bottom line is...I haven't made time to upload the pics and get them posted. BUT, I plan to...tomorrow.

"To sell or not sell"...that is the question

2008-07-27T15:14:00.003-05:00

How many consignment sales do you think I have participated in? Not bought things at, sold things in?

How many times do you think I have spent hour upon hour checking outgrown dresses, skirts and shirts for "stains", "piling", "wash wear" or "pin holes"? Then, ironing each of the things that met with approval... making sure to put matching items on the same hanger to sell as "an outfit" because, we all know that "outfits" sell better than say a lone skirt.

Speaking of hangers...how many time do you think I have placed my selected items on hangers facing all the same way, safety pinning my carefully crafted 3x5 index cards on the specified shoulder for maximum ease of reading?

Speaking of those carefully crafted 3x5 index cards...how many times do you think I have filled them out noting manufacturer, size, price, approximate times worn and ND in bold red ink?

I'll cut to the chase. I'm sure most of you that know me are banking on "ZERO"... and you will be surprised to find that I have actually participated in such an undertaking...ONCE, yes ONE time.

Ironing, that was your first clue that it wouldn't happen more than once.

The one time that I did manage to summon the gumption to consign, I made $200.00. All of my clothes sold except for one outfit. Not too bad if I do say so myself.

So, why not consign more often you ask? Did I mention that I had to iron?

No, seriously. I decided to NEVER consign again because (1) It was easier to give the stuff away or (2) sell it to people I know. (3) I spent $256 at the sale bringing me to net -$56 and (4) I had to iron.

Oh, and I need at least a month to mentally prepare for numbers 1 through 4. Usually, when I think about consigning, it's as I am standing in line waiting to pay for the clothes I am buying at the consignment sale.

But (yes, I know that it is improper grammar to begin a sentence with the word "but", but I don't care), I am thinking that I may consign this year.

What's changed, you ask?

Well, for one thing, I thought about it before I was standing in line with fall clothes to pay for. For another thing, I have a TON of stuff to sell and 4 girls to buy for and also because my friend Brea has kept in the forefront of my mind by mentioning her huge consignment sale on her blog several times.

Now, if I can just factor in the cost of having the dry cleaner iron all of it into my selling price, I will be in business.

sigh...

2008-07-16T16:14:00.005-05:00

Well, to be honest, I had a whole post typed out...then deleted it because every sentence contained the word "sucks"...and really, it doesn't matter how many times I use the word, it won't change anything and it doesn't make me feel better either.

My grandma has lung cancer in addition to Alzheimer's, and the prognosis isn't very good. The next few months are going to be incredibly hard on our family.

If you think of us, please, pray for us.

Ummm...good question.

2008-07-11T09:17:00.002-05:00

We have a nosey child.

I know, I know, with our *perfect* parenting, it's hard to believe that one of our offspring would have undesirable traits. Trust me, it baffles me too.

(For those of you that don't know me very well, those last two sentences are dripping with sarcasm).

Anyhoo, Chloe is, well, interested...yes, that's a nice way to say it...she's "interested". She also has a knack for quietly inserting herself next to adults who are in conversation. In fact, this is probably the only time that she is quiet.

Most of the time, I shoo her away while repeating..."Chloe. Stop being nosey, it's rude. We are having an adult conversation, go play". I think I need to record that on a little tape and press play each time...it would save me A LOT of time.

There are times when she manages to "fly under the radar" so to speak, and actually over hears most of the conversation.

Case in point... A few weeks ago, I was talking with a friend at church. My friend is currently trying to get pregnant. Nothing was said that Chloe shouldn't hear, and so, on this rare occasion, she was not shooed away.

Yesterday, I was on the way to my favorite dry cleaner. Forrest, Chloe and Cammie were in the car with me. The kids had been quiet for a complete five minute stretch, which is nothing short of a miracle.

Chloe eventually breaks the silence... "Mommy"? (She says this at least one million, six hundred, seventy-two thousand, four hundred and eighty-three times per day).

Me: "Yes, Chloe"?

Chloe: "How do you try to get pregnant"?

Forrest: snickers loudly and says under his breath "yeah, mom...how do you try to get pregnant"?

Me: "You pray and ask Jesus to put a baby in your tummy".

Chloe: "Oh".

Forrest: " You are good. How do you do that...technically tell the truth without actually saying anything? You didn't even have time to think".

Me: sly grin, basking in the awe of my first born son

Tumbleweeds...

2008-07-01T10:39:00.002-05:00

You know that whole "divorce is not a good thing" mentioned in the bible? God definitely new what He was talking about.

In all of His infinite wisdom, He new that even though His grace and mercy would see His children through such situations, it could not make drafting a family tree any easier.

Forrest has homework due the first day of school. One of those assignments requires him (translation: us) to create a family tree covering 4 generations. At first, this sounded like an interesting and somewhat fun project.

Until we actually began thinking it through.

Then, we (translation: I) was presented with dilemmas...as in more than one dilemma.

Dilemma numero uno (see, my Spanish classes are paying off): Which "father" do we use? Forrest cleared that up rather quickly and decided that we should use both Brandon and Mark.

Hurdle cleared, we move on. Now, in order to incorporate all of Forrest's siblings, Mark's ex-wife got added to the family tree. It's getting more and more interesting by the minute.

Okay, so far we have Forrest at the bottom of the tree. We have the "mother" blank filled in and we have the "father" blank filled in...twice. We have a broken line to account for Mark's first marriage thus allowing us to account for all siblings.

Now, we move on to Forrest's grandparents. Of course there is my mom. Easy enough. My dad...not so easy. Let's see...I'm not exactly sure who my biological dad is...so, do I put a large "?" in that blank?

Then, I think "I should just use my step-dad because he did in fact raise me". Now if I do that, then do I change my maiden name to my step-dad's last name...and if I do that...wouldn't that be lying? Of course he has to be on the tree somehow, because we have to account for my sister, Forrest's only maternal aunt.

Okay, a headache is forming, let's move on to someone else. How about Brandon's side. His mom (Forrest's paternal grandmother) is easy enough. Insert more broken lines to indicate her two marriages that produced children in order to show Forrest's aunts and uncles, which means more broken lines to account for a remarriage and the children that came with it to account for cousins.

My headache is getting worse.

Did I mention that we also need dates of birth, death if applicable, marriage, divorce, and remarriage?

We are barely through generation two and Forrest's Family Tree looks more like Forrest's Family Tumbleweed.

For the record...

2008-06-21T16:48:00.002-05:00

Lest you think I am a complete sloth, I thought I should let you know that I actually did some things today.

First, I started in on the mounds and mounds of laundry.

Then, I actually planned meals for the next week and a half. Because, I actually plan on *gasp* cooking.

Next, I went to the grocery. Yes, I braved the Super Wal-Mart. On a Saturday. With everyone else within a 20 mile radius of Hendersonville. (I had to navigate a 9 cart pile-up in the laundry detergent aisle). Have I mentioned that I do not heart Wal-Mart? Or grocery shopping? Or cooking?

To top off my extraordinary day of domesticity, I cooked dinner. Yes, I did. Paula Dean's shrimp creole.

Now, if you click on that little link to see the recipe, you will notice that it is rated as "easy", and the prep time is rated as "5 minutes". Ummm...I don't want to call Paula a liar...because, really I love Paula. I really, really love her fabulous restaurant and I really, really, really love her hoe cakes.

But, it takes a bit more than 5 minutes to chop the celery, bell pepper and onion. And, even when you buy shrimp that is "peeled and deveined", you are bound to get shrimp with that icky, slimy, gross funk down the back...and I assure you that it took way more than 5 minutes to re-devein the deveined shrimp.

Saturday randomness...

2008-06-21T09:50:00.002-05:00

Cammie, Chloe and Sophie are at Granny's house.

Hannah is at church camp.

Forrest is still asleep.

Mark is pressuring washing the deck.

For all intents and purposes (I've never used that saying before, but I like the way it sounds when other people do), I am alone in my house. On a Saturday. Which, is just unheard of.

What to do, what to do.

Do I tackle one of the big projects that have been on my To Do list...repair the sh oer curtain valance thingy in the kids' bathroom, hang the two pictures that go in the kids bathroom but have been patiently waiting in my office since last September, oooohhhhh finish cleaning my office, order pictures since I haven't in over a year...which means that I have been scrapbooking photos from circa 2004 lately, catch up the laundry, or maybe finish those Guatemala posts that I started well over a month ago

So very many things to choose from.

For someone with OCD, I sure can leave a lot of things undone. See, this is caused by issues that I have discussed before...the "P" words that go hand in hand with OCD...Procrastination which is brought on by Perfectionism. Oh, okay, I'll be honest...there is a bit of laziness thrown in the mix that has nothing to do with OCD.

It's a dreadful combination...OCD, Procrastination, Perfectionism, Laziness.

First, I think I'll have another cup of coffee, then I'll work on being productive.

Obsessions

2008-06-12T16:37:00.002-05:00

For some reason, I have thought that I shouldn't post anything until I was finished with the Guatemala Chronicles...hmmm...perhaps it has something to do with my OCD.

It's the strangest thing...I'll get something in my head, and "that's just the way it is"...then, one day the fog clears and I think..."hey, I could do it this way". For example, there have been several times that I have thought..."I should blog about that... Oh, wait... I can't...I haven't finished the Guatemala posts". Then, out of nowhere, I just have this thought..."So what. I can finish those posts any time" .

Let me clarify, I have thought "so what" a few other times, but I couldn't get past it without breaking out in hives ...then, today... I think "so what"...and voila...no splotchy red marks arise on my chest when I pop over here to post.

This is not a new phenomenon, it has/does happen with other things too...Many of you are aware of my recovery from my Little People problem...here is a brief explanation for those of you who are not.

There was a time, that my Obsessive Disorder caused me to be fixated on Fisher-Price Little People. I kept a list of all the Little People sets and pieces that we had (this began when Forrest was little). I would go through the Little People, checking off my list when they were present and accounted for. If, heaven forbid, one was lost, I would scour the Internet looking for a replacement. If I happened down the toy aisle and came across one that we didn't have, splotches of red hives would appear across my neckline. This lasted for a few years...then, one day, it miraculously disappeared. I knew I was fficially cured from my Little People Disorder when I was able to give a few sets to the Goodwill.

Some other things that either have or still cause an obsession are:

-hair bows...please don't ask how many we own...suffice it to say, I plan on putting Chloe through college with the money I make from reselling them.

-Basic Grey scrapbook paper...DANGER DANGER...I need at least 3 sheets of each paper that they make...no need to do the math on that one either.

-hanging clothes in all closets by (1) color (2) sleeve length (3) collar style.

-music on itunes...I have to pace myself...because if I log on without giving myself a limit of 10 or so songs...well, just this afternoon, I somehow ended up downloading 50 songs...I know, I know...but The Dance Hall Crashers were one of my favorites...and I like to sleep to Morphine...and, and...

If I could somehow channel this to say...laundry, oooohhhhh or cooking...life would be good.

Guatemala...Day 3

2008-05-30T17:46:00.019-05:00

After a quick breakfast of fruit, toast and unbelievably good coffee, we loaded our luggage back onto the bus and headed for Panajachel, Guatemala. On the way, we were scheduled to stop in the town of Tecpan to explore the Mayan ruins of Ixiche.

The drive was beautiful, and I was fascinated by the fields that the people farm. They plow any land available...most of it being on steep inclines.

The "highway", and I use that term very loosely, was narrow, and wrapped around a mountain. There were no dividing lines and no guardrails, and there was major construction going on. Guatemalan construction is a bit different than ours. First of all, it is a VERY long process...years and years and years. Their equipment is limited and dated. The workers shut down one lane for HOURS while letting the other lane continue to move. It isn't uncommon to be stuck for three hours or more.

Luckily, we were not in the lane that got stopped and were able to travel through easily and quickly...easily if you count clinging to the side of the mountain in a top heavy tour bus with cars zipping around you, while you try not to look down the side of the cliff to the rock bottomed creek below.

We reached the ruins right on schedule. I have to admit, I was very excited about this excursion. Ancient history has always interested me, and to be able to explore Mayan ruins was a dream come true.

After Sister Lynne negotiated our entrance fee, we were free to explore the small museum and then the grounds. This picture is of a diorama that was set up in the museum. This is what the ruins looked like when complete.

Looks like blunt force trauma to the head... What do you think?

This was our first glimpse of the ruins themselves...

Here we have a closer shot of one of the ruins...

Let me put that last picture in perspective so that you can get a true grasp of the size. This is the same ruin with two of our friends standing atop.

As I mentioned in my photo blog, one of the rituals that the ancient Mayans performed was rather grotesque. A female virgin would be placed on one of the smaller altars at ground level. In order to complete a rite of passage into manhood, a guy would kill her, rip her heart out, race up the steep narrow steps and present it to the king while it was still beating.

I wonder two things...(1) What happened if it stopped beating before he got to the top...did he get a "do over"? (2) What did the girls get to do in their rite of passage? Hmm...think on that....

