It's gettin' hot in here...

Well, not here exactly, but at Hot Yoga.


A friend of mine had tried out a session at the new Hot Yoga studio, and suggested that I try it.


She said that it was "really relaxing" (not interesting me too much), that the temperature in the studio was set between 95 degrees and 105 degrees (yes Fahrenheit, and my minimal interest was fading fast), and that the humidity was set to 40 percent. My interest at this point...zero.


I guess she could tell by my highly arched eyebrows that I was less than enthusiastic about the prospect of paying good money to die of a heat stroke. Then, she said the words that made my interest level go from zero to 100 in seconds. "You burn between 700 and 900 calories in one session".


Oh yeah, I'm interested. (I wonder how many Weight Watcher "activity points" that translates into)?


I ask what I need for the class, and she says a mat, sweat towel, comfortable clothes and water...lots of water.


Now, after my recent sessions with Ashley, I am aware of my physical limitations. I ask my (very fit) friend if everyone that goes to Hot Yoga looks like Madonna (who does Hot Yoga on a regular basis)? She says "no, there are all shapes and sizes and all different fitness levels in a session".


So, I head to Hot Yoga in sweat pants and a t-shirt, carrying my pink mat, 3 bottles of water and a hand towel. I arrive 10 minutes before the session begins (proud of myself for getting there early, because, surely you have to sign a waiver in order to exercise in a steam room).


The cheerleader that walked into the studio ahead of me had me rethinking this whole "all different fitness levels" thing. And when the very trim lady behind the counter looked at my sweat pants and then asked "this would be your first session, correct ?", I was all but over the whole experience.


I nod yes and Trim-counter-lady says that "first-timers" need to arrive 30 minutes before their sessions so that they can "acclimate to the extreme conditions in which the postures are performed"... could I please come back the next day?


Feeling an equal mix of disappointment and relief, I headed back out to my truck, yoga mat and water in hand.


I considered taking this as "a sign" that I should avoid Hot Yoga. Alas (still love that word), curiosity and stubbornness prevailed, and 4 days later, I went back to the studio.


This time, I arrived 35 minutes early and wore capri work out pants. Proud of myself for being prepared, I toted my pink yoga mat, 3 water bottles and hand towel in to try again.


Trim-counter-lady looks over my attire (doesn't flinch, which I considered minor victory #1) and says "You came back, good". Hmm...not sure how that was meant because her face is emotionless.


"Sign here" she says (see, I knew there had to be a waiver). Glancing at me again she notes "mat, water, good". "Do you have a towel" she asks.


Thinking that maybe all the steam in the lobby has blurred her vision, I wave my very-visible-hot-pink hand towel and say "Yep". (Chalk that up as minor victory #2).


Emotionless-trim-counter-lady gives me a little smile (I'll stop short of calling it patronizing), reaches under the counter and pulls out...an over sized beach towel. (Erase minor victory #2).


Trim-counter-lady comes out from behind the counter and says that she will help me get set up. We walk down a hallway, and before she opens the door to the Studio, she informs me that I should lie on my mat, eyes closed, focused on my breathing and that there is no talking in the studio. Okay, got it.


I set my waters down, unroll my mat and begin to lie down. She wags a finger at me, I step back, she unrolls the over sized beach towel and covers my mat with it. With a smile (genuine this time), she leaves me to breathe.


I breathe. It's dark. It's quiet. There is soft music playing...a flute with chirping bird noises in the background.


My ponytail is jabbing me in the back of the head. I sit up, take out my ponytail holder and pull my hair into a bun high on the top of my head. As I wrap the rubberband around my hair, it snaps and shoots across the room. Not good.


I lie back down and think that this is a definite sign that I should have paid attention to the sign I was given 4 days ago, and just let the whole Hot Yoga thing go.


Did I mention I was stubborn? I was not going back out into the lobby to ask for a rubber band and I was definitely not rolling up my mat and leaving, so, I laid there, breathing and cursing ponytail makers.


Others come in, ready there mats and breathe. I wonder a few times about the towel she laid on my mat.


The door opens and the instructor comes in and talks in a quiet, solemn voice. The voice instructs us to stand, feet together with our hands by our sides. When I stand, I find that the voice belongs to trim-counter-lady.


5 minutes into the session, I had already learned several lessons.


(1) the towel on my mat is there to soak up the gallons of sweat, otherwise, my yoga mat would be a pink Nike slip-in-slide


(2) I'm not as flexible as I used to be (big surprise there)


(3) there are actually people that have less stamina than I...this determined by the fact that
two people laid down on their mat at about minute four and stayed there for the next
86 minutes


While I performed most of the postures in a less than graceful manner, I did make it through the entire class. This in spite of the fact that I was constantly being slapped in the face by wild strands of soaking wet hair (did I say that I cursed ponytail makers everywhere).


The best part of the class was the very end. No, not because it was over, but because as we were laying on our mats, palms up, eyes closed, the instructor, walked around the room and dropped ice cold, lavender scented wash cloths into our hands. It smelled heavenly, and it cooled off the inferno that was my face.


When I got home, Forrest asked me why I took a shower at the gym and then put my sweaty clothes back on...that is how wet my hair was...it looked like I had just got out of the shower.


I went for a second session, with back up ponytail holders this time.


I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I have 8 more sessions in my trial package. Not sure if I'll go after those are used up. Just not sure.


One thing that I am sure about...it is definitely Hot.


There are positives...like those 700-900 calories that are left soaking into the towel. The first five minutes and the last five minutes are relaxing...of course these are times that you get to lay still, in the dark with soothing music. Also, you can actually clear your mind (which is supposed to help reduce stress) by practicing yoga. I happen to think this is because all of your thoughts are focused on keeping yourself from falling over due to heat exhaustion.


We'll see.