Because we all want to be politically correct, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO_vbadvmCc
Monday, December 24, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
A shout out to Mrs. Clause...
I was thinking the other day (yes, I know that can be scary) about this whole Santa thing. And while I love Santa and realize that without his financial backing, well there wouldn't be a workshop around here. I do however have an observation or two to make. Like, the fact that Mrs. Clause rarely receives the credit she deserves and seemingly plays a supporting roll next to his leading one.
Observations:
1-Santa, checks his list TWICE.
Mrs. Clause, no less that 27 times.
2-Mrs. Clause makes the list. Without her, he wouldn't have a list to check once, much less
twice.
3-Mr. Clause doesn't actually read the list, it is read to him...by Mrs. Clause.
4-Mrs. Clause, not Santa hires the elves. (That would be the babysitter that turns into wrapper
elf when the Mrs. realizes that she can't possibly wrap all the gifts herself and that Mr. Clause
would be content to slap a bow on the plastic Target bag that Mrs. Clause's gift came in).
5-Santa does not realize the delicate balance of the equal amount of presents to equal value of
present ratio that his children understand and are quick to point out.
6-Mr. Clause doesn't know whose been naughty or nice unless he gets his evening report...from
the Mrs.
7-Mrs. Clause also oversees the decorating, the catering, and the mandatory appearances.
Santa, merely nods in approval (if he notices), passes out a compliment on the tastiness, and
shows up.
8-Santa really doesn't have a clue as to what an age appropriate gift is, which girl is into Hannah
Montana and which is into High School Musical.
Now, the positives... Santa is definitely trainable...he is now quite adept at stuffing Mrs. Clause's stocking, buying her gifts before Christmas Eve and funding the Christmas Workshop that is ran by the Mrs.
Observations:
1-Santa, checks his list TWICE.
Mrs. Clause, no less that 27 times.
2-Mrs. Clause makes the list. Without her, he wouldn't have a list to check once, much less
twice.
3-Mr. Clause doesn't actually read the list, it is read to him...by Mrs. Clause.
4-Mrs. Clause, not Santa hires the elves. (That would be the babysitter that turns into wrapper
elf when the Mrs. realizes that she can't possibly wrap all the gifts herself and that Mr. Clause
would be content to slap a bow on the plastic Target bag that Mrs. Clause's gift came in).
5-Santa does not realize the delicate balance of the equal amount of presents to equal value of
present ratio that his children understand and are quick to point out.
6-Mr. Clause doesn't know whose been naughty or nice unless he gets his evening report...from
the Mrs.
7-Mrs. Clause also oversees the decorating, the catering, and the mandatory appearances.
Santa, merely nods in approval (if he notices), passes out a compliment on the tastiness, and
shows up.
8-Santa really doesn't have a clue as to what an age appropriate gift is, which girl is into Hannah
Montana and which is into High School Musical.
Now, the positives... Santa is definitely trainable...he is now quite adept at stuffing Mrs. Clause's stocking, buying her gifts before Christmas Eve and funding the Christmas Workshop that is ran by the Mrs.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Keep it to yourself...
Cammie and I were at Joanns buying a last minute addition to my sister's Christmas gift. There were two 60ish women standing in the middle of the aisle, talking. Blocking our passage through the aisle.
We wait for 30 seconds or so. Cammie, gets tired of waiting on the conversing-not-shopping ladies and says politely "excuse me please". (I was impressed with her manners).
The ladies give me a look like Cammie had said "move it Grannies, we're in a hurry and you're hogging the aisle".
As we pass, I say loud enough for them to hear, "I like the way you used your manners, that was so polite".
At Joanns, you wait in line for the next available cashier. Of course they end up in line directly behind us.
Cammie is sucking her thumb, it's been a long day, she's tired, when she's tired, she sucks her thumb.
The following scene happened:
Lady1: "Get that thumb out of your mouth, you're too big for that."
Lady2: "Ewww, it's disgusting to put you're thumb in you're mouth."
Cammie: Looks them straight in the eye and keeps sucking her thumb.
Me: "Well, she thinks it's very tasty."
Lady1:"I'm sure, and it'll give her very pretty teeth too."
Right at that moment, it was my turn to head to a cashier.
Let me say this. They are very lucky that I:
(1) am a Christian and no longer cuss.
(2) respect my elders.
(3) have great self control when it comes to ignorant, negative, busy bodies.