There was one altar still in operation. In fact, a family was in the process of making offerings to the "gods" with the help of their "witch doctor" while we were there. Photography was prohibited...but, thanks to a zoom lens and a few friends to block for me, I was able to get a few images...

In the first shot, you can see the "witch doctor" (in the green sweatshirt), the dad and two small children. Evidently, this particular god likes Big K...they offered him/her two 3 liters. I'm not sure what they were burning.

The god also likes papayas.

The offerings are placed at different stations around the altar. Candles of different colors are also lit depending on what you are seeking from the god.

After watching for a few minutes, I decided to explore further. I don't know about you, but I would have to question the validity of a "god" whose temple had a potty like this one...

Here are a few more ruin shots...

After the ruins, it was time for lunch and our second Guatemalan meal. We ate at Katuk...a restaurant that specialized in kabobs. They were tasty...but the pineapple was the best...divine.

This also happened to mark the beginning of my love affair with Naranja de Soda (rough pronunciation: Na-ha-ron-ja duh Sord-ah). No, that isn't the name of a hot Guatemalan man...it's the name of a cool and delicious fruity drink.

Basically, it's like lemon-aid, but instead of lemons, you use oranges and instead of regular water, you use soda water. Oh so refreshing...Then, we were back on the bus and heading for Panajachel.

In order to reach Panajachel, one must travel through the city of Solola. Which, isn't a big deal...unless one happens to be riding on a ginormous tour bus. Then, Solola becomes a bit tricky. Why? Well, the streets are a on the narrow side.

This is where the problems started...

Now, see the two buildings on the right? We needed to turn between the red brick building and the yellow w/orange stripe building.

Oscar, our bus driver's assistant had to get off the bus to help with the navigation. Notice the little boy watching the spectacle.

Speaking of people watching the spectacle...here are some people in their cab watching us...

Everyone in the cab was smiling, and didn't seem bothered at all when they had to get out of their cab and walk the rest of the way to their destination due to our impromptu road block.

This guy however, got tired of watching, and needed a restroom break...since you have to pay to use restrooms, this electrical pole looked like a good alternative.

Obviously, the bus would not make the turn. Fortunately, there were some friendly law enforcement employees willing to help in exchange for a"tip" (a more accurate term would be: bribe) . We backed down a one way street. Then, our escort RAN ahead of us down another one way street for about a mile, stopping traffic so that we could get through.

Before long, we were over the mountain, and catching our first glimpse of the lake...

the streets of Panajachel...

and our hotel...

Guatemala...Day 2

2008-05-19T09:28:00.009-05:00

Monday April 28
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Let me begin by saying that I was completely prepared for sub-par hotels, restaurants and restrooms in Guatemala. In fact, I was disappointed to find out that we would be staying in a nice Radisson rather than in a corrugated tin lean-to. This is a third world country after all.
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When my flight was cancelled due to mechanical failure on two different planes, and when I had spent 12 hours in an airport terminal due to those failures, and when I spent half an hour circling over Cuba dumping fuel to avoid a burning inferno in case of a crash landing... wanting to sleep in a decent hotel just doesn't seem to be asking for too much. Does it?
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We could tell that the room was a bit on the funky side, and turning on a bunch of lights seemed like a bad idea. Since the air barely worked and the circulation was at a minimum, Mark and I slept in two separate beds.
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Thanks to my friend Nyquil, I slept well. When I woke up around 9:30, I thought it would be a good idea to open the door to the balcony and let some fresh air in. As I turned around to head towards the bathroom and a cool shower, I glanced down to see that I had spent the night sleeping on this:

Now, had we been in Guatemala when I made this discovery, I would have thought it a bit yucky, but I would not have been ill or angry. BUT, I was in AMERICA, in Miami, and I'm sorry, but I just expect a little better than stained sheets. Oh, and my pillow also had the same stains on it. So, my bedding was not stained (a stain would imply that someone had actually washed the sheets), no, my bedding was soiled and then left unwashed when the bed was remade. Unfortunately, in a hotel that I hadn't paid for complaining would have gotten me nowhere.
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Obviously, I wasn't able to eat anything prepared in the kitchen at the hotel, so Mark and I called for the shuttle and told everyone that we would meet them at the airport.
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We made it through security, checked our luggage and had a nice brunch at a Cuban restaurant. Afterwards, we headed to the gate and settled in for our 5 hour wait. By this point, my attitude was much improved. I read a book, Mark read the paper. We played a game of Scrabble (oh, how I love my travel scrabble).
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After everyone else arrived, we all spent the next hour wandering around the terminal spending the food vouchers the airline had given us. Peanuts, chocolate, bottles of water, cheese fries and Starbucks...lots and lots of Starbucks.
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Twenty minutes before our flight was scheduled to board, an announcement was made that it had been delayed twenty minutes. After all of our delays the night before, this was not a good sign. So, we gathered into a large circle and prayed. Within 3 minutes of our prayer, another announcement was made...our flight would be boarding right on time...and it did!

The flight was blissfully uneventful. I took a few shots of the clouds through the window. Later, when I previewed some of the pictures, I found this:

The shadow of our plane against the clouds, encircled by a rainbow. Thank you Jesus for your protection, a hedge around us, just as we had asked for!
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After having our passports checked, retrieving our luggage and wandering through the maze of heavily armed guards, we pushed our WELCOME carts outside to wait for the missionaries and our bus.

Remember how I had been expecting a tin lean-to instead of a hotel? Well, my ideas on our transportation were along those same lines. I had envisioned a converted school bus with no exhaust pipes or air conditioning and our luggage tied on top. Instead we had a luxury tour bus...cushy seats, cold air, luggage compartment underneath, and huge windows to look out.

We had to stay at a different hotel than we had originally planned for the first night. I hate that I didn't get a picture, but believe me when I say that it was NICE. Check-in was a breeze, our room was large, the bathroom was gorgeous and the sheets were pristine.
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After settling our things into the room, we met with the missionaries, the AIMers, and the rest of the group for an overview of the trip. We learned what not to eat...anything from a roadside vendor, any fruit we didn't peel ourselves, unrecognizable meat, etc. We also learned about pick-pockets and thieves and the safest place to keep money...a little in your purse or wallet in case you were held up, more in your bra, and emergency money somewhere "creative".

We also had our first Guatemalan meal.

At 11 it was off to bed. We had to be up, re-packed, fed and on the bus by 8:30am.

Guatemala...Day 1

2008-05-12T14:34:00.013-05:00

Sunday April 27
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We loaded our luggage (3 suitcases, 1 huge duffel bag, 1 camera bag, 1laptop bag, 2 carry on suitcases and 1 large carry on) into the truck and headed to church.

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When we arrived, all of our things were loaded into a pull-behind-trailer. I spent some time introducing Carol to the people that would be helping to get Forrest to and from youth functions and trying to chase down Chloe and Cammie for kisses. Chloe and Cammie were more interested in getting to their Sunday School rooms, and if I hadn't been leaving for a foreign country for 8 days, I'm sure I would have marveled at their love for their teachers and the house of God. As it were, I spent a few minutes sulking and pouting.
-

We were able to participate in the worship service. Then, the 25 of us who were part of "Team Guatemala" were called to the front of the church to be prayed for. It was an unbelievable feeling. Knowing that we were about to embark on this journey, knowing that God would not only use us to bless others, but that He also had plans to change us and bless us...it was such an humbling feeling. Yet, there was also a feeling of unmatched excitement. Almost like Christmas morning...when you know that there are great gifts waiting for you under the tree, but not knowing exactly what they are or what will be unwrapped first. It was just a broad mix of emotions.
-
After we were prayed for, we were dismissed for the airport. We all piled into the church vans and were off.
-

The flight into Miami was scheduled for1:40. We checked-in and then had a bit of lunch. Our flight was right on time, and things went smoothly.
-

We arrived in Miami a short time later and we had an hour and 15 minutes before boarding our plane at 6:00 (Miami time) to Guatemala City. When we reached the International terminal, we found that our flight had been delayed an extra 45 minutes...no problem, there was a Starbucks in the terminal and I had travel Scrabble.

Our departure time kept climbing. At 7, we were notified that due to "maintenance issues" with our plane, they were calling in another plane and our new departure time would be 8:30. We were informed that our dinner in Guatemala City had been cancelled and that we should eat dinner in the airport. So we did.

Finally, at 8:30, we boarded the plane. We had been in the air for about 15 minutes when something felt wrong. I pulled my earphones out and asked Mark if he felt it. Mark is not easily excitable (understatement), so he rolled his eyes at me and said "No, it doesn't feel wrong, it feels like turbulence. Don't worry about it". I rolled my eyes too, just to let him know what I thought of his experienced-world-traveler-know-it-all-self, and put my earphones back in.

A few moments later, I hear the pilot make a muffled announcement. I pull my earphones out just in time to hear him say that due to a "mechanical failure", we were turning around and going back to Miami. Oh, and he said we shouldn't worry. Hmmm...there is a mechanical failure, we're turning around, don't worry...which statement doesn't belong? It seems to me that the pilot was obviously worried or we wouldn't be turning around.

Our group begins to pray (yes, all of us...yes, out loud). Thank the Lord, we made it back to the airport and landed safely. The pilot then comes back on to let us know that the instrument panel had gone out!!!

The plane is unloaded, and we are told to wait in the terminal for further instructions.

Luke decided to play Airline worker and took over an empty information desk. He also dialed a number listed on the plane and requested that a new plane be sent to our terminal. Unfortunately, a real worker came over and scolded him. Fortunately, we were not tossed from the airport.

After 20 minutes, the airline announced that our flight had been cancelled and that arrangements were being made to rebook our flights and for hotel rooms for the night. We were near the front of the line for re-assignment which was a great thing since it was taking an average of 10 minutes per person to be re-booked. The bad news was that we wouldn't be able to leave Miami until 6pm the following day. There was an early flight, but not enough seats on it to accommodate our group.

Food vouchers, hotel name and new tickets in hand, we went down to claim our baggage. The not-so-customer-service-oriented fellow working the baggage claim area made it clear that we would be in for a long wait if we "insisted on retrieving our luggage" instead of "just letting it go on to Guatemala and picking it up when we got there".

We "insisted". It took a long time. So long that we all sat on the little conveyor belts that had signs that said "Do Not Sit", except for Luke who laid on it, and Mark who laid on the floor.

After an hour, our luggage finally came circling around the carousel. Next stop, 20 minute wait for the hotel shuttle.

It took two shuttles to carry all of us. The men gallantly let the ladies catch the first shuttle, while they waited the 20 minutes for the return shuttle.

After a bit of confusion at the check-in desk, and some very rude "other guests" Mark and I finally stumbled into our room at 2:30am...only to find that our air-conditioner was actually an air-circulator. I took a shot of Nyquil and finally, slept.
-

I would like to point out that we somehow managed to get TWO planes that were faulty...

...that Mark, in all of his many, many flights, has never had a plane turn around and go back to the airport.

We later found out that our plane had been circling over the ocean dumping fuel because of concern about landing without an instrument panel. Thank you Lord for protecting us!

Disclaimer...

2008-05-12T14:25:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I know that I said I would post an update of our trip...oh a week ago. And, really, I had every intention of doing so.

Then, well...I spent the week in sheer denial of all of the things that *needed* to be DONE. So instead of doing things like laundry, grocery shopping, and updating this here blog...I did things like read two books, sleep late and take naps. I did manage to buy Mother's Day gifts and cards, which, should count for something.

In order to help fight off procrastination and overwhelmedness (yes, I made that word up), I am going to post a recap of each day of our trip daily. I do, however, reserve the right to skip a day if I am over taken by overwhelmedness and the right to post two days worth of recaps in one day if I am feeling especially frisky.

I shot a little over 2,200 pictures...and there is no way I can upload that many pictures onto blogger...so I will post a few each day and maybe, possibly upload the rest to Flicker...we'll see.

We're home...

2008-05-06T11:33:00.003-05:00

...safe and sound.

Turns out, we did NOT have internet access in our hotel. Look for an update later this afternoon...

Touching base...

2008-04-24T16:48:00.003-05:00

Hmmm...so....

Maybe you're wondering how my "word for the year" is going... you remember, the one I posted in January in lieu of a New Year's Resolution, or New Year's intention.

Discipline, I believe it was.

Well, I'll tell you about two different conversations with two of my lovely daughters, and then, you can judge for yourself.

Last week, I was getting dressed for church. I was in the process of putting on a pair of Spanx. Now, if you've never wore Spanx, let me just say, they do great things...they also look like biker shorts for a 9 month old when removed from the package.

So, I was wriggling into them, and Chloe was sitting on the edge of the tub chatting with me.

She stops mid-sentence and says..."Those Do Not fit you. Your bottom is Too Big and those things are Too Small".

"Thanks Chloe", I reply.

"What momma? It's da truff".
-----------------------------

Yesterday, sitting on the deck, having lunch with Cammie.

She glances down at my thighs and says, "When I grow up, my legs are gonna be wittle, not big".

I just nod my head.

