Wherein Cammie asks another loaded question...

On our way to church we pass a certain restaurant on Two Mile Pk (Two Mile Pk was actually changed to Rivergate Parkway a few years ago... I happen to think that it is wrong to rename a road that has a perfectly good name to begin with...and, if you have lived 28 years calling it one name, it is rather difficult to adapt to the new name...thus ensuring that when a newcomer says "it's on Rivergate Parkway" you fix them with a blank stare and search about your brain trying to get a mental image of "Rivergate Parkway" all the while wondering how said newcomer knows about a street that you don't and you have lived here all of you life...until recognition finally shakes something loose in your brain and your blank look is replaced by a knowing look and with a smile you say "oh, you mean Two Mile Pk")...anyhoo...we pass a certain eating/drinking establishment on our way to church.

This establishment is tucked under the 65N overpass and it's set back a bit from the road. The building is sided by tall lengths of grey paneling and honestly, it appears more than a little drab. In the last couple of years, it looks like the owners tried to spruce the place up by erecting day-glo orange palm trees out front and stringing large globe Christmas lights around the perimeter. On Saturday afternoons it is the home of biker rallies.

Let me begin this next part by saying that we eat out on a regular basis...and by regular I mean entirely too much. I would be embarrassed to tell you how many meals a week we eat out. (This is where I mention that I have cooked the last three nights in a row and have dinner simmering in the crockpot for tonight...working on that whole "better" wife, mother Destry thing). Our kids are accustomed to trying out new restaurants. They know where all of the good (decent would be a better word) places to eat in Rivergate/Goodlettsville are...and they know that if a new restaurant opens, we will inevitably check it out. With all of that I mind, I'm actually surprised that the following conversation hasn't occurred before now...

Scene: Mark, Forrest, Chloe, Cammie and I on the way to mid-week service last night. Mark and I are chatting about something that happened at his work, the kids are actually being quiet for a moment. We drive under the 65N overpass and Cammie pipes up...

Cammie: "Why don't we ever eat there"?

Me: (absently because I am in the middle of an actual "grown-up"conversation" for the first time in hours) "Where, baby"?

Cammie: "That place with the orange trees".

As I am swiveling to see where she is pointing, realization strikes me just before my eyes land on the sign with the little owl mascot.

Me: "Which place"? I ask, stalling as I cast about for an answer.

Chloe has a keen interest in trying out new restaurants and she joins in the conversation..."That place over there with the orange trees and the owl on the sign".

Forrest: snickering in the third row seat..."Yeah, why don't we ever eat there"?

I take this moment to jab Mark with my elbow...a gesture that asks the question why do I always have to answer the hard questions? He gives me a deer-in-the-headlights look and murmurs, an "Uhhh"...

Me: "Well, Cammie, we don't eat there because the waitresses don't wear enough clothes".

Forrest: "Way to be honest mom"...still snickering...

Chloe who is offended by public displays of flesh (you should hear her when she spots someone mowing the lawn sans shirt) says "Ewww, that's disgusting. In a restaurant"?

Cammie: "Oh, so that's why we don't go there".

I think the conversation is over. I am wrong. Two seconds later...

Cammie: "Have you and Daddy ever eaten there"?

Mark and I exchange a glance, Forrest's snickering is now an official laugh...

Me: "Yes, we have".

Cammie in a jubilant voice says: "I knew it"! Then after a pause, "You ate there before I was born, right"?

Me: "Yes, before you born".

Cammie: "When I was in your tummy"? Perhaps she is thinking this would count as her eating there as well, something that would inevitably be used to taunt her sister.

Me: "No, not while you were in my tummy".

Mark and I are giggling by this point. I reach over and turn the radio up a few notches louder in order to discourage further conversation about dining at H00ters. I don't think explaining that it's the only place that you can get Buffalo Shrimp would have helped the situation.