My pediatrician doesn't mind that she sucks her thumb.
Our pediatric dentist says that 9 of 10 kids have braces anyways.
The kid was sucking her thumb in utero, on the ultrasound. Not an easy habit to break.
It's noones business if she sucks her thumb, but mine and my husbands. We can afford braces.
Future reference for little ladies that feel it's their right and duty to comment on my child and her thumb:
KEEP YOUR UNSOLICITED OPINIONS AND NEGATIVITY TO YOURSELF, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
As we headed out of the store, Cammie stared them down, thumb in mouth. That's my girl.
We wait for 30 seconds or so. Cammie, gets tired of waiting on the conversing-not-shopping ladies and says politely "excuse me please". (I was impressed with her manners).
The ladies give me a look like Cammie had said "move it Grannies, we're in a hurry and you're hogging the aisle".
As we pass, I say loud enough for them to hear, "I like the way you used your manners, that was so polite".
At Joanns, you wait in line for the next available cashier. Of course they end up in line directly behind us.
Cammie is sucking her thumb, it's been a long day, she's tired, when she's tired, she sucks her thumb.
The following scene happened:
Lady1: "Get that thumb out of your mouth, you're too big for that."
Lady2: "Ewww, it's disgusting to put you're thumb in you're mouth."
Cammie: Looks them straight in the eye and keeps sucking her thumb.
Me: "Well, she thinks it's very tasty."
Lady1:"I'm sure, and it'll give her very pretty teeth too."
Right at that moment, it was my turn to head to a cashier.
Let me say this. They are very lucky that I:
(1) am a Christian and no longer cuss.
(2) respect my elders.
(3) have great self control when it comes to ignorant, negative, busy bodies.
My pediatrician doesn't mind that she sucks her thumb.
Our pediatric dentist says that 9 of 10 kids have braces anyways.
The kid was sucking her thumb in utero, on the ultrasound. Not an easy habit to break.
It's noones business if she sucks her thumb, but mine and my husbands. We can afford braces.
Future reference for little ladies that feel it's their right and duty to comment on my child and her thumb:
KEEP YOUR UNSOLICITED OPINIONS AND NEGATIVITY TO YOURSELF, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
As we headed out of the store, Cammie stared them down, thumb in mouth. That's my girl.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Shady Acres- Home For The Infirm
Bet ya didn't know we were going into the convalescent business, did ya? That's okay, neither did we.
Our new adventure started on Saturday December 1st.
Mark's mom is building a house down the street from us. She had sold her old house and had to be out by the 1st. The new house is supposed to be finished the first week of January. The plan was for her to stay with us until her house was available.
We spent all day on the 1st moving her into a POD and our house. That evening, she fell asleep on our couch. She has back trouble and we were worried that sleeping on our very attractive but not so comfortable sectional would aggravate the problem...so, we woke her up to go to bed.
Half way up the stairs...she fell. Hard. She hit her head on the hardwood floors and was knocked unconscious. There was a lot of blood, her eyes were open and she wasn't responding.
We called 911 and rushed her to the hospital. A neighbor came to stay with Cammie, Chloe and Forrest...who all saw it happen, (thank God for good neighbors).
After several hours, it was determined that she had a concussion and that she had shattered her heel. The doctors were not too concerned with her concussion, but very concerned with her heel.
Evidently, your heel is one of the worst possible bones to break in your body. Who knew?
We brought her home and spent Sunday and Monday renting a wheel chair, buying crutches, building a wheelchair ramp and making appointments with the Orthopedic Specialist.
Her appointment with the specialist was set for Tuesday.
Tuesday morning, Cammie woke up with her eyes matted shut. Chloe had one eye semi-matted. Lovely.
Instead of the Orthopedic doctor, I was on my way to the pediatrician. One case of pink eye (Cammie), one case of an eye cold (Chloe) and some serious fluid behind ears (Chloe again), we were on our way home.
Chloe has been nearly deaf for almost a week. She collects fluid behind her ears due to some weird thing with her adenoids. She is having her tonsils and adenoids removed and tubes put in her ears the day after Christmas. Hopefully that will help with her hearing problems...that, or we are going to have to get the poor kid a hearing aid. The volume that we have to talk in order for her to understand us, plus the level of volume on the TV required for her to hear it, are creating some serious noise pollution around here.