She points at my thigh and says "See, your legs, they're big. See my legs, they're wittle. Mine aren't gonna get big like yours".
-----------------------------

Well...that's enough about that. Moving on...

We are wrapping up the final preparations for our trip. Buying luggage, ironing out schedules, catching up laundry, making sure I have plenty of memory cards, etc.

Please remember to keep us in your prayers.

Oh, and I found out that we will have Internet access in our rooms and Mark will be bringing his laptop (if his gets stolen, his work has to replace it...if mine gets stolen, we have to replace it)....so, look for updates from Guatemala.

Prayer request...

2008-04-17T16:42:00.004-05:00

Mark and I are going on a mission trip to Guatemala...we leave a week from Sunday, and will be gone for eight days.

Forrest's grandmother will be staying with the kids at our house while we are away, and they are all EXCITED to see Grandmother...so excited, that they are not in the least bit bothered that they won't be seeing Momma and Daddy for a week...

While we are there, we won't have access to the Internet. Neither will we have our own cellphones. Our group will have two phones for emergencies, but not to call home and chat.

Now, Mark and I have taken trips without the kids before. Usually just long weekends. Last year, we went to New England for a week...but, we were a two hour plane ride away...and we had two laptops with us...and we had two cell phones with us...

This time...six hour plane ride... in a country with maybe two flights to America per day...with zero laptops and zero phones.

Honestly, Carol will do a much better job than I do with the kids. They will actually eat a home cooked meal every night instead of cheese quesadillas from the Mexican Restaurant next to our house, or pasta from Carraba's or ...well, you get the picture.

They will also have scrambled eggs, or sausage and biscuits for breakfast instead of pop tarts, cereal bars or microwave oatmeal.

Their clothes will all be put away, the next days outfit laid out the night before... which will be a nice change for them...seeing how I tend to procrastinate the putting away of laundry and therefore have to scramble in the mornings to assemble their ensembles.

Yes, they will be well cared for, spoiled rotten and content.

While I am completely confident that things will be FINE, I am a bit nervous about the lack of communication.

So, please pray:

-for Mark and I (and everyone else in our group) to have safe travels.

-that our kids remain healthy and all of their bones intact.

-that our lovely kids don't drive Carol crazy.

-that we (Mark, myself and our group) are a blessing to the people that we encounter in Guatemala.

-that we are changed and impacted for life for the glory of the Lord.

-that revival falls in Guatemala.

Thanks in advance for any and all of your prayers!

True or False reveal...

2008-04-11T11:16:00.003-05:00

1. My pantry is super organized. All veggies in one section, organized by color, all labels facing forward. Same for beans, etc. My OCD runs rampant in all things closet/pantry related.

TRUE. I notice immediately if a label is turned the wrong way, and adjust it. People ask if it takes a lot of time to maintain. Nope. It just makes sense to me to have things organized. I don't have a "problem" or an "issue". I don't. Really.

2. When I was 16, I was a Subway Sandwich artist. I still order my sandwich in the way that I "perfected" while working there. And yes, it does make a difference in the way it tastes.

TRUE. My favorite is a veggie and cheese on wheat. The veggie/condiment configuration I created works with all sandwiches though...and really, it makes sense. Lettuce goes on after the meat and cheese. Then, you put the mayo and/or mustard on (it helps the lettuce stick together and keeps it from falling off), next oil and vinegar (the lettuce absorbs it and keeps it from dripping off the sandwich and onto your shirt). Next, all other veggies. Tomatoes on top (keeps the small veggies in place). Follow that up with salt, pepper and oregano. Voila, a sandwich that isn't too messy. It just makes sense. Really. It does.

3. I love creeks. My grandparents had one in their backyard through out my entire childhood. I would spend hours exploring in it, or reading a book on a large dry rock in the middle of the stream.

TRUE. One day, we will have a yard with a creek. I heart creeks.

4. I read at a very early age, but I didn't fall in love with reading until the second grade. I was a helper in the library and while shelving books, I discovered Nancy Drew. I read the entire series that year, and I have been a voracious reader since.

TRUE. I love me some Nancy Drew. I tried to get Hannah to love some Nancy Drew too. It didn't work. They are a little to scary for her. Sophie is next on my list. I doubt Chloe will like them for the same reason as Hannah (they are my timid two). Cammie, she'll read through 'em in a month and move on to True Crime books without batting an eye. Hmm...on second thought maybe I won't encourage her to meet Nancy.

5. My favorite childhood breakfast is my grandma's toast and gravy. Mmm Mmm. (Mark wants everyone to know that my favorite breakfasts now are his pancakes and his biscuits and gravy).

TRUE. MMM MMM. Talk about good stuff. (Yep Tammy, that's what we were talking about the other day). Good stuff.

6. I heart my freckles.

TRUE. I've always like my freckles. Forrest has them too, and I think they rock (can't use the word cute when referring to a 14 year old male). Hannah has a few sprinkles. Sophie, no freckles. Chloe...zero freckles...so sad. Cammie...yay freckles!

7. My favorite form of exercise is running.

FALSE. I do not heart running. I get shin splints...where your shin is rammed between your knee and heal and hurts really, really bad and not because you're a wimp but because it really, really hurts. Really. (Renee, you were right, my kick boxing trainer made me run, but, the floor was padded. No jarring).

8. I have never been to Disneyland or Disney world.

Sad but TRUE. I am on a desperate mission to change that. I think everyone should email my lovely little husband and complain about the injustice of a 30 year old woman being withheld from the happiness and goodness that is Disney World/Land. AND, I think you should tell him in your email, that the only way to make up for that painful deprivation would be to book us a room in the Animal Kingdom resort with a balcony so that the giraffes can wander past. I'm just sayin', ya know, if you want to.

9. When I was 12, my dream car was a yellow low-rider Nissan truck with graphics on the side. (Yes, I went through a "G" phase...it was short, very short).

TRUE. It took mucho courage to put that in writing. Moving on...

10. I am considering going in for a consultation at the place where they grow hair. I saw a billboard that says "We grow eyebrows too".

TRUE. Oh so true. I don't want to be one of those little old ladies with the drawn on eyebrows that look like they are in a constant state of SURPRISE! Blonde body hair is great when it comes to leg hair...it's invisible. It is not so great when it comes to eyebrows...it's invisible.

10 UNimportant things about me...

2008-04-08T22:49:00.003-05:00

Accepting a challenge set forth my Tammy and then Renee...10 things about me, but 1 is false. Can you guess which one is false?

1. My pantry is super organized. All veggies in one section, organized by color, all labels facing forward. Same for beans, etc. My OCD runs rampant in all things closet/pantry related.

2. When I was 16, I was a Subway Sandwich artist. I still order my sandwich in the way that I "perfected" while working there. And yes, it does make a difference in the way it tastes.

3. I love creeks. My grandparents had one in their backyard through out my entire childhood. I would spend hours exploring in it, or reading a book on a large dry rock in the middle of the stream.

4. I read at a very early age, but I didn't fall in love with reading until the second grade. I was a helper in the library and while shelving books, I discovered Nancy Drew. I read the entire series that year, and I have been a voracious reader since.

5. My favorite childhood breakfast is my grandma's toast and gravy. Mmm Mmm. (Mark wants everyone to know that my favorite breakfasts now are his pancakes and his biscuits and gravy).

6. I heart my freckles.

7. My favorite form of exercise is running.

8. I have never been to Disneyland or Disney world.

9. When I was 12, my dream car was a yellow low-rider Nissan truck with graphics on the side. (Yes, I went through a "G" phase...it was short, very short).

10. I am considering going in for a consultation at the place where they grow hair. I saw a billboard that says "We grow eyebrows too".

I saw the funniest

2008-04-01T17:21:00.003-05:00

bumper sticker this afternoon. Oh, how I wish I had put my pocket camera back in my purse.

It read:

SAVE A PIT BULL,
NEUTER A THUG

Does anyone else find that highly amusing?

Here I am...

2008-03-27T21:33:00.004-05:00

Ya know, just in case any of you were wondering where I am.

Now, where have I been? Good question.

Saturday, we spent the day with my family, celebrating Easter at my cousins' farm in Bucksnort. (Is Bucksnort not the funniest name for a town)? (Oh, and just to clarify...everyone calls it a farm because it is a couple of hundred acres in the middle of nowhere which, I am sure you gathered by the name Bucksnort...it does not however, have animals or crops, so I am not sure what the actual term should be, so for the sake of the story, we'll stick with "farm").

Where was I? Oh yes, Bucksnort. We spent the day eating fantastic Bar-B-Q, hunting for eggs, riding 4-wheelers and enjoying the farm life. (Mark and I are trying to convince ourselves that we do not need a "farm" ourselves).

Sunday was spent at church of course. It was fantastic. Truly fantastic.

After church, we left for St. Louis.

On the way, it snowed. Heavily.

We were shocked by the sight of flooded farm land.

We checked into our hotel. (My husband wrinkled his nose at my choice of the Drury Inn Plaza. He apologized upon arrival. It was a great hotel, great service, nice breakfast and huge rooms. Yay for tripadvisor-dot-com).

Monday, after breakfast, we hit the Zoo. St. Louis has the BEST zoo.

We had lunch at a Root Beer bottling place called Fitz's. The food wasn't great, but the Root Beer was TASTY. (Forrest and I are root beer connoisseurs).

My lovely husband took the kiddies for a swim and I read for a bit as I was coming down with a cold.

Which is why I took NyQuil in order to sleep that night.

Which is why I slept through 3 hours of Sophie and her stomach virus. Have I said that I have the best husband in the world? He completely handled the stomach virus. All three hours of projectile body fluids. God bless him.

We slept through breakfast at the hotel on Tuesday.

Sophie and I braved IHOP with everyone else.

Then, she and I came back to the hotel and slept for the next four hours. Mark (the saint) took the rest of the kids to tour a historic court house, wander around the green-space beneath the Arch, and swim in the pool again.

On Wednesday, things were looking better. We made it to breakfast.

Then, we headed to the City Museum. We couldn't believe how much they have added in the last 5 years. The weather was great, and the kids had a blast playing outside. After 6 hours, we were wore out. We headed back to the hotel, ordered in, packed and went to bed early.

Which was a good thing.

Because Chloe woke up with the stomach virus.

The plan was to go to the Arch and then to the Magic House Museum.

Instead we ate a quick breakfast and headed for home.

Which was a good thing...because Chloe threw up in a plastic bag for the next three hours. Yay. (Yes, we tossed them out and replaced them with fresh ones frequently...just in case you were worried about the germs and/or smell).

And we had to stop at Wal-Mart to get Hannah cough medicine because she caught my cold.

And then we were caught in a hail storm.

And then Mark got the stomach virus.

And then I got a fever.

And now, I am going to bed.

p.s. Pictures to follow.

p.s.s The 306 blog will be updated tomorrow.

p.s.s.s Even when we are all sick, we have a great time together, and I am so eternally thankful that God has blessed me with this hectic-crazy-sickly-fun-wild bunch of kids and fantabulous husband.

Introducing...

2008-03-14T21:15:00.016-05:00

Winston Oliver Suffridge

Born: February 1, 2008

Currently 9lb 10oz (and growing by 5oz a day)!

We are in love.

The deal with dogs is...

2008-03-10T18:53:00.006-05:00

ya just never know. Will they be a "good" dog. Will they potty train in a reasonable amount of time, will they be loyal and loving, sensitive to your mood and ready to nuzzle you when they sense that you need it? Will they be gentle with the kids, happy in the car, friendly with the neighbors and their dogs? Will this be an euphoric Lassie-like experience where everyone (doggie included) is happy with the relationship?

Or will they bite the groomer ensuring that they come home with a strip of hair the width of razor missing from their back (think reverse mohawk). Will they nibble on your children or will they chew your new dining room furniture? Will they refuse to potty outside, preferring to "go" under the beds in the pink bedroom? Will they chew on your favorite brown Steve Madden sandal or poop right next to your brand new Nike shocks? Will your friends kindly ask that you put your doggie "up" so that they aren't jumped upon or scratched and so that their children aren't chased around the house? (Yes, all of those things happened to us while we were the proud owners of Libby Lu).

That's the thing with doggies. It's a gamble. An expensive gamble at that.

When Mark and I first married, he had a 95lb Lab mix, Onyx. When she was a puppy, she contracted parvo. Mark spent $600 on his "free" puppy, and she lived. In most respects, she was a great dog.

We had been married a few months when she began digging under our fence. We spent MANY hours filling in holes, picking up trash and chasing her down. Once we figured out how to keep her in the fence, male dogs began climbing in there with her.

Strange behaviour seeing how she had been fixed three or four years before.

We took her to the vet. Evidently, when she had been spayed, a tiny bit of ovary had been left. It regenerated, and this was causing her to go into heat a couple of times a month. This also caused her to be aggressive towards dogs that were smaller than her.

After having to pay the vet bills of two of our neighbors dogs, we gave her to my aunt and uncle who live on 10 acres out in the middle of nowhere.

Eventually, we decided that we wanted another doggie. Despite our preference for large dogs, we thought that with our new house (we had been here less than a year at this point), and our small children (Sophie was 4, Chloe was 3 and Cammie was 2), a smaller doggie would be a better choice.

We fell in love with an adorable, fluffy, little Shih Tzu. I personally had visions of cute little sweaters, frilly hair bows and my own wittle furry lap dog. Mark raved about how "beautiful" she was, Forrest thought she was quote "the sweetest puppy ever". Hannah promised to brush her, Sophie developed Elmyra-ish tendencies, Cammie thought she had a new playmate and even animal-timid Chloe was in love.

This lasted for a few months. We tried to train her. We made excuses for her less than desirable behaviour. Then, after the infamous poo-in-the-Nike-shock incident, we gave her away. The kids didn't bat an eye when after 12 months of trying to traing Libby, the nice people we found on free-cycle drove off into the sunset with her. That was the end of our dog owning days.

Fast forward two and a half years.

The itch is back. We want a doggie.

We love dogs. We enjoy owning them, playing with them, loving on them.

After going back and forth, weighing the pros and cons, we decide to jump in and give it one last try.

This time, we spent time researching... thinking of the traits and characteristics we wanted in a dog.

We knew from past experience that we wanted a large dog. I think small dogs are ADORABLE, but they are just not for us. We are BIG dog people.

No yippee dogs, no jumpy dogs, no dumb dogs. No hyper dogs, no mean dogs.

Big. Calm. Tame. Trainable. Reliable. Docile.

And. So. We decided that a Saint Bernard is the dog for us. 185 pounds of trainable, loving, docile fur.

This time, we are going into this more educated and more informed. Just in case that isn't enough, we're hiring an obedience trainer.

This is our new lovie. We haven't named him yet. We bring him home on Saturday.

p.s. As I was typing this, the movie Beethoven came on. Surely that's a sign...right?

p.s.s. Feel free to leave name suggestions in the comment section or email them to me.

Did you hear the sigh of relief...

2008-03-08T19:33:00.002-06:00

coming from Hendersonville around 5:30 this evening?

No?

Well, that was me. Mark and I finally put our Christmas totes up into the loft in our garage. They have been taking up a good chunk of our garage ever since December 30th. It has been a very tight fit parking my truck in there.

Yes, the 2 five foot tall eighty pound nutcrackers, 3 over sized totes, 10 regular sized totes, 1 wreath container, 4 bags, 1 seven foot tree, 2 four foot trees, 1 holly berry topiary, 1 cardboard box and festive holiday door mat are nestled into their home high above my truck just in time for Easter.

7 Random Facts

2008-03-08T09:21:00.004-06:00

I had planned on posting today... a post revealing the breed of puppy that we are adopting. As I was reading Renee's blog, I realized that I had been unofficially "tagged". (Actually, I am feeling a bit lazy, and figure it will be easier to come up with obscure things about myself than to write about our history with dogs).

Without further ado...

1. When I was in the 7th grade, I decided that since I hated my name so much, I should go by my middle name...Ellissa (how creative was that spelling...Mellissa minus the "M"). I even had it embroidered on my cheer leading uniform (yes, I was a cheerleader...eek). Unfortunately, everyone knew me as "Destry", and even having my new name emblazoned across my shoulder wasn't enough to convince them to call me otherwise.

2. I have a scar that is approximately 4" long running across the top of my head. When I was 7 years old, I went on a field trip to the Sun Valley swimming pool with my daycare. Someone had the nerve to doubt that I could do a back dive off the side of the pool. I proved them wrong. This caused several people to become interested in the spectacle, which caused me to do another back dive. And another back dive.

On the 4th dive, just before I was to plunge into the water, I hit my head on the side of the pool. There was much blood, the pool had to be evacuated and I had to be rushed to the hospital for stitches.

Moral of the story. No body's perfect. No seriously, the moral would be...don't show off even though it's really cool that at age 7 you can do a back dive.

3. I was 18 when I watched a Green Peace documentary about the life of a chicken from the time they hatch until they end up at the grocery, I quit eating them. I didn't have a bite of chicken for almost 6 years. To this day, I have a hard time eating chicken. I rarely cook it or order it at restaurants. Scary stuff.

4. After I get a few chapters into a book, I usually read the last few pages to see how the story ends. It doesn't ruin the book for me...I like to see how the story unfolds.

5. Before I die, I am going to learn how to rappel and scuba dive, and take fencing and golf lessons. (Mark says I have to wait until Cammie goes to college to learn to rappel...our life insurance doesn't cover "dangerous hobbies").

6. Ducks make me nervous. When I was little, my Grandma or Papaw would take me to the park near their house to feed the ducks. Once, they clustered around me and pecked at me to get me to drop the bread I was holding. It's 25 years later and when I take the kids to feed the ducks, I still get anxious.

7. I LOVE old cemeteries. In every city that we visit, Mark indulges me by seeking out the oldest cemetery. I love to wander around looking for the oldest marker and reading the headstones.

Happy Birthday Forrest!

2008-03-01T20:34:00.004-06:00

My baby is 14. Too weird.

Even weirder (is that a word?), he'll get his drivers permit next year. Hmmm...that's not weird, that's scary. Danger, danger.

Instead of a cake, he requested the Apple Dumplings that Renee had mentioned on her blog (www.reneecamacho.blogspot.com) earlier in the week. (Ummm...they were not very conducive to holding candles, but hey, what's wrong with a few wonky candles on your birthday)?

I have to say, they were tasty. With 2 sticks of butter how could they not be?

After lunch with all of the granparents, Mark and I took Forrest and Brandon to see the Spiderwick Chonicles at the Imax. Very intense.

New link...

2008-02-29T17:53:00.003-06:00

Notice the new link to the right?

I started a "photo a day blog" for the last 306 days in 2008.

Log on tomorrow for numero uno.

I will post a pic a day, I will post a pic a day, I will...

Leap baby...

2008-02-29T16:04:00.003-06:00

Well...almost.

Forrest was born on March 1, 1994. Had he been born in '92 (which would have made me 14...as if 16 wasn't bad enough) or in '96, he would have been a Leap Baby.

Every year, we have the "How old would I be if I were born on a leap year" conversation.

Hmm...he would be 3 or 4 this year.

That would explain a lot.

She's got a point...

2008-02-28T20:29:00.000-06:00

Background: Cammie is obsessed with why God "gave" us things (and death, but that's a story for another day). She is constantly asking us why God wanted us to name her Cammie, why God chose Forrest to be her brother, why He wants us to live in this house, why He gave her freckles...and on and on and on.

Today...in the car... Cammie is wearing a blue hoodie sweatshirt that she forgot that she owned. It has little flowers embroidered all over it, and she loves it.

She says "God gave me this hoodie because He loves me and wanted me to have it, right"?

I say "Welllll, no baby. Mommy got you that sweatshirt because she thought you would look cute in it". (In my mind, I was thinking that technically He gave us the funds to purchase the sweatshirt, but I wasn't realy in the mood to get into the in depth discussion that was sure to follow if I mentioned that).

Chloe says "Actually, He did. He gave us the cotton that made her hoodie".

How clever is she?

Snow day...

2008-02-27T16:20:00.004-06:00

The kids were excited to wake up and hear that they were out of school for the day.

Cammie loved watching the snow from inside the warm, dry house. Forrest is really the only one who enjoys romping around in the frigid air with snow dampened clothes on. Cammie and Chloe went out on the deck when it snowed a few weeks ago. Within minutes, they were back in the kitchen, peeling off their layers of clothing with numb fingers.

The girls went to their friend Madeline's for awhile this morning, leaving me to my book.

Forrest wandered down, looking bored, so I challenged him to a game of Scrabble. I have a history of winning...not that I'm competitive or keeping track or anything. This time, he came close to winning. The score was 277 to 285. I must admit, when he laid down the word "starch", I was impressed. When he added "corn" to it for a score of 58 points, I was very impressed.

I've been thinking about starting another blog...a 366 photo blog. Only, mine would be like a "9 months of a photo a day" since I am obviously behind. I began taking a picture a day on January 1st. By January 15th, I was off the wagon. I enjoy looking at a few others, especially Renee's, and that has almost inspired me to start back up. I think in the beginning, I was making it harder than necessary...waiting for the "right" shot for the day, instead of focusing on the mundane things that make up our life. Hmmm...not sure yet. If I do, I'll launch it March 1st...that whole OCD-start-on-the-first-of-the-month-thing and all.

Anonymous...

2008-02-22T18:05:00.005-06:00

I want to apologize for not updating on more frequent basis.

Before the apology, I would like to explain why I don't post on a regular basis... (I actually do post on a regular basis...every two weeks or so, but I realize that may be less regular than some would like).

In general, I am a perfectionist with Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. At some point, I got it into my head that I should only post in these three instances:

1. I had something important to report.

2. I had something witty to say.

3. We (our family) did something fun and interesting and worthy of sharing.

And, if you have OCD, you know that it is very difficult to override something that you have "gotten in your head".

There have been a few times over the last few days that I have thought about posting even though my criteria were not met.

Actually, my last post didn't meet the criteria, but I was frustrated, and thought that this would be a great place to vent and posted anyway.

So, today, I was getting my hair "done" (by my wonderfully talented, extremely cute and wildly entertaining sister...yes, that was a shameless plug for her business...email me if you want her business card)...

Where was I, hair, oh yes. So, she mentioned that she had showed my blog to our cousin. (This was a good sign that she found my blog mildly entertaining and therefore worth sharing...hmm...maybe I should post more often).

She goes on to say that the post about Hot Yoga made her laugh out loud...more than once. (Yes, I should post more often...).

And then, she says "That last thing you wrote...the thing about the cookies?"

Me "Yeah"?

She "That one wasn't funny." (Oh yeah, I'll definitely be posting more often).

Me "Well, sorry I disappointed you".

She "Don't worry, I'll still read it (gee, thanks) , I'm nosey".

Not sure if that conversation has helped me decide to post more often or not...

Moving on...

Okay, so, what can I report on...

Family outings:

When we were at the circus last month, we saw an advertisement for the Toughest Cowboy Rodeo. We had never been to a rodeo before, so we decided to take the kids. They LOVED it. Especially the horses. The lighting was off, so I didn't get many great pics...but here is one I like:

Cammie had Pajama Day at school. She looked exceptionally cute, if I do say so myself...

We went to orientation at JPII earlier this week. Due to his report card grades, we were expecting Forrest to be placed in the CP (college prep) classes, which are basically regular high school classes. We were surprised to find out that he was placed in ALL Advanced classes. Evidently his scores on the entrance exam were phenomenal. This means that he will be able to take AP classes beginning next year for college credit.

Now, if we can convince him that it is actually necessary to complete and turn in homework, we'll be all set.

Hmm...what else...oh, tomorrow is our last day of cookie booths. After tomorrow, I will be able to park my truck in the garage again, and other than a few more money things, and deposit things, we will be FINISHED with all things cookie.

And now, for that apology...I apologize. I will work on being a better blogger.

Cookie Monster...

2008-02-14T13:44:00.011-06:00

If you are reading this, and your mom was ever your Girl Scout Troop Leader, or the "Cookie Mom" for your troop...STOP reading, GO to the phone, CALL her up and THANK HER PROFUSELY.

Seriously, when I signed up to be the Co-Leader of Chloe's troop, I had NO idea what went into it. Now, I know it's things that I didn't have a lot of to begin with.

Things like:

1- PATIENCE. Now, this may come as a complete shock to some of you (yes, that was sarcasm), but I was not at the front of the line when the good Lord was passing out patience. This has never been more evident than when I am faced with 16 K-3rd graders that are loud, lacking self-control of any sort and hyped up on sugar every other Tuesday for two hours.

2-TIME. When I was asked to co-lead, I thought, sure, no problem. Two hours a week every other week, how hard is that? Well...no one mentioned the hours that go into planning the meetings, the hours of driving here, there and everywhere to acquire things for the meetings, hours on the phone trying to coordinate field trips, hours at training sessions, and HOURS dealing with all things cookies.

Last Saturday, Rachel (the other leader) and I spent 3 hours at the cookie distribution center sorting out our cases of cookies and loading them onto a cart. Then, having them recounted by a "cookie person", then, loading all 180 cases into my truck.

Next, we unloaded all 180 cases into my garage, sorted the cases into a stackfor each of the 16 girls, then rechecked the leftovers for future booth sales. We spent the next 4 hours, distributing the cookies to the girls in our troop. That evening, I sorted Chloe's 382 boxes of cookies into piles...church, family, friends, school, etc.

Sunday, there was a line down the center aisle after church. It took an hour to hand out about half of the cookies that everyone ordered. Came home, and for two hours, distributed more cookies to troop girls. Back to church, another hour of distribution.

Monday was spent driving around delivering cookies, and then two hours after school of troop distribution.

Today, 3 hours of driving around delivering cookies.

Tomorrow, 2 hours of driving and distributing.

Tomorrow night, we have two hours of booths.

Saturday, 6 hours.

Monday, 6 hours.

And, now you see why I am turning into a Cookie Monster (translation- grumpy due to cookie exhaustion).

On a happier note...I am getting to spend a good bit of quality time with Chloe, she loves that her mom is the leader, and she is the Top Seller in our troop...which means that she gets a patch stating that fact and a stuffed poodle for all of our hard work. Yay for quality time and stuffed poodles.

Too strange...

2008-02-05T22:36:00.000-06:00

My friend Rachel happened to be in the car with me while I was doing the school pick ups yesterday. When we picked up this guy:

we happened to be talking about voting. He listens for a minute and then says "You know, I'll be voting in the next election".

What????????

There is just something wrong with that.

Never mind that he doesn't even pick out his own clothes. Forget about the fact that if not reminded, his teeth would go unbrushed for an indefintate length of time.

How has time passed so quickly? Where did the last 14 years go? Everyone says "they grow up so fast", but in reality, they grow up in a second.

In four years, not only will he be voting, but he'll be out in the world, making decisions. Decisions, that he may or may not allow me to vote on. Strange. Scary.

Jesus, cover me with grace. I pray for that grace to fill in all of the gaps that my inadequate parenting leaves behind. Keep him for your purpose and glory Lord.

Lost and found...

2008-02-01T17:35:00.000-06:00

We are not into TV. If you've ever been to our house, I know that may be hard to believe. Three fairly large television sets would seem to suggest that the inhabitants watch a large amount of TV.

If you count Hannah Montana, Charlie & Lola, and Dora, we are guilty of indulging.

What I'm talking about here though, is actual regular TVviewing... by the adults in the house. And that just doesn't happen very often. Mostly, this is because TV in general is full of garbage.

Mark and I like to watch The O'Reilly Factor a few times a month, we like the auditions of American Idol and then the last 4 or 5 episodes...and that about sums up our TV time.

Two years ago, my friend Amy told me about this show she had heard about. How she had rented the first two seasons and watched them in one weekend, and how much I would like the show.

Now, I understood how someone could get attached to a show...I had that same attachment to Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place back in the day.

Somehow, watching back episodes of the same show hour upon hour in order to "catch up" and be able to understand the current episodes just seemed like too much trouble.

Fast forward two years (that would bring us to last night)...I was sitting on the couch, researching things to do in St. Louis. I had the TV on, watching for school closings (so my poor son didn't stand at the bus stop freezing to death while waiting on a bus that wasn't coming...again).

The news goes off. The show that fills in what had happened in previous seasons comes on.

I found LOST.

Why didn't someone tell me what I've been missing??? (Okay, I know, I was told, why wasn't I told again)???

Mark came in half way through the premier. He smirked when I told him what I was watching. After changing clothes, he plops down on the couch and proceeds to question me about what's happening in the show (thanks to the pre-show, I was able to help fill him in).

So, what's a girl to do when she realizes she is 3 seasons behind? Well, she begins by spending 4 hours on the internet reading the background of each character. Then, she goes out and rents the first 12 episodes. Her husband picks up chinese take-out for dinner and they spend a fabulous evening getting a start on catching up on the last 3 seasons so that they are prepared for next Thursday nights show .

Three hours later...

2008-01-31T16:56:00.000-06:00

Hannah and Sophie's Spring Break falls on the same week as Forrest's this year...this is only the second time in 6 years that this has happened.

We gave the kids a choice: camping at Big South Fork National Park with day trips to places like Rugby, Tennessee and a ride on an open-air train, or a trip to St. Louis.

I thought for sure the kids would choose St. Louis. Mark and I had taken the kids there when I was 7 months pregnant with Cammie. They LOVED it. There are a ton of cool things to do in St. Louis and most of them are FREE. Free...sounds good to me.

But, nope, they chose camping.

I spent three hours this morning researching campsites and day trips in and around the park. To find interesting things off the beaten path, I ordered the Kentucky version of this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Kids-Love-Tennessee-Exploring-Children-Year/dp/0972685421/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201820889&sr=1-2

After all that, I find out that the train doesn't run between the first of December and the middle of April...which is two weeks after Spring Break.

Three hours...gone. Frustrating.

Anyhoo...I guess that means camping and trains will wait until the end of May.

St. Louis...here we come.

p.s. If you live in Tennessee, I highly recommend the book above. It has led us to all kinds of interesting places.

It's gettin' hot in here...

2008-01-28T09:59:00.000-06:00

Well, not here exactly, but at Hot Yoga.

A friend of mine had tried out a session at the new Hot Yoga studio, and suggested that I try it.

She said that it was "really relaxing" (not interesting me too much), that the temperature in the studio was set between 95 degrees and 105 degrees (yes Fahrenheit, and my minimal interest was fading fast), and that the humidity was set to 40 percent. My interest at this point...zero.

I guess she could tell by my highly arched eyebrows that I was less than enthusiastic about the prospect of paying good money to die of a heat stroke. Then, she said the words that made my interest level go from zero to 100 in seconds. "You burn between 700 and 900 calories in one session".

Oh yeah, I'm interested. (I wonder how many Weight Watcher "activity points" that translates into)?

I ask what I need for the class, and she says a mat, sweat towel, comfortable clothes and water...lots of water.

Now, after my recent sessions with Ashley, I am aware of my physical limitations. I ask my (very fit) friend if everyone that goes to Hot Yoga looks like Madonna (who does Hot Yoga on a regular basis)? She says "no, there are all shapes and sizes and all different fitness levels in a session".

So, I head to Hot Yoga in sweat pants and a t-shirt, carrying my pink mat, 3 bottles of water and a hand towel. I arrive 10 minutes before the session begins (proud of myself for getting there early, because, surely you have to sign a waiver in order to exercise in a steam room).

The cheerleader that walked into the studio ahead of me had me rethinking this whole "all different fitness levels" thing. And when the very trim lady behind the counter looked at my sweat pants and then asked "this would be your first session, correct ?", I was all but over the whole experience.

I nod yes and Trim-counter-lady says that "first-timers" need to arrive 30 minutes before their sessions so that they can "acclimate to the extreme conditions in which the postures are performed"... could I please come back the next day?

Feeling an equal mix of disappointment and relief, I headed back out to my truck, yoga mat and water in hand.

I considered taking this as "a sign" that I should avoid Hot Yoga. Alas (still love that word), curiosity and stubbornness prevailed, and 4 days later, I went back to the studio.

This time, I arrived 35 minutes early and wore capri work out pants. Proud of myself for being prepared, I toted my pink yoga mat, 3 water bottles and hand towel in to try again.

Trim-counter-lady looks over my attire (doesn't flinch, which I considered minor victory #1) and says "You came back, good". Hmm...not sure how that was meant because her face is emotionless.

"Sign here" she says (see, I knew there had to be a waiver). Glancing at me again she notes "mat, water, good". "Do you have a towel" she asks.

Thinking that maybe all the steam in the lobby has blurred her vision, I wave my very-visible-hot-pink hand towel and say "Yep". (Chalk that up as minor victory #2).

Emotionless-trim-counter-lady gives me a little smile (I'll stop short of calling it patronizing), reaches under the counter and pulls out...an over sized beach towel. (Erase minor victory #2).

Trim-counter-lady comes out from behind the counter and says that she will help me get set up. We walk down a hallway, and before she opens the door to the Studio, she informs me that I should lie on my mat, eyes closed, focused on my breathing and that there is no talking in the studio. Okay, got it.

I set my waters down, unroll my mat and begin to lie down. She wags a finger at me, I step back, she unrolls the over sized beach towel and covers my mat with it. With a smile (genuine this time), she leaves me to breathe.

I breathe. It's dark. It's quiet. There is soft music playing...a flute with chirping bird noises in the background.

My ponytail is jabbing me in the back of the head. I sit up, take out my ponytail holder and pull my hair into a bun high on the top of my head. As I wrap the rubberband around my hair, it snaps and shoots across the room. Not good.

I lie back down and think that this is a definite sign that I should have paid attention to the sign I was given 4 days ago, and just let the whole Hot Yoga thing go.

Did I mention I was stubborn? I was not going back out into the lobby to ask for a rubber band and I was definitely not rolling up my mat and leaving, so, I laid there, breathing and cursing ponytail makers.

Others come in, ready there mats and breathe. I wonder a few times about the towel she laid on my mat.

The door opens and the instructor comes in and talks in a quiet, solemn voice. The voice instructs us to stand, feet together with our hands by our sides. When I stand, I find that the voice belongs to trim-counter-lady.

5 minutes into the session, I had already learned several lessons.

(1) the towel on my mat is there to soak up the gallons of sweat, otherwise, my yoga mat would be a pink Nike slip-in-slide

(2) I'm not as flexible as I used to be (big surprise there)

(3) there are actually people that have less stamina than I...this determined by the fact that
two people laid down on their mat at about minute four and stayed there for the next
86 minutes

While I performed most of the postures in a less than graceful manner, I did make it through the entire class. This in spite of the fact that I was constantly being slapped in the face by wild strands of soaking wet hair (did I say that I cursed ponytail makers everywhere).

The best part of the class was the very end. No, not because it was over, but because as we were laying on our mats, palms up, eyes closed, the instructor, walked around the room and dropped ice cold, lavender scented wash cloths into our hands. It smelled heavenly, and it cooled off the inferno that was my face.

When I got home, Forrest asked me why I took a shower at the gym and then put my sweaty clothes back on...that is how wet my hair was...it looked like I had just got out of the shower.

I went for a second session, with back up ponytail holders this time.

I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I have 8 more sessions in my trial package. Not sure if I'll go after those are used up. Just not sure.

One thing that I am sure about...it is definitely Hot.

There are positives...like those 700-900 calories that are left soaking into the towel. The first five minutes and the last five minutes are relaxing...of course these are times that you get to lay still, in the dark with soothing music. Also, you can actually clear your mind (which is supposed to help reduce stress) by practicing yoga. I happen to think this is because all of your thoughts are focused on keeping yourself from falling over due to heat exhaustion.

We'll see.

Weekend happenings...

2008-01-14T18:51:00.001-06:00

Chloe's Brownie Troop had a sleepover at the DiscoveryCenter in Murphreesboro on Friday night. This was her first major outing since her surgery, so we didn't actually sleep over. We left at "lights out" (which she was NOT happy about). She was asleep before we hit the interstate.

We have 18 girls in our troop, and it can be...interesting at times. Fortunately for the city of Murphreesboro, the girls were locked in the building. We were the only troop there, so the girls had the run of the museum.

There were two college age girls in charge. I must say, they were very patient. They helped the troop make pizza's for dinner, make puppets and put on several (and I do mean several) different puppet shows.

Here's a pic of Chloe and her sock puppet named Chili. Chili was in the skit about fire safety. She reminded us that in case of a fire, we should "stop, drop and drop. Just drop!".

If you need any Girl Scout Cookies (who doesn't need Girl Scout cookies?) , email me. I will deliver in and around Nashville.

Due to all of the excitement of the past few months, we felt like the kids were in need of some good old fashioned quality family time.

A few years ago, we started Exploring. There are two ways to Explore.

One: We all load into the car and the kids take turns saying left or right, stay on (the interstate) or exit, until we end up at some interesting place. This mode of Exploring has led us to some really cool places. For example, the Shaker Museum in Kentucky.

http://www.shakermuseum.com/galleries/index.cfm?cr=126

On this particular adventure, we also found an Octagonal shaped house that was used in the Civil War as a Confederate lookout, and had ice cream at a dairy barn that was hosting an antique tractor pull.

The other way to Explore is to find a destination in a book or on the web and then find and do all of the historic and/or interesting things you find en route. Using this method, we have found several different waterfalls, museums, and festivals.

Saturday morning, we packed a picnic lunch and headed up the Natchez Trace Parkway in search of Merriwether Lewis' burial site.

We stopped at Loveless Cafe for breakfast but left for Shoney's when we found out that there was a 90 minute wait.

After breakfast, we spent the day wandering along the trace.

On the way home, thanks to the handy dandy navigation device, we discovered that we were only 20 minutes away from here:

http://www.sodapopjunction.com/

We love to watch "Unwrapped" on the Food Channel. This place was featured on a show about Soda Fountains. We ate there a few years ago, and it was tasty. The kids were super excited when they realized where we were.

Here are a few pics from our day...

Catching up...

2008-01-11T11:50:00.000-06:00

Ahh...let's see...what's new around here...

We made it through the Holidays.

Forrest was accepted into JPII.

The house is back into pre-holiday shape and looks bare to me.

And, we have officially closed our Infirmary.

Mark's mom moved into her new home last week. She's still in a wheelchair, but she has adapted to it. In fact, she's conquered it. She can do just about everything...except drive and walk. In a few weeks the doctor will replace her pink cast with a boot.

Chloe went back to school today. She has lost 12 pounds, and although her appetite isn't back to it's pre-surgery state, she is eating again.

She still talks a bit funny and the doctor wants to check her again in one month. If she doesn't sound better, another procedure may have to be performed. We are just believing that she will be fine by her next appointment.

As for my word for the year...discipline...it seems to be sticking.

One of my Christmas gifts from Mark was a Personal Trainer. I began working out with her on Tuesday.

I had to go in at 12 due to some other things going on that day. I was happy to find the gym mostly empty (there were only two other people working out). Ashley (my trainer) was busy with someone else when I got there, so I started "warming up" on the treadmill.

She came over, we chatted...well, she chatted, I answered in short syllables between huffs and puffs.

Now, one of my rules when selecting a trainer was NO BARBIES ALLOWED. I mean seriously, I already feel bad enough about my less than stellar physique...I definitely don't think a tee-tiny-perfectly-made-up-peppy-little-Barbie-in-a-skin-tight-work-out-outfit is going to help me in the ole self-esteem department.

Ashley, is fit. Ashley is trim. Ashley looks athletic. Ashley looks realistic. Ashley doesn't put on a full face of make-up to go to the gym to work out. I like Ashley.

First, we measure, weigh, and figure BMI. Joy of joys. Don't you love it when you read on the little American Heart Association chart that no, you're not "a little overweight", no, you don't have "just a few pounds to lose", and no, you're not "big boned". Nope, what you are is OBESE.

Now, that is just an awful, hateful word. Unfortunately, it's the truth. If only I were 5'7...sigh. Tall people get to weigh more and I really don't think that's very fair. I mean, they already get out of having to ask for help while reaching for things on the top shelf at the grocery, why do they get to eat more too?

Where was I, oh, yes, obese. So that was fun.

Then we were off to assess my "fitness". HA.

Fit. I was fit. I was strong. Now, I am an obese weakling. Nothing like a good ole dose of the truth to help in the DISCIPLINE department.

Three words threw my hopes of having retained a shred of said fitness while on my march to obeseness...WEIGHT BENCH LUNGES.

What's a weight bench lunge you ask?

You put your left foot up on a weight bench (that's about 24" off the ground) to form a 90 degree angle. You hold onto a shoulder height bar with your right hand. Then, this is the fun part, you push your left foot onto the bench to rise to a standing position on the bench, and tap your right foot on the bench. Replace right foot on the floor. Repeat. Fifteen times.

Go do bicep work.

Come back to weight bench. Repeat. 15 more times.

By the third and last set of 15, I was DYING.

Ashley, God bless her. She called me Wonder Woman. Really loudly. In an "outside voice" loud voice. Yes. She did. A few times. Especially during the lunges.

Did I say I was glad the gym was empty? Because, let me tell you, I did not look like Wonder Woman. I looked like Puff the Obese Dragon doing less than graceful lunges.

On Wednesday, I could barely, and I do mean barely, make it up and down the stairs in the house.

On Thursday, I was sure we would work my calves and not my quads. Oh no, not so. More quads. I can barely walk.

Just thinking about how my buns and thighs are going to feel if I have to squat into a chair is enough to keep me standing and avoiding the toilet.

You know what though, it feels so good. Good to know that I am taking control and forcing my body back into shape.

I can't decide if Ashley is my least favorite person...or my new most favorite.

Another New Year

2008-01-02T10:40:00.000-06:00

A few years ago, I gave up "resolutions". This, after I realized my "resolve" dissolved before January 3rd.

It seemed so un-American to give up a tradition of setting oneself up for failure... so, in the spirit of sticking to my American roots, I decided to go the non-conformist route and have "New Years Intentions".

At the time, there was some quote niggling at the back of my mind, but it never surfaced and I brushed it aside.

Last year, one of my intentions was to lose the 15 pounds that I had regained.

What did I do to follow through on that good intention...let's see...I developed an unquenchable thirst for $1 sweet teas at Mc Donalds (while fully intending to order a salad and un-sweet tea), canceled my membership at a gym that was 2 minutes from my house so that I could join one 17 minutes from my house (intending to go more often because it wasn't overcrowded like the first gym), ordering an appetizer, salad, entree and dessert just about every time we ate out (intending to take a bite of the appetizer and and dessert in an exercise of self-control, but eating my fair share instead).

As I stepped on the scale yesterday and realized that I now have, well, it's not necessary to name the horrifying number...suffice it to say I wish I only had those 15 to lose... I thought maybe I need a new word for the year.

While thinking about what that word should be, I started searching quotes. I found the one about intentions. Now I know I should have listened to that inner voice that was trying to get my attention.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions". -Karl Marx

The wind was knocked out of me when I read that. Not because of the weight thing, but because of more serious "intentions" I had last year...intentions of reading my bible more, intentions of praying more than ever before, intentions of developing a relationship with Jesus beyond what I've ever had.

I found another quote, and had I read it while first stating my intentions, the results may have been different.

"Power is the capacity to translate intention into reality and then sustain it."

No resolutions or intentions this year, just a word to focus on.

DISCIPLINE.

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." -Jim Rohn

“If I want to be great I have to win the victory over myself... self-discipline.”-Harry Truman

I'm going to the gym today...more importantly, I'm spending some extra time with the Lord.

Twas the night before Christmas...

2007-12-24T10:20:00.000-06:00

Because we all want to be politically correct, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO_vbadvmCc

A shout out to Mrs. Clause...

2007-12-21T18:08:00.000-06:00

I was thinking the other day (yes, I know that can be scary) about this whole Santa thing. And while I love Santa and realize that without his financial backing, well there wouldn't be a workshop around here. I do however have an observation or two to make. Like, the fact that Mrs. Clause rarely receives the credit she deserves and seemingly plays a supporting roll next to his leading one.

Observations:

1-Santa, checks his list TWICE.
Mrs. Clause, no less that 27 times.

2-Mrs. Clause makes the list. Without her, he wouldn't have a list to check once, much less
twice.

3-Mr. Clause doesn't actually read the list, it is read to him...by Mrs. Clause.

4-Mrs. Clause, not Santa hires the elves. (That would be the babysitter that turns into wrapper
elf when the Mrs. realizes that she can't possibly wrap all the gifts herself and that Mr. Clause
would be content to slap a bow on the plastic Target bag that Mrs. Clause's gift came in).

5-Santa does not realize the delicate balance of the equal amount of presents to equal value of
present ratio that his children understand and are quick to point out.

6-Mr. Clause doesn't know whose been naughty or nice unless he gets his evening report...from
the Mrs.

7-Mrs. Clause also oversees the decorating, the catering, and the mandatory appearances.
Santa, merely nods in approval (if he notices), passes out a compliment on the tastiness, and
shows up.

8-Santa really doesn't have a clue as to what an age appropriate gift is, which girl is into Hannah
Montana and which is into High School Musical.

Now, the positives... Santa is definitely trainable...he is now quite adept at stuffing Mrs. Clause's stocking, buying her gifts before Christmas Eve and funding the Christmas Workshop that is ran by the Mrs.

Keep it to yourself...

2007-12-15T10:06:00.000-06:00

Cammie and I were at Joanns buying a last minute addition to my sister's Christmas gift. There were two 60ish women standing in the middle of the aisle, talking. Blocking our passage through the aisle.

We wait for 30 seconds or so. Cammie, gets tired of waiting on the conversing-not-shopping ladies and says politely "excuse me please". (I was impressed with her manners).

The ladies give me a look like Cammie had said "move it Grannies, we're in a hurry and you're hogging the aisle".

As we pass, I say loud enough for them to hear, "I like the way you used your manners, that was so polite".

At Joanns, you wait in line for the next available cashier. Of course they end up in line directly behind us.

Cammie is sucking her thumb, it's been a long day, she's tired, when she's tired, she sucks her thumb.

The following scene happened:

Lady1: "Get that thumb out of your mouth, you're too big for that."

Lady2: "Ewww, it's disgusting to put you're thumb in you're mouth."

Cammie: Looks them straight in the eye and keeps sucking her thumb.

Me: "Well, she thinks it's very tasty."

Lady1:"I'm sure, and it'll give her very pretty teeth too."

Right at that moment, it was my turn to head to a cashier.

Let me say this. They are very lucky that I:

(1) am a Christian and no longer cuss.

(2) respect my elders.

(3) have great self control when it comes to ignorant, negative, busy bodies.

My pediatrician doesn't mind that she sucks her thumb.

Our pediatric dentist says that 9 of 10 kids have braces anyways.

The kid was sucking her thumb in utero, on the ultrasound. Not an easy habit to break.

It's noones business if she sucks her thumb, but mine and my husbands. We can afford braces.

Future reference for little ladies that feel it's their right and duty to comment on my child and her thumb:

KEEP YOUR UNSOLICITED OPINIONS AND NEGATIVITY TO YOURSELF, I'M NOT INTERESTED.

As we headed out of the store, Cammie stared them down, thumb in mouth. That's my girl.

Shady Acres- Home For The Infirm

2007-12-10T17:10:00.000-06:00

Bet ya didn't know we were going into the convalescent business, did ya? That's okay, neither did we.

Our new adventure started on Saturday December 1st.

Mark's mom is building a house down the street from us. She had sold her old house and had to be out by the 1st. The new house is supposed to be finished the first week of January. The plan was for her to stay with us until her house was available.

We spent all day on the 1st moving her into a POD and our house. That evening, she fell asleep on our couch. She has back trouble and we were worried that sleeping on our very attractive but not so comfortable sectional would aggravate the problem...so, we woke her up to go to bed.

Half way up the stairs...she fell. Hard. She hit her head on the hardwood floors and was knocked unconscious. There was a lot of blood, her eyes were open and she wasn't responding.

We called 911 and rushed her to the hospital. A neighbor came to stay with Cammie, Chloe and Forrest...who all saw it happen, (thank God for good neighbors).

After several hours, it was determined that she had a concussion and that she had shattered her heel. The doctors were not too concerned with her concussion, but very concerned with her heel.

Evidently, your heel is one of the worst possible bones to break in your body. Who knew?

We brought her home and spent Sunday and Monday renting a wheel chair, buying crutches, building a wheelchair ramp and making appointments with the Orthopedic Specialist.

Her appointment with the specialist was set for Tuesday.

Tuesday morning, Cammie woke up with her eyes matted shut. Chloe had one eye semi-matted. Lovely.

Instead of the Orthopedic doctor, I was on my way to the pediatrician. One case of pink eye (Cammie), one case of an eye cold (Chloe) and some serious fluid behind ears (Chloe again), we were on our way home.

Chloe has been nearly deaf for almost a week. She collects fluid behind her ears due to some weird thing with her adenoids. She is having her tonsils and adenoids removed and tubes put in her ears the day after Christmas. Hopefully that will help with her hearing problems...that, or we are going to have to get the poor kid a hearing aid. The volume that we have to talk in order for her to understand us, plus the level of volume on the TV required for her to hear it, are creating some serious noise pollution around here.

Okay, so while I am getting all of the good EYE news, Mark is hearing from the Ortho doctor that his moms foot is too swollen to do surgery on. That she has to come back the following Tuesday (tomorrow) for a recheck. That after the surgery, she won't be able to walk or drive for 3 months.

Over the weekend, Hannah had a migraine and a stomach ache.

This morning, I went to wake Chloe up for school...and she was covered in a red rash. I called the doctor's office. The lady on the phone said that it was probably Fifths Disease, but I could bring her in if I wanted to.

Is it Fifths Disease? Where she can go back to school tomorrow because once the rash appears, you're not contagious? No. Of course not. She has Scarlet Fever (basically strep with a rash). Where she has to stay home at least through Wednesday. Where I can't finish my Christmas shopping by my deadline of December 11th. Where we have to miss THE most important Girl Scout meeting of the year (the one where I explain to all the parents the ins and outs of selling Girl Scout Cookies).

I'm not sure here, but I think that caring for people with pink eye, an eye cold, migraines, stomach viruses, wheelchair bound heel injuries, strep throat, scary skin rashes, tonsil/adenoidectomy, tubes in their ears, and a little "snip snip" procedure (that would be Mark) in less than a one month span qualifies us as a convalescent center.

One thing I can say for sure... life is interesting.

Chicago...warning: a few too many pictures

2007-11-29T10:02:00.000-06:00

Here is a rundown of Chicago + Kids...something new for us. All of the kids want to go to Chicago with us. For years, we have promised "when you're older" (translation...when we don't need car seats, strollers, or sippy cups, when you learn not to whine, complain or gripe and can walk for blocks and blocks and blocks impervious to the cold).

Six and a half years later, Forrest and Hannah reached the point where they fit most of the criteria..if we held out for all of the criteria, I doubt any of five would ever make the cut.

It was snowing heavily when we landed, which excited the kids to no end. Unfortunately, it hadn't been cold enough, long enough and it melted as soon as it hit the ground.

After checking in, we decided to go see this: http://www.beemovie.com/

The theatre is HUGE and along the halls are really cool murals. Here's the fam...saying cheese...

We ended up canceling our reservations at Fulton's when Mark found out that their had been a cancellation at one of our favorite Chicago restaraunts. Still, this is as close as we came to a turkey:

We had pasta instead...magnifico pasta. We'll have turkey at Christmas.

Friday morning, we started off by checking out the Lego store. The dinosaur, buildings and camera are made completely out of Legos.

And then, we headed here:

http://www.artic.edu/aic/collections/eurptg/index.php

I couldn't believe that photography was allowed inside the museum. You could also walk right up to the paintings...they were not enclosed in glass. Yes, we had to stop Forrest from touching this Monet and Hannah tried to touch a 500 year old bronze statue...hey, nobody's perfect, right?

I have this print hanging in my breakfast room. The original is breathtaking and makes my "reproduction" look, well, like a flea-market knock off. I tried to talk Mark into aquiring the original for my Christmas present. Unfortunately Cezanne originals... are a bit pricey.

After the Art Institute, we walked to Marshall Fields on State (it's actually Macy's now, but it had been Fields since 1907 and there was a public backlash when Macy's bought the store and promptly changed the name. The granite cornerstones of the building are still engraved with their original name, so haha to Macy's...not that I have anything against Macy's. Anyhoo, the windows are decorated with a different them each year. This year the theme is The Nutcraker. Afterwards, we had lunch here:

Hannah refused to order this because she didn't want to say the name. Forrest wanted to order just so he could say the name.

After Lunch, Mark had to head to the convention center to oversee the booth set up. The kids and I headed back to the hotel for a nap. Hannah and I had reservations for dinner here:

http://www.americangirl.com/stores/experience_bistro.php

and tickets to see this:

http://www.americangirl.com/stores/experience_theater.php#holiday

We had planned on dropping her doll off here:

http://www.americangirl.com/stores/experience_salon.php

while we had dinner. Hannah had also been saving up to buy "Jamie" (that's her doll) a new outfit.

Due to a slight unforeseen wardrobe malfunction, Hannah needed a new outfit too. We ended up buying her this:

http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/html/MultiProductPage.jsf/itemId/572/itemType/DISPLAYGROUP/webTemplateId/4/uniqueId/217/saleGroupId/269

And Jamie got the matching outfit. Man, do I hate wardrobe malfunctions (that was for my husband who is suspicious that new girl/doll matching outfits were being plotted months ago...seriously, would I plot...no, don't answer that).

Unfortunately, due to the very real outfit crisis we experienced just before walking out of the hotel room, I forgot my camera. Oh. My. Good. Lord. I cannot believe I did that. Fortunately the very nice people at the store gave me a disposable camera to capture the big night. Love those people. Hopefully, they will turn out, I can save them to a disk and then upload...hopefully.

While we were having our girls night, Mark and Forrest went out for seafood...Forrest's favorite.

Saturday morning, we headed to Lou Mitchell's for breakfast. Here's what Fodor's has to say about Lou's... http://www.fodors.com/world/north%20america/usa/illinois/chicago/entity_134252.html

And then, we went to Union Station. This is where the part of The Untouhables was filmed. Remember the scene where Elliot Ness is at the bottom of the stairs and Al Capone is at the top and the baby carriage goes bouncing down the steps?

Next up was the Field Museum. Oh, how I love the Field Museum. First, we did the audio tour of MAPS. Sorry, no pics inside the exhibit which was very interesting. Instead, here's one from the entrance to the exhibit, and a link to the info on it... http://www.fieldmuseum.org/maps/

In order to go through the next exhibit...http://www.fieldmuseum.org/undergroundadventure/flash/VirtualTour.swf

...we had to go through a shrinking process. Here we are...being shrunk (Hannah and I didn't take very long):

This is one of the things we found Underground:

The kids loved the Egyptian exhibit...

And what would a trip to the Field be without visiting Sue? This is Sue's head:

The rest of sue is on display in the lobby. She is the most complete Tyrannasaurus Rex fossil. You can read more about her and find out why her head is not with the rest of her body, by looking here:

http://www.fieldmuseum.org/sue/index.html

After saying farewell to Sue, we walked to the Adler Planetarium. This is the one museum that Mark and I have never visited.

After the Planetarium, we had dinner at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Factory. Hannah wanted to bring this tag home with her:

Yes, we are still on Saturday...and we have one more stop before bed.

We went up to the SkyDeck on the Hancock Building. It was the tallest building in Chicago until the Sears tower was built. Here's a pic of the night sky...the tallest building in the pic is the Sears tower.

Sunday morning, Mark had to work the show, so the kids and I went to the Shedd Aquarium before our flight.

We all loved the lizards.

Hannah's favorite was the Dolphin show.

My favorite was the Sea Dragons...I tried to add them to my Christmas list too, but was told to erase them along with the Cezanne.

Oh Christmas Tree...

2007-11-21T20:24:00.000-06:00

The matchy-matchy tree has been trimmed. Yes, I know the suspense has been killing you. Believe me, it was killing me to have to wait to put it up.

I am happy to report that I am almost over my faux-tree phobia. If I close my eyes and inhale, the bonus room almost smells like pine. Okay, no it doesn't. I'm thinking about buying a pine-scented candle...or hiding a bough from our "big" tree under the bonus room tree skirt to help trick my senses into believing that a faux (doesn't faux sound so much classier than fake) tree is indeed as good as a real tree.

Also, I am proud of the fact that I assembled the tree all by myself. (That just sounds weird... up until now, I thought that God was the only one who assembled trees). After fluffing each branch, after standing back one hundred and ten times to make sure that there were no "holes", after asking Forrest (who is a 13 year old boy and could really care less) if he noticed any holes, or if he thought it was leaning a little to the left, and after making sure that it was secure enough that no one would yell "TIM-berrr" out of fear that they were about to be felled by a faux tree...I was happy.

Here are the pics in all their frou-frou glory:

I love, love, love the black glittery star and the red frou-frou fringe...yum!

The little guy above makes me smile every time I see him. Lovin' the curvy hat.

And there you have it. A snowman themed, matchy-matchy, frou-frou tree.

Now, I am off to bed. We have to be at the airport at early o'clock in the morning. We are headed to Chicago. Forrest and Hannah are making their first trip to Chi-town with us. Unfortunately there was not a turkey to be found in all of the Windy City, so we will be having dinner at Fulton's...a seafood restraunt. I am looking on the bright side and focusing on the fact that while we won't be dining on traditional Thanksgiving fare, we will be eating something other than $4 M&M's and $7 peanuts out of the mini-bar.

Christmas Tree talk...

2007-11-15T15:56:00.000-06:00

This morning, Cammie's teacher was running a few minutes late. Another mom and I were waiting with the kids and of course, I initiated small talk. (I can and will talk to anyone...something that baffles my husband. He's more of the "small talk is a waste of breath and energy why would I strike up a conversation with someone I don't know speak to strangers only when necessary" sort).

Where was I? Small talk, yes...so we began talking about Christmas Trees. I said that I was in the market for a fake tree for the bonus room. She said that her family has always put up a fake tree. I have always had a real tree. My mom always bought a real tree (a tiny scraggly real tree, but real nonetheless). Her parents put up a fake one. Hmmm. Interesting.

This led to the compromises we made with our husbands when merging our Christmas traditions.

Mark thought that a fake tree with mismatched ornaments and colored lights were required. (EEEK).

He thought that my "matchy-matchy" ornaments were too frou-frou, the white lights were too boring and that going out in the cold/haggling over the price/tying to the top of the vehicle/wrestling down from the top of the vehicle/sawing off the bottom of the trunk when it was invariably too tall/getting slathered with sap and looking like he'd been in a cat fight due to all of the pine needle scratches... was entirely too much effort to put into a Christmas tree.

So, we compromised. He agreed to a real tree and white lights...I gave into mismatched ornaments. (Honestly, I think I came out with the better end of the deal).

The first year, I had serious difficulty buying ornaments. My OCD driven brain could not comprehend it. I went to the store several times to buy ornaments and left empty handed. Until, a friend of mine (who understood my compulsion for ornaments that "made sense") suggested that each member of our family get a different kind of ornament. Ah ha. A theme for each person, genius. This gave my OCD brain not one theme, but seven. Seriously, could it get any better?

Mark has Santa ornaments, I have Nutcrackers, Forrest gets Gingerbread people, Hannah has Angel ornaments, Sophie has Snowmen, Chloe gets the Reindeer and Cammie, Bears.

We have co-existed in Christmas Tree merriment ever since. Mostly. Although I have conquered my ornament-buying-block, I still get googly eyed over the sumptuous matchy-matchy trees at 'Tis The Season, and I still feel a sense of calm when wandering through the themed ornament sections of Target.

This year, my ever indulgent husband agreed to let me put up a second tree in the bonus room. A MATCHY-MATCHY tree. Yes, I know, he is too good to me.

I have poured over magazines, catalogues and websites, looking for inspiration. I don't think that there is a Christmas tree aisle within a 20 mile radius that I haven't walked down. Finally I fell in love with a collection at Target. Chocolate, bronze, burnished gold = elegant. Sigh. I bought a tub of each color and the copper sprays to match.

All of the ornaments that I bought were solid. Hmmm. Need some pattern, some texture. A trip to Hobby Lobby should solve the problem.

Many an ornament was placed into the buggy. I spent 20 minutes digging through bins of "spray picks" to find the 15 needed to tuck into the branches. After 2 and a half hours of amassing the "perfect" ornaments, sprays and tree topper, my cart was full. And then, I put it all back. Yes, I did. Because, I just wasn't "feeling" it.

You see, the tree is going in our bonus room. Which, don't get me wrong, is a nice bonus room. But, trying to pull off a tree of the type I was envisioning would be a bit like putting on a ballgown and then dining at Shoney's. I mean, it's not the formal living room after all... it's the room where the kids play XBox and restaurant, where puzzles are assembled and the girls take turns being "the teacher".

Feeling a bit let down, berating myself for all of the time I had wasted, thinking about how this whole OCD thing can be a pain in the you know what, an inch from deciding that this second tree was not such a great idea, heading towards the checkout with my two nutcrackers and three gingerbread people, I found it. The PERFECT theme for the bonus room tree. I refilled my cart... in 15 minutes. Isn't it amazing what happens when genuine inspiration hits.

I am so excited to get this tree UP!

Oh, what is theme you ask? Well, you'll have to wait until it's up.

Confessions of a non-culinary sort...

2007-11-10T20:24:00.001-06:00

I have come to realize something about myself. Something I have been in denial about for quite awhile. A thing that I have tried to convince myself could and should be changed... I do not like to cook.

I don't like the prep work, I don't like the clean up. I don't like trying new culinary trends, and I don't like wondering whether or not my "delish" dish is going to be as "delish" as Rachel Ray (who means well, I'm sure) promises.

Now, I am ready to admit, that it's not worth it to me to try out things that may or may not taste as good as I hope. That my family may or may not eat.

It's okay for me to admit that I am fresh out of ideas when it comes to creating a healthy meal in the limited amount of time I have before karate, church or scouts in the evening.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes cooking is pleasurable. I actually enjoy laboring over lasagna...and I do find pleasure in mixing up a hearty pot of chili (maybe that's because those are two things that I have actually mastered). Unfortunately, man cannot live by chili and lasagna alone.

Luckily for me, I am now saved from the anguish and frustration that I have been tormenting myself with. No more guilt over entirely too many dinners out. No more wondering what all of the preservatives we have been inhaling are going to do to our bodies. No more sacrificing half of the food pyramid in favor of speed and ease. Most of all, no more beating myself up over not being enough like Rachel, Paula, Martha or Sandra.

I have found something to soothe not only my poor spatula beaten ego, but also my nutritional guilt. I have found: http://www.supperthymeusa.com/index.jsp

(Cue the choir of heavenly voices singing "hallelujah, hallelujah, hal-le-lu-jahhhh").

The lovely people at SupperThyme will prepare my entrees for me. Family friendly fare made with fresh ingredients, in a variety of tastes and all I have to do is call in my choices, swing by and pick them up, thaw, heat, and serve. Oh yes, now we're cookin'.

2007-11-07T13:18:00.000-06:00

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur... Isn't it funny how we are constantly looking to some milestone that marks when "things will slow down", only to pass the marker at 100mph and tell ourselves that surely, things will quiet down after the next marker?

I just knew that life would slow down when school started back, after we got through September, after the Fall festivities on October...and now, I am resigned to the fact that it will be January before I can savor a taste of boredom.

So, what has been keeping us so busy you ask (or maybe you don't)?

After the dual Pumpkin Patch visits and the Social Security office fun, there was the tour of JP2. We are almost through the application process, we have toured the building, met the headmaster (umm...glorified term for principal, but it does have a nice ring to it, no?), researched electives and began the rough draft of the required "Why I Want To Go To JP2" essay. Forrest tests on the 17th. Wish him and us luck (I've threatened to homeschool him if he doesn't get in...not sure who is more traumatized by that thought...him or me).

Mark and I went on a staff retreat with the leadership of our church. Wow. It was AMAZING. The seminars that were presented, the teaching by Bro. Black from Memphis, planning for next year, updates on the progress of our building program and hearing the vision of our church set forth, all led up to the revealing of our "theme" for next year...Living Beyond Yourself.