Okay, so while I am getting all of the good EYE news, Mark is hearing from the Ortho doctor that his moms foot is too swollen to do surgery on. That she has to come back the following Tuesday (tomorrow) for a recheck. That after the surgery, she won't be able to walk or drive for 3 months.
Over the weekend, Hannah had a migraine and a stomach ache.
This morning, I went to wake Chloe up for school...and she was covered in a red rash. I called the doctor's office. The lady on the phone said that it was probably Fifths Disease, but I could bring her in if I wanted to.
Is it Fifths Disease? Where she can go back to school tomorrow because once the rash appears, you're not contagious? No. Of course not. She has Scarlet Fever (basically strep with a rash). Where she has to stay home at least through Wednesday. Where I can't finish my Christmas shopping by my deadline of December 11th. Where we have to miss THE most important Girl Scout meeting of the year (the one where I explain to all the parents the ins and outs of selling Girl Scout Cookies).
I'm not sure here, but I think that caring for people with pink eye, an eye cold, migraines, stomach viruses, wheelchair bound heel injuries, strep throat, scary skin rashes, tonsil/adenoidectomy, tubes in their ears, and a little "snip snip" procedure (that would be Mark) in less than a one month span qualifies us as a convalescent center.
One thing I can say for sure... life is interesting.
Our new adventure started on Saturday December 1st.
Mark's mom is building a house down the street from us. She had sold her old house and had to be out by the 1st. The new house is supposed to be finished the first week of January. The plan was for her to stay with us until her house was available.
We spent all day on the 1st moving her into a POD and our house. That evening, she fell asleep on our couch. She has back trouble and we were worried that sleeping on our very attractive but not so comfortable sectional would aggravate the problem...so, we woke her up to go to bed.
Half way up the stairs...she fell. Hard. She hit her head on the hardwood floors and was knocked unconscious. There was a lot of blood, her eyes were open and she wasn't responding.
We called 911 and rushed her to the hospital. A neighbor came to stay with Cammie, Chloe and Forrest...who all saw it happen, (thank God for good neighbors).
After several hours, it was determined that she had a concussion and that she had shattered her heel. The doctors were not too concerned with her concussion, but very concerned with her heel.
Evidently, your heel is one of the worst possible bones to break in your body. Who knew?
We brought her home and spent Sunday and Monday renting a wheel chair, buying crutches, building a wheelchair ramp and making appointments with the Orthopedic Specialist.
Her appointment with the specialist was set for Tuesday.
Tuesday morning, Cammie woke up with her eyes matted shut. Chloe had one eye semi-matted. Lovely.
Instead of the Orthopedic doctor, I was on my way to the pediatrician. One case of pink eye (Cammie), one case of an eye cold (Chloe) and some serious fluid behind ears (Chloe again), we were on our way home.
Chloe has been nearly deaf for almost a week. She collects fluid behind her ears due to some weird thing with her adenoids. She is having her tonsils and adenoids removed and tubes put in her ears the day after Christmas. Hopefully that will help with her hearing problems...that, or we are going to have to get the poor kid a hearing aid. The volume that we have to talk in order for her to understand us, plus the level of volume on the TV required for her to hear it, are creating some serious noise pollution around here.
Okay, so while I am getting all of the good EYE news, Mark is hearing from the Ortho doctor that his moms foot is too swollen to do surgery on. That she has to come back the following Tuesday (tomorrow) for a recheck. That after the surgery, she won't be able to walk or drive for 3 months.
Over the weekend, Hannah had a migraine and a stomach ache.
This morning, I went to wake Chloe up for school...and she was covered in a red rash. I called the doctor's office. The lady on the phone said that it was probably Fifths Disease, but I could bring her in if I wanted to.
Is it Fifths Disease? Where she can go back to school tomorrow because once the rash appears, you're not contagious? No. Of course not. She has Scarlet Fever (basically strep with a rash). Where she has to stay home at least through Wednesday. Where I can't finish my Christmas shopping by my deadline of December 11th. Where we have to miss THE most important Girl Scout meeting of the year (the one where I explain to all the parents the ins and outs of selling Girl Scout Cookies).
I'm not sure here, but I think that caring for people with pink eye, an eye cold, migraines, stomach viruses, wheelchair bound heel injuries, strep throat, scary skin rashes, tonsil/adenoidectomy, tubes in their ears, and a little "snip snip" procedure (that would be Mark) in less than a one month span qualifies us as a convalescent center.
One thing I can say for sure... life is interesting.
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