One of the cool things that happened was a secret contest. Everyone was given a badge on a lanyard to wear at the beginning of retreat. Four women had stars that they would place on the badges seemingly at random. Mark and I had a bit of a friendly competion going to see which of us would get the most stars. Right before we were dismissed, the ladies revealed what the starts were for...they gave you one when they "caught" you living beyond yourself by being, kind, selfless or thoughtful. The winner received a $50.00 gift card to Outback. Mark came in 3rd, I came in 2nd and a truly deserving guy came in 1st.

Next came Autumn Adventure at church. I headed up the decorating comittee. Lots of work...lots of fun. The theme this year was "At The Circus". Mark, Chloe and I dressed up like clowns, Cammie was our leopard and Forrest decorated a trunk with two of his friends. It was a blast. The best part...seeing my 6'4 husband in an inflatable clown costume. Can you say hillarious?

Forrest and his friends did an awesome job on their trunk. They went with a "Revenge of the Nerds" theme. They were so incredibly funny. People would stand in front of their trunk for 10 or 15 minutes just watching them interact with everyone. I wish I would have taped them. Everytime someone would touch them, they would wash their hands with hand-sanitizer, one of them would get so excited, he'd have to use his inhaler...too funny.

The biggest news...

Chloe, turned six. Unbelievable. Impossible. Unreal. I can't believe that my little Ladybug is big enough to earn her gold belt, to be a Brownie, to have a report card (all E's, shameless bragging, I know), to read, to have sight words, to have a life outside of me, to grow up and begin to pull away. I'm so proud of the big girl she is, but so sad to have lost the little girl she has been for so long. Sigh. Sniff.

She did say however, that she will not "get bigger than 7, and won't ever get married and leave our house". When I asked "You don't want a husband or a baby one day", she replied "Well, I could grow up, get married, have a baby and we could all live here with you and daddy". Um...no.

Since it was her birthday, she got bring home Harry the bear. Harry gets to spend the weekend with a different classmate each week. Chloe loved having Harry at her party (even though he was scared by all of the excitement and hid under the present table) and Harry loved hanging out with her. Other than finding him with an open bag of marshamallows and a guilty look on his snout, he was a good bear.

And all of that (plus other non-noteworthy things) my friends, is why I have neglected the blog for almost three weeks.

Identity check...

2007-10-23T11:54:00.000-05:00

Interesting story...I have been married for almost 7 years, but according to the US Government, I am still Destry Long...well, I was until yesterday.

I have a distinct aversion to governmental agency offices...like, say the Social Security Administration Office...and I tend to avoid said offices at all costs.

When Mark and I were first married, I had my drivers license changed the week after our honeymoon. I had to. In order to have a joint checking account, etc, I had to have a photo ID with my correct last name.

I had intended on having my Social Security card changed as well. There was no way that I could change my drivers license and Social Security card on the same day because (1) the driver testing center claimed over four hours of my life and by the time I left, the Social Security office had closed (2) even if it had been open, I wouldn't have gone because I had reached my government office attendance limit for the month.

Well, one month turned into nine. When Mark filed our taxes the following January, TurboTax denied our filing. Why...because there was no such person as Mrs. Mark Suffridge. Oops.

Mark filed as Mark Suffridge and Destry Long. After being called Mrs. Long for the next two weeks, I swore that I would brave the SS office and correct the problem. 12 months later, while filing our taxes, Mark asks if I have had my card changed. Oops again.

Ditto for years three, four, and five. Sad, I know. I have been living in last name limbo for almost seven years. In my defense, other than the tax thing, it hasn't been an issue. My drivers license, voter's registration, gym photo ID...they all say Suffridge.

So, why the sudden courage to face my irrational avoidance of the afore mentioned office? Did I finally get tired of being called Mrs. Long by Mr. Suffridge, was I afraid that we would be audited, did Mark's look of annoyance mingled with a touch of hurt spur me into action? No. I needed a passport. And, to get a passport, all of my identities needed to be merged into one legal, government wide, recognized name.

Yesterday, I merged. Yes, I am officially Mrs. Mark Suffridge (now if I win the Publisher's Clearing House, there will be no confusion over who to make the check out to).

For the record, I still do not like government offices. After psyching myself up for the experience..."it's not that bad"..." it can't take that long"..."if I don't get the stinkin' passport, there will be no mission trip to Guatemala, so get over your issues and go get the card changed already"... I headed to the office with Cammie in tow. I had 2 hours before time to pick up Chloe.

I scored a front parking space...I'm thinking that's a good sign. I open the door to the office and there aren't any seats available...bad sign. The heavily armed security guard (very bad sign) hands me a number and points me towards the counter to fill out forms. All of the forms were in Spanish...I, do not speak Spanish.

The nice guard fetches a form that I can actually read. I listen to the chatter in the waiting room as I fill out the paperwork. Evidently, there are a few people that have been waiting for over 4 hours (bad sign) and think that by heckling the nice ladies working behind the bulletproof glass (bad sign) they might speed up the process. (Note to hecklers...(1) if you are old enough to be a grandmother, you are old enough to know better, (2) the nice ladies can and will keep pushing your number to the bottom of the pile and (3) the security guard is heavily armed).

I finish with my forms and turn to see that two seats have opened up (good sign). Sigh of relief. I coax Cammie out from under the counter that she has been hiding under (better to survey the new and interesting specimen of humanity) and head to the chairs that were conveniently placed between the trench coated man with his baseball cap pulled low over his eyes (who was at the moment showing his lack of vocabulary by swearing in a semi-raised tone as he read the newspaper) (bad sign) and a tattooed and pierced individual that was examining the crowded room with as much disdain as I.

I scooted our chairs a little further from Mr. Vocabulary and a little closer to Mr. Body Art. Cammie, sat quietly, swinging her feet...kicking Mr. Body Art repeatedly in the process. He was good sport about it (good sign, I don't think Mr. Vocabulary would have been as kind).

Mr. Vocabulary kept up his diatribe in conversational tones to the room at large. When Mr. Security pointed a newcomer towards the form table, Mr. Vocab swiveled in his chair and barked "YOU didn't tell me I needed to fill anything out". (Thus confirming his lack of intelligence by (1) raising his voice at someone wearing a firearm and (2) thinking that it is possible to interact with the government without a mass of paperwork involved). Mr. Guard simply pointed at the counter and raised his eyebrows.

Mr. Vocab picks up a form and says in an outside voice "This s$@# is written in Spanish... I thought we were in America". This outburst causes all of the Mexican-Americans in attendance to glare across the room at Mr. Vocab, the bullet-proof workers to stop mid-sentence and raise their brows, Mr. Body Art to snicker, me to wonder how quickly I can get out the door with Cammie in the event of an emergency and Mr. Guard to say "Hey, buddy, don't even go there" and then head to the back to bring out a batch of English forms (why he didn't bring them out when he brought mine, I don't know).

Mr. Vocab fills out the form at the counter and brings it back to read. Mr. Security goes back into the inner sanctum of the office only to reappear a few minutes later. He tells Mr. Body Art that he had to call the police. Why? Someone was on the phone with a caller who was threatening to commit suicide. (Why would you call the SS office and tell them you were going to kill yourself)?

At this point. Mr. Vocab says a few very bad words in a very loud voice. Evidently, he didn't think that he should have to show proof of citizenship and identity in order to get a new SS card.

He storms out. Whew.

Cammie, sits watching the strangers (and trust me, they were strange...think Wal-Mart at midnight...you can see some strange folks). She decides that she needs to go potty. To which she gets a stern "No, you can wait". A few seconds go by and she decides that she would like a drink from the water fountain followed by another "NO". Of course she wants to know why not and I explain that we don't want to get any germs. This seems to suffice and we continue singing the songs from the Christmas Program that the kids have been practicing for and that I have been using to distract Cammie from all of the colorful and disrespectful language that has been flying around us for the last hour.

She notices a woman come out of the restroom and a man drinking from the fountain and says in a loud voice "They don't care if they catch germs, do they mamma"? A few people laugh, the woman gives us a not-so-nice look and I start humming Christmas songs a little bit louder. Ahh... children.

After 1 hour and 5o minutes...just as I am working myself into hives because it almost time for me to leave to get Chloe and I still haven't had my turn with the bulletproof ladies which means that I am going to have to come back again and do this all over...my number is called.

I am nice and pleasant to the bulletproof lady helping me. She is genuinely surprised. As I turn to leave, I say to Cammie "that wasn't too bad, was it" I see three of the hecklers still sitting in their seats...glaring at me. Hey, it's not my fault their number was pushed to the bottom.

I just don't get it. Why, does Government Office = Strange People. Where were all the "normal" or even "semi-normal" people...you know...the people that had just gotten married, or needed a card for their child...just plain old, regular, normal people? It was like the Twilight Zone.

When we got back into the car, I was so thankful that it was taken care of...I might have skipped the mission trip if it meant a return visit to the SS office.

Now, I can't wait to see what interesting things happen in the passport application process.

Finally...Fall

2007-10-16T18:36:00.000-05:00

Ahh...Fall...my favorite season. I love sleeping with the windows open and feeling chilled. I adore little girls in knee-hi socks and cable knit cardigans and there is nothing like the sight of trees aflame with Autumn color. Fall...love it.

Of course, Fall also means Pumpkin Patch time. We go every year. This year, we are actually going twice. Saturday we went to Gentry Farms as a family and this weekend we are going to Honeysuckle Hill with our Sunday School department. There's no such thing as "too much pumpkin patch" right?

Forrest thinks that there is definitely such a thing...he's "too old" which I think translates loosely into "he's too cool" for the pumpkin patch. Unfortunately for him, our household is not run as a Democracy...it's more like a Dictatorship. A very loving Dictatorship, one with lots of perks and privileges, but at 13, no vote is, well, no vote. Anyhoo...next week, he'll be playing big brother to a kid without a parental chaperon...at the Pumpkin Patch...and I think that is cool.

Speaking of the pumpkin patch...you know it's been a scorching, bone dry summer when you get to the patch, wander to the corn maze and find a sign like this:

Munchkin Maze indeed. Normally, the stalks would tower over Mark (who is 6'4), this year, they reached to Cammie's shoulders.

In other news...

-I am officially on a self-imposed book hiatus. My laundry is happy about this(subsequently, so is my husband)

-Chloe earned her full orange belt and is reading (very,very cool). (This pic is from a competition a few weeks ago).

-Forrest is working on his entrance essay for JPII. He's excited, so are we. I just can't bring myself to tell him that he'll have to wear a tie to school everyday...don't want to dampen his enthusiasm or remind him that this is yet another issue in which he doesn't get a vote.

-Cammie is well on her way to the Olympics. She is killing me with her gymnastics prowess. (She is also killing the foot board to my bed by doing flips off of it, ditto the ottoman in the family room).

-Hannah is learning to play the trumpet. I thought my days of hearing that obnoxious sound were over when Forrest switched to the guitar. Nope, another child has succumbed to the allure of the brass honker.

-Sophie is revelling in the fact that as a first grader, she can impart wisdom to her sister who is but a mere kindergartner. Let's just say she is taking her role as mentor very seriously.

Here's a pic of Cammie and her friend Vovie. They are the bestest of friends and this is how they get from point A to point B when together...holding hands and skipping...

Random things...

2007-10-06T19:56:00.000-05:00

-The fish in our pond had babies. Two wittle tiny goldfish babies...cute.

-I am bothered that it was 91 degrees today...the 6th of October should be 20 degrees cooler than that.

-I have noticed a sharp increase in toy commercials...must be approaching the Holiday's. Hmmm...hard to get in the Christmas spirit when we haven't even reached Trunk or Treat and it's 91 degrees outside.

-We have decided that it would be irresponsible of us to put Cammie in karate lessons. She would definitely be lethal.

-Speaking of karate, Chloe came in 3rd place at the karate Olympics last weekend. (Granted there were only 4 kids in her bracket and the 4th place kid forgot everything after his initial bow to enter the mat). We (and she) are very proud (she really did do well...she was the only girl to compete).

-What we name our children has a direct impact on their personality...Forrest = tree hugger. He is interested in saving all things environmental. Me, I don't believe in global warming and feel zero guilt in driving a gas guzzling SUV. He wants a hybrid car when he turns 16. (We are leery of letting him drive, so I am thinking we should get him an electric car and make him responsible for plugging it in to charge...that would insure that he wouldn't drive, as I know that there is no way under the sun he would remember to plug it in every night).

-It used to make Mark grumpy and he would whine when we ran out of milk. It still does, and now, Forrest gets grumpy and whines when we run out of milk. Hrrrmmm...maybe we should put a dairy cow in the backyard...less whining, more milk.

-I wonder who thought it would be a good idea to put a show called "The Naked Brothers" on Nickelodean?

-I have been immersed in 18th Century Scotland for the last month and my husband (and my laundry) would like me to come back to the here and now. Ahhhh...perhaps next week, if I read verra quick like and finish my wee little book).

-Sometimes, it really irks me that there are no "bag boys" (I am not opposed to "bag girls" mind you) at the Super-Walmart.

Completely